As we come to the end of the year, I find myself reflecting on the year that was – okay, okay, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, but if Myers can put out their Christmas decorations in August, well then I can go all introspective on you before the New Year.

So where was I? That’s right …. what have I achieved? What do I need to change? What drains my energy? What do I need to let go of? What is that feeling that is eating away at me that makes me want to drown in a bottle of wine on a daily basis? … “Want?” The four empty bottles in my kitchen doth disagree.

All of these questions are disciples of change, knocking at my door begging me to listen, so that their answers may propel me forward towards the next fabulous phase. When I refuse to answer the door and continue to put up with things I shouldn’t, they send in the heavies that push me around and harass me until I get so frustrated, that I must take action.

I have achieved many fabulous things this year, but there is also dead energy around me that I must brush off. Things that are holding me back and keeping me stuck. Situations that aggravate and drain me. Things I spend hours procrastinating on. Things that the mere thought of doing fill me with dread. Things that must come to an end.

I have never been one to accept mediocrity. I will not stumble along in denial and put up with things that I shouldn’t. Why? Why would you? I owe it to the little girl that used to sneak the latest Sweet Valley High into her bed with a torch and read it under the cover of her doona (lights out was strictly 8:30, unless A Country Practice was on), to never stop writing.

I have loved words ever since my granny gave me Anne of Green Gables and Pollyanna for Christmas. When I was ten, she sat me down to watch the original BBC version of Pride and Prejudice, and I found myself utterly captivated by the flirtatious way they married words together to create such beautiful sentences loaded with double entendres (then again that could well have been Colin Firth instead of the prose).

More than this I owe it to that same little girl, who was fascinated by her Aunty’s make up, interior design books and her Nanna’s ability to whip up fancy dress costumes at the click of a finger, to write about what I love.

So, as the time for me to give up resume writing looms in order to wholly dedicate myself to writing for magazines, my book and this lovely blog, I embrace the questions and changes. I embrace the temporary upheaval of finding somewhere new to live because my soul knows it needs a new place to be inspired and write. I embrace it all, because I know discontent is always a signal that there are other fabulous and exciting things that lay ahead – but only if we listen to it and do what we need to do. I also know that sometimes things just come to their natural end after they have served their purpose.

What do you owe to yourself to leave behind in 2009?