MY SKINNY JEANS ARE BEGGING ME FOR MERCY
Last weekend, I headed out for a night with the girls. The excitement soon subsided when I came face to face with another wardrobe crisis. The occasion definitely called for my skinny jeans, but, alas, I couldn’t get them up over my thighs. AGAIN.
With no other jeans on hand, I had no choice but to try and convince my thighs that they are a size ten. I laid down flat on the floor, and huffed and puffed as I tugged at the waist to get them to button up. After much coercing, breathing in, and sucking in my stomach, I finally got them done up – but it was not a pretty sight. My stomach was was hanging out over the sides – enter a long flowing top. It looked okay to the unknowing eye, but walking with any amount of grace, was an entire another matter.
This was all good, until a few hours later (and 4 vinos later) when I had to go to the toilet. Unzipping them was easy of course – kind of like undoing your bra after a long day, however, I faced a major predicament trying to do my jeans back up.
There was no room to lay flat on the floor (and let’s face it, who in their right mind is going to lay themselves flat on a toilet floor?), so I had to try and lean diagonally across the toilet and the wall. 1-2-3 *squeeeeeeeeeze*. Fuck! Okay. 1-2-3 *squeeeeeeeze*. After much cajoling, coercing and swearing, I FINALLY managed to get them back up. I, of course strutted out from the toilets in my usual fabulous manner, but I can’t deny, my thighs were not feeling anywhere near as fabulous.
Not wanting to face another night of thigh related trauma, I spent the next day determined to overcome my weight, once and for all. Operation Bringing Sexy Back – Day 1. Now, under no circumstances do I think that I can’t be fabulous in a bigger pair of jeans, nor do I want to be a size zero, but we all have a weight that we feel best at, and more importantly I want to be healthy. I also see how much energy is consumed when we are overweight, and how when we are living a healthy lifestyle and at the weight our bodies are meant to be, then that energy could then be channeled into moving forward in other areas of our life.
I’m an intelligent woman. I know that exercising regularly and eating well is what I need to do. But no matter how much I exercise, or how well I eat, I need to look deeper, because what I weigh on the scales right now is really a reflection of how I feel about myself and my sub conscious beliefs.
It seems when good things start to happen in my life, I sub consciously push the self destruct button, and I am powerless to stop it. No matter what I tell myself, I can’t stop engaging in self destructive behaviours. I hit brick walls within myself, and no matter how hard I try to consciously push through them, I find myself procrastinating, drinking too much and eating crap. Then I resolve to start another health kick, and the whole crazy cycle starts again.
So, the question is, how do I unlock the parts of me that are holding me back from having what I want in life? How do I unstack those bricks, one by one? Because I want to move towards a different life. A life where I can not only fit into my jeans, but a life of wealth. A life of happiness. A life of greater ease. Because I deserve it.
It’s not that I’m not happy, because I am. I have many wonderful things in my life, but, I am reaching for something more. I am trying to reprogram myself, but when I change the channel, all I get is the test pattern or re-runs of Mash. I’m looking for a book deal, my own apartment, but the TV guide says at 7:00pm I’m in for struggle, followed by not being able to pay my bills at 8:00pm.
It’s obvious that I need to have a heart-to-heart with my sub conscious. I need to sit it down and say listen here, you’ve been telling me my whole life that I’m not worthy, but I’m onto you. I’m sick of you holding me back and selling me short. You’re nothing but a big fat liar and you should be worried, really worried, when I tell you that your days are numbered, because I’m bringing in reinforcements.
I’ve spent enough time listening to what you’ve got to say, and quite frankly I’ve had enough. I’ve spent hours in counselling with you, trying to be reasonable and understanding, listening to you list all the reasons I do the things I do, why I attract certain people in my life and yada, yada, yada.
Now, with the help of a hypnotherapist, I’m going to be calling the shots from now on. So pack your bags and clear out. I’m going to have the life I want. The life I deserve. And I’m going to look god damn fabulous in my skinny jeans whilst I’m at. Because I can.
I swear everything I read here i can nearly always relate to, and is guaranteed to make me feel a little better about myself.
Loves it
Thank you Teegs – it’s fabulous to have you as a loyal reader!
Amen sister! I too am battling with my jeans. They have been hating me for months now and I will conquer them eventually. I have turned to tuna salad and Zumba for guidance.
