As my hormones continue to hammer me, I am riddled with self doubt and dancing on the precipice of sliding down the slippery slopes of depression. Even though my golden rule of navigating the roller coaster of hormones, is to disregard everything that my brain is telling me as complete crap, I can’t help but evaluate the balance (or lack-there-of) in my life.

After spending most of my 20s sick, having to fight for every moment of good health, I entered my 30s with a deep appreciation for the importance of well being, knowing that without it we have nothing. However, it seems with the freedom from the restraint of ill health, I lost the lesson and now the scales of balance are weighing out their consequences. Somehow, I switched on the self destruct button and neglected to take care of myself like I should.

Not only must we take care of our bodies, we must nurture our self esteem and the relationship we have with ourselves. In my 30s, not only did I regain my health, I became Queen of my castle and stopped looking to others for approval or measuring myself against others beliefs, opinions and judgements. I realised I wasn’t perfect, but god damn it, I was fabulous anyway. You could either like it or not, and if not, well that’s okay, because I do. Sure, there is always the space for self improvement, but it doesn’t come from a place of people pleasing.

It’s time to get the joke – you don’t like everyone and not everyone will like you. Stop killing yourself with the futile exercise of comparing yourself to everyone else, torturing yourself for being too much of this and not enough of that. Your only chance of happiness, is to stop trying to mould yourself into someone everyone else will like. It’s time to start becoming someone that you like, so that you don’t get knocked down and carried away by other people’s opinions.

Safe in the knowledge that this hormonal storm will pass, and usher in the normality of my self assured self, I finish this little bed time story with a reminder to take care of yourself, regularly do those things that keep you centred, nurture the relationship you have with yourself and surround yourself with people who love you “just as you are”.

Copyright 2009 | Gaynor Alder