REAL MEN ONLY NEED APPLY: BEWARE OF “THE STUDENT”
I write of many types of different men in my book, but there is one that I would like to warn you about today – The Student. Beware of being the girl who gets the guy ready for the next girl. You know who I’m talking about – the guy you had to conduct a 3 day Intimacy 101 workshop with just to have him function at basic boyfriend level.
The guy who had you banging your head on the wall until it bled. The guy who had you banging your fists on the floor in frustration. The guy who fucked you around so much you didn’t know which way was up or down. The guy who brought you to your knees in pain. After all the blood, sweat and tears, you left him because he had worn you down so much that there was no return, because as much as he confessed his love for you, he was selfish, and had no idea what love really meant.
Well, it’s a mighty tough pill to swallow, when he moves onto the next girlfriend with his shit together and becomes boyfriend of the year. It’s of little comfort, that the only reason he is able to be happy in his next relationship is because of what he learnt from you.
I’d like to say that I wasn’t somewhat bitter with her too, because, after all she is benefiting from the fruits of thy labour. Although, I must confess, I am able to be slightly less bitter towards her, if she isn’t as good looking as me, has a worse job than me or is less fabulous than me. Hideously shallow, but true. However, she is but the innocent party.
If there is one thing I know about the injustice of such a transaction, it is this – he will ALWAYS regret what he lost. He may try to find it in others, but he never will. For you will always be the one that got away, and the next girl, and the girl after that, will only ever pale into insignificance to the love he carelessly threw away. By the time he realises the gravity of the crime he committed, he will be at his lowest low, and you will be at your highest high.
He may seem to have moved on, but nobody really knows what goes on his heart and mind in the quiet moments. Those moments he can’t escape from himself. Those moments where he is alone and memories trickle through the cracks of his conscience – he may push them away with another beer, more work or even another pill, but he can never truly escape it, because one day when he least expects it, it will catch up with him.
I can only speculate on my student, because I now live on the other side of the country from him, and it has been a long time since he committed his crime against thyself. I am one of the lucky ones, because I am a triumphant tale of rising above an unworthy man.
So, let this be a lesson to womankind – stop trying to teach men how to treat you right, because when it all gets too hard for them, they will just end up packing up their crayons and going to play with someone else, and show off how well they can colour in between the lines. But darlings, I don’t know about you, but I’m looking for a Picasso, not a preschooler.
Image source: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/43/93467907_d5ef03c66e.jpg
Unfortunately for some rockin’ chicks out there, dudes have no idea how to conduct themselves in a relationship. It is never, and will never be the responsibility of a partner to teach the other how to behave.
I also think that dudes who aren’t aware of themselves are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. While you’re happy and moved on, he’s probably tormenting some other poor chick who doesn’t deserve his bullshit.
Some guys get it, learn and use it, and some are good at just making the appearance of. The lesson here is – he wasn’t worth the time and effort because he had to be taught. And he didn’t get it. For you. So move on, keep face forward, and when you hear how wonderful he’s being to another woman, how infatuated, giving gifts, great in the sack, turn your timer on. Just a matter of time. If you know how he was, you know how he is. And without great grand attempts at growing more motor neurons in his brain, it ain’t happening. What has happened is that you, the evolved woman, have moved on, and in the future you will be more likely to recognize this self-absorbed narcissistic cretin, and politely step over his bended knee because he has the nerve to think he can seduce you with his wily yet weeny charms.
Or you become entranced with the very handsome loser and do it all over again. Then whine because its happened to you. Again. Its all in how much you learn, and how willing you are to make it stick.