Kimberley – how is the Zumba going? I have always wondered what it would be like? I think the guy who leads it, would annoy the hell out of me after a while. Sending you support in regaining control over those jeans! G x
I love this piece of writing. I feel like someone just opened up my mind and laid it flat out for everyone to see. It is what goes through my thoughts every second of every day and it makes me feel a little better knowing that I am not the only one!!!
So glad you could relate to it Juanita! You are not alone darling – Skinny Jeans here we come! Hurah
I love your attitude, mindset, and direction. I love that you know you deserve it and will do what ever is in your power to get there. I love that you have said what most women think, but are too afraid to truly believe.
This sounds so wrong… but sometimes it’s nice to hear that someone else can’t fit in their jeans too – we all know deep down it happens to pretty much everyone, but no one ever admits it, and lets face it, when it does happen, we are only ever thinking of ourselves lol.
Good on you, and thank you!
xo
Rebecca – thank you so much for your fabulous encouragement. This is the whole reason I write – so that others may find inspiration and understanding. I am actually a very private person, although you’d never know from what i write on my blog, but it doesn’t do my writing or my readers any favours if I hold back. I like to be real, because it helps liberate other women going through the same thing. Love your work
I’m 100% certain you’d look gorgeous at any size, but I think every woman who reads this will understand the “joy” of maintaining their ideal weight throughout life. Skinny jeans definitely keep us on our toes… there’s no hiding an extra kilo or so in them
And I’m so glad you didn’t take the lying-on-the-toilet-floor option. My faith in you as a glamour icon remains unshaken.
Oh Bee, I am so glad to hear that my crown as the Glamour Queen is firmly in tact. *phew*
Hi Girl:)
I really enjoyed that …your writing is very good:)
The truth is no one else can change your life but you…and that is the hard truth:)
I have never been really overweight, but i could have been…i like food…like any other normal girl…
I think the trick is to walk everywhere…like the French:)
Eat until you are full,but not over full, drink plenty of water, and have some to push you….
This is not a shameless trick to promote my own blog:)…but over at Soulprincess – we are four bloggers that comment, and update on our own gym progress..you are more then welcome:)
Have a nice day – and keep up with your plan….and those skinny jeans will be yours in no time:)
SP
Soul Princess – darling, you are always welcome to mention your blog here. I will definitely be following the four of you on your blog, and will also be making a special guest appearance soon too
Yes, I love French women’s approach – although I already walk everywhere. It’s all common sense isn’t it really? Must start drinking more water and start enjoying some lovely walks in the afternoon. Those skinny jeans will be mine!
Hi
Looking forward to your guest post:)
Yes it is quite common sense about the walking….
Heading out for an hour walk now…
Are you joining me????
I have some skinny jeans that would really like it if i could loose a some pounds as well….i am joining you:)
Those skinny jeans will be ours:)
SP
So, this is to say i am not a BIG fat liar:)
Just got home from a 45 min run:)
Have a good day Miss G:)
sp
I love the look of skinny jeans (although I must admit that I am a little nervous with the thought of jumping – literally jumping to get them up – after several months break due to the warm & humid Brisbane weather ) . HOWEVER, I believe the makers of skinny jeans could learn one thing or two from maternity jeans. Now before all you stylish women keel over in horror – take a moment and think about skinny jeans right up to your hips or higher depending on how you like to wear your jeans and then & stretchy section over your waist & tummy (and added bonus could be that the stretchy material can also double as a suck it all in feature). I know it sounds incredibly daggy but very practical (a quality that as I mature I tend to hold in a higher regard in my wardrobe purchases). Think of the benefits ……. My cousin who is more on the curvaceous side donned a pair of white jeans the other day with a wide stretchy waist – they looked great – I would have liked to try a pair on but she bought them from a shop that start at size 14 which doesn’t work for me at all. Anyway tomorrow I am taking my skinny jeans to the dressmaker to see if she can work her magic and turn this staple of my wardrobe into something that is more practical & less stress provoking to wear!!
Now Jo, this is the definition of savvy! Love your work
Keep me posted on the alterations – and let’s not mock the maternity store. Just quietly someone let me some stretchy three quarter capris and they were the most fabulous looking and comfortable pants I had ever wore (they had a folder over band at the waist). They looked uber stylish, and I found out they were from the maternity store! SOLD.
This is the best blog, i’ve ever seen, bookmarked