The Modern Woman's Survival Guide

I am one of those freaks who gets an undeniable thrill from cleaning out cupboards, throwing out old things and reorganising spaces. Which is why I get anxious every time I go into the bathroom I am currently sharing with my friend.

Not only is there not enough room to swing a cat, nor adequate cupboard space for my skincare, it is also the storage room for all his plastic containers, sleeping bag and other assorted knick knacks that could topple off the top of the dryer (which is mounted on the wall) and render me unconscious at any given moment. The only free floor space is in front of the basin, which means getting into the shower requires Lara Croft Tombraider manoeuvres.

For some, the thought of decluttering a disorganised space makes them want to reach for a brown bag to abate a looming panic attack. They get overwhelmed and shut the door and close their eyes, whilst the pile continues to grow out of control, taking on a life of its own.

In order to have a clean and ordered space, you have to get rid of some the stuff. The E=MC2 of interiors is “less clutter = a cleaner space”.

1. To prevent yourself from going into overwhelm, only declutter one room at a time and break it up over a number of days.

2. Get six large moving boxes and label them YES, MAYBE, EBAY, CHARITY, REPAIRS and RUBBISH (make sure you also have some back up boxes, for when they get full). Also buy yourself a beautiful box for NOSTALGIA. Line the boxes up in one corner of the room. If you don’t have the space put them just outside the door.

3. Start with surface clutter first. Just pick a spot and start sorting through it. If you don’t love it, it’s irrepairable or you don’t have a use for it – get rid of it. Place it in the ebay, charity or rubbish box. Once the rubbish box gets full, take it to the outside rubbish bin immediately.

4. Place shoes that need new heels or items that need repairing into the repairs box.

5. If you hesitate, then you don’t love it. I may be ruthless (I have had many friends begging me for mercy over questionable items of clothing), but I also understand the law of feng shui, that states that whenever you throw out something you haven’t used in 5 years, the universe will create a pressing need for it the following day. If you really can’t decide and you don’t want to risk the severity of separation anxiety, put it in the maybe box. See how you feel living without it for a month. If you haven’t missed it, then it can go.

6. If something has special meaning to you from the past and you don’t want to get rid of it, place it in the nostalgia box (yes, you get to keep this one).

7. Once you have finished clearing away the surface clutter, start with your wardrobe and the insides of your draws. Tip the insides of your draws out onto a clean surface to help you sort through it. If you are in a bedroom, placing a sheet over your bed gives you the perfect surface to work from (although be careful not to tip out pens which may leak onto your 10,000 thread count eqyptian cotton sheets).

8. I’m not a believer in throwing something out if you haven’t worn it in 6 months, but if your clothes have stains, holes, don’t make you feel good when you wear them, are not your colour, have bad memories attached to them (i.e you were wearing it the night you first met your bastard of an ex boyfriend) or doesn’t suit your figure shape properly – then it has to go. No questions asked.

9. The day after you have finished organising everything into boxes, be vigilant and get the clutter out of your life. PRONTO. Deliver the stuff to the charity store, drop things in for repair (if you’re like me you have a pile of shoes that need the heels repairing sitting in a pile in the corner of your wardrobe draining money out of your wealth sector), and list everything on eBay.

10. When selling a lot of items on EBay at once, you will need 3 boxes to keep your items listed on eBay under control: LISTED, SOLD and POST. Make sure you list ALL the items at the same time, so that you only have to do one trip to the post office. State on your auction that payment must be received within a specified time frame, otherwise the item will be re-listed. This will also mean only one trip to the post office after the items have sold.

Once you list an item, print the auction listing out and pin it on the item. Write the weight of the item (make sure you have a set of scales handy) on the listing and place it in the listed box. Once the item sells, write sold on it with a red marker and place it in the sold box. Once the buyer has paid for the item, write their address on the auction listing and place it in the post box.

If you’re anything like me, it will take you weeks to post the items and you have to contact the buyer and tell them the dog ate your homework, but you will get it in the next day’s post you promise. You even place the item at your door, so that you can’t forget it when you leave the house, but somehow it sits there gathering dust for weeks on end and tormenting you with guilt every time you see it and realise you STILL haven’t posted it. By the time you buy a gift to put in with the parcel to apologise for being so tardy, and “feebay” take all their fees out (the fee to list it, the commission when it sells, the fee from paypal to accept your money and then the fee to withdraw your money from paypal), the $2 you made from it hardly seems worth the effort.

To avoid bad ebay etiquette, make sure you post your items promptly and when you say you will. Once all your auctions have closed, determine how many express post bags or the size of the parcel boxes you need (you can buy express post bags in bulk) and purchase from the post office. Take them home and fill them out, ready to take straight to the post box or into the post office where necessary. Whatever doesn’t sell can go to charity.

The next post in the interiors series will be on how to make your space work for you, so that clutter will never again control your life.

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