REAL MEN ONLY NEED APPLY: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ROMANCE?
I was out exercising the other day, when a boy yelled from across the road, “Hey walker, you got a boyfriend?” “Why, are you offering?” I replied. “Want to come to our place for some Jim Beam and chips? We live just down there, but don’t tell anyone.” “Why yes, I can imagine that you’d have hundreds of women beating a path to your door.” “So, are you coming?” “Tempting, but just this once I’ll have to say no.” … and people say chivalry is dead.
Humorous as this was, it’s not actually that far removed from how many relationships are formed these days. Instead of being taken out on proper dates, it seems you meet at a bar for a drink a few times and sleep with each other a few times, and hey presto, you’re in a relationship. Jane Austen would roll in her grave.
Whatever happened to men picking you up and taking you to a restaurant (and I’m not talking about just doing it once with the all intent purpose being to get into your knickers afterwards either)? I’m talking about real romance. A man meeting a girl they really like, and then taking her to nice places to get to know her better. Giving her flowers to signify the blossoming of his feelings. Taking her away for the weekend. Surprising her with gifts, whether they cost $1 or $100. Celebrating Valentine’s Day instead of ” I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day because it’s just money making propaganda”. But mostly, putting genuine thought into showing her how special she is – just because.
Where has all the romance gone I ask?
Are men just lazy?
Do they consider a woman who wants romance high maintenance?
Is it a sign of the times? Is dating now considered old fashioned?
Do they think it’s not masculine to be romantic?
Did the feminist movement kill romance? Do men think because we wanted to be treated equal, that they should then treat us how they treat their mates? “Want to come out for a drink and then come back to my place and “hang out?”
Perhaps they think modern women don’t want romance?
Whatever the reason, I think women need to take a stand. We need to start looking higher up on the tree for the good fruit, instead of just taking what falls on the ground. Because that fruit ends up rotting and going rancid very quickly. Yes, the good men are harder to reach, but they are worth the wait. You see, the good men would never consider romance high maintenance, nor care what their friends thought of them because they bought you flowers. They willingly show their affection, because they want to. It’s not an effort, it comes naturally because of the love that they have for you. They cherish you because they realise how special you are.
So next time you meet someone and his idea of a first date is meeting you down the pub with his mates for a drink, tell him in manner of Bridget Jones, “that’s not a good enough offer for me”, and send him on his way.
If you would like dating advice from The Modern Woman, send her your dilemma via the contact form below.
cridgway wrote, in response to gaynoralder:
I loved it! Thank you so much for saying what had to be said!
From: Gavin
Subject:
Message Body:
As a guy, what can I say to this post?
Yes, we are lazy.
No, the feminist movement has not killed romance. – We are just lazy.
According my single lady friends, the only good men is either dead or gay. As a straight guy, I am not too happy with this perspective .
Keep your standards high and don’t stop blogging. I love your writing style is awesome, even if I cannot relate to the mascara reviews.
Hang in there.
feminism has turned guys into pussified girlymen more concerned with getting in touch with some nonexistent feminine side than doing things that men do.
this is something that has been brewing for years and unfortunately i think it is become part of our society that i doubt we will be able to get rid of.
the absence of father figures i think is to blame. with the prevalence of divorce and deadbeat fathers, when boys grow up they learn only when they see from their mothers. when daughters grow up they have an innate disdain for men as they venture through their life wondering what a real husband/wife relationship is supposed to be like, most likely hearing nothing but bad commentary from the single mother of which she embraces and grows up with a bad taste in her mouth for men in general ,they feel entitled for being cheated.
couple that with feminism, attitudes and peer pressure from others growing up in similar situations, the supposed ‘evolution’ of society into the equality of men and women and you have a recipe for disaster.
until we make a return to traditional family values, it will continue to degrade. man and women were not designed to be equal, they were designed to compliment one another. when put together, the failures of the man are equalized by the shining of the woman and vice versa.
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