I tried the FB thing & the FWB thing, but unfortunately, both ended in tears, from both parties. In my 20s, I had a number of FBs, and in my early 30s, I had a number of FWBs.

The FBs, like you said, were easy – I was able to come and go as I pleased, as that was the arrangement. Sadly, though, 1 FB didn’t see our relationship as that, which made me wonder if he fully understood our arrangement. So I steered clear of FBs after that.

I have been blessed enough to have found the love of my life, but the last “relationship” I had before meeting my J was a long standing FWB. Well, at least, that’s what he thought, but I started to fall for him, which meant I was breaking our arrangement. I had to pull back from seeing him because I was, for some reason, waiting for him to realise I was falling for him, and knew that the feelings were not reciprocated.

After I met J, my FWB and I tried to go back to being friends, but things were never really the same. Until one night, he came over and told me that he couldn’t see me any more because it was hurting him to see me with J, and that he was in love with me and I was always the one – it just took him until I met J to realise that I was “the one” for him. Tears all round – him because he couldn’t have me, and me because it was in a small way, I felt guilty that I now didn’t love him the way I love my J.

If I didn’t have J, I don’t think I’d be brave enough to venture into another FWB thing. I’m not strong enough to differentiate that line, and I know eventually I’d end up hurting myself again.