I can’t deny it – I am going through something. Something that makes me want to run straight to the shop for a bottle of sauvignon blanc and a packet of Vogue super slim menthols. A sorrow so deep that it’s bringing me to my knees.

A sorrow so great that it should have instantly identified itself, instead of hiding in the shadows and dishing out its pain by slowly seeping through the cracks of my confusion. A sorrow that once its tears has formed puddles at my feet, reveals memories that take my breath away with their velocity.

Some may say I should be over it by now, or that maybe others have been through worse. But it’s important and I matter. I shall treat it accordingly, with as much care as a mother cradling a new born baby and as delicately as someone sliding on an expensive pair of silk stockings. I will be ever so gentle and give myself the same love, support and understanding that I give everyone else. For it deserves nothing less than this kind of respect.

I have a theory. It’s that when life hurts us in a way that is bigger than Ben Hur, we aren’t able to process it all at once. Why? Because it would quite simply cripple us. We deal with it in parts and move forward bit by bit, as the flood of emotion eventually becomes a trickle. Each time a part of the pain is released, we become stronger and as the scars continue to close over and heal, we move forward and get on with our life.

Then without warning, an unexepected storm breaks.

It’s not until we are strong, really strong, that the rest of the unresolved emotions, put their hand up to be dealt with, because we are now in a position to be able to handle it.  These storms also tend to break when we are standing on the cusp of exquisitely beautiful things coming into our life, because you see, we have to let go of all that will hold us back from being able to live that life.

Every one of us deals with emotions in different ways. Some people construct their whole lives around avoiding them, burying themselves in work or addictions to drugs. Others take a cerebereal approach, by looking at it from a different perspective, focusing on something else and telling themselves to “get over it”. But emotions don’t work like that. No sirree, they don’t.

No matter your method of denial, they’ll inevitably catch up with you and hold you down against your will, and no amount of kicking or screaming will make them go away.

Facing things head on is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes we need to go on a bender until we can find the courage we need to be able to face it. But at the end of the day, the only way to pass through an emotional storm is to succumb to its pain, by standing completely still in the eye of it and allowing yourself to feel every square inch of it until it breaks. For emotions must be felt.

That is all they want. Nothing more and nothing less. They just want to be acknowledged and released, and the lessons they contain to be heard. They are not to be feared. They are to be revered as the messengers of our soul, that deliver us to a place of inner strength and personal growth. Without them we would be hollow and lifeless, with no capacity to experience real happiness when it comes knocking at our doors.

Let the tears lift the heaviness from your heart, and once the storm passes through you, as it inevitably will (sometimes as quickly as they break), it will leave a stillness in your soul, more beautiful than a calm ocean in the early morning. There will then be room in your heart for new love and space in your life for beautiful new opportunities and memories.

“This too shall be pass” – Helen Reiner

Image source: National Geographic