SOMETIMES I FALL IN A HEAP
I have moved into my fabulous new abode and settling in well (my flatmate is fabulous and I think she is the bees knees). However my schedule is hammering me at the moment – I am “right up against it” as Kath would say. I am woken up every morning by a mind that runs lists of all the things I have to do and a churning stomach.
I am one of those people who is often too hard on themselves. Pushing myself too hard for too long and then wondering why I hit a wall and fall in an exhausted heap. I took a holiday to Perth this month, and it was the most special time with my family and friends, but it was busy, very busy. Upon returning home I have moved and have a relentless in tray that is demanding attention. An intray that no matter how much I beg for mercy from, wraps itself around me like an octopuses’ tentacles and squeezes the life out of me.
I realised when I came back from Perth, that I needed to make some changes so that I could have more balance in my life – and I have. However, I am still transitioning, and I find myself in between my old hectic life and the new calmer, better paced life. In order to get there, I have loose ends to tie up, and things I have to do.
When I write down everything I have on my plate, along with everything I have done in the past month, it becomes blaringly obvious why I feel like I am pushing myself with every last ounce of strength to get through the week. Anyone would collapse under that kind of load.
Lists are my best friend in times of pressure. They calm me, because everything that was swirling through my brain is now on paper. It frees me somehow, and instills a sense of control. I look at them, and reevaluate what must be done, what can wait and what I can do to make my life easier. My to do list seems to relinquish its power over me, for I once again feel in control of it, instead of it running me ragged and pulling me in a million different directions.
Today I slotted all the things I have to do into my calendar. Gave them a date. Took them out of my present, and placed them into my future, so that I can once again breathe easy, and know that, yes they will be taken care of, but in my own good time. My shoulders still feel tense, as though they are carrying the weight of the world on them, but they are definitely loosening. I am slowly breathing out sighs of relief, bringing myself back to where I am and what I can do today, and that is all I really need to be focusing on.
My weekend is booked out. Booked out by me and a serious appointment with my Marian Keyes novel. It’s time for some good old fashioned rest, because unless I push pause, I will be no good to anyone. I vow to keep moving forward with balance as my mantra. I vow to stop taking on so much and trying to do everything for everyone at the expense of myself. Because I love my life. I love my work, I love my writing and I love the people that are in it, and I want more time to devote to those things without feeling like I am trying to hold up a wall of a flooding dam.
Yes, I think it’s time to book myself into a day spa for some pure unadulterated, completely indulgent me time.
Glad to hear that you’re taking care of yourself lovely. Enjoy your weekend of indulgence and a big round of applause for giving yourself a well deserved break! x
Thanks Kimberley – the weekend off did my the world of good, and I am now back on top of things
I know the feeling! We had a speaker called Andrew May come to a work conference about 2 years ago. He was amazing. He taught us how to balance it all and feel human again. He has an awesome book out called Flip The Switch- highly recommended if you need to know some great strategies for that work/life balance.
Jess, I must look this book up. Sounds fab!
I had to scroll up the page and check your picture then, you sound like you’re writing this for my daughter! I wish though that she would pull the things from the present and give herself a little breathing space by giving them a date in the future. Today saw her body ‘push pause’ for her, as she obviously wasn’t going to, the flu has knocked her for six and she spent the day in bed with a book and the cat.
I hope your daughter is feeling better
Yes, some of us don’t seem to have a stop button, and only ever end up stopping when it’s too late. I am learning.
Change is a transition – pace yourself through this process and accept where you are each day. That is what I love about yoga the process encourages acceptance of where you are at and an acknowldegment that each day or moment will be different. (When I get more time, I am going to do more yoga – the irony is not lost on me)
Enjoy your R & R.
Thanks Jo! Yes, I love yoga for the same reasons. I am also like you enjoying the Mind Gardener series. Like you said, change takes time, but I am making good progress. One must be patient with a habit that has been with me for a lifetime. I am really appreciating my R&R now, and implementing it into my daily life, and can see the benefits of this – finally. Sometimes less really is more!
Hi:)
Loved what you wrote…like any other time.
I think this is what i will do as well…
Calm down, relax, have a day off work tomorrrow…and just read my book Shantaram…
As always lovely work:)
Have a great day – SP
Bonjour darling – how lovely to hear from you again. My friend raves about Shantaram – hope you have enjoyed it as much. Feeling tippety tops since my weekend off, can see clearly and implementing the changes I have needed to make for some time. No more burn out for me – fingers crossed
Scheduling is a great stress relief…. I would be a complete basketcase if it weren’t for my diary. I have been in the same position for weeks and have finally put my foot down and going to put myself first for once (getting my hair, nails and eyebrows done in the city on monday).
Enjoy your weekend x
well said. I am trying to commit to: “Self-Care Sundays” at the moment.
PS. Is there a new Marian Keyes novel?
Hi Rikki, No, not a new MK novel, I am re reading my back catalogues from her early days. “Self Care Sundays” sound divine!
I can totally relate to all of this! Lists are wonderful,and according to my therapist my mind won’t stop racing,because I’m always thinking ahead of all the stuff I have to do.His advice? Write it all down to get it out of your head,live in the present and deal with the immediate stressors. Hope that helps xxx
Go the lists Brooke! Yes, write it all down, and get back to the present