At the moment, I’ve fallen head over my manolos for romancing my everyday. Think lighting candles, beautiful soaps in the shower and having flowers on my desk. And if there’s one love I’ve got a particular affection for, it’s MOR Cosmetics. But, then again that’s no secret, with me worshipping their boudoir packaging and uber quality products regularly here on The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide.

Their pomegranate candle is currently dispensing its divine fragrance with its heart of of violet and jasmine as my manicured nails fly over my keyboard in a flurry. Available at select Target stores for $15 with a 35 hour burning time, it’s an absolute steal I say, a steal.

I’m also greeted by MOR’s snow gardenia hand and body wash beautifully adorning my bathroom, beckoning me to wash my hands. Enriched with shea butter, soybean & macadamia nut, it leaves my hands soft to the touch and its exotic and enchanting scent lingers lovingly on my body after showering. Swoon!

KMS MOIST REPAIR

My darling hairdresser is currently weeping into her weeties and sobbing into her sauvignon blanc after I did the unthinkable. I dyed my hair with supermarket packet colour. Needless to say, its left my hair like straw so I’ve needed some serious moisture to return my locks to their former glory.

Hello KMS Moisture Therapy. With each shampoo my hair not only felt thoroughly cleansed, but also soft – and that’s even before I lovingly tended to it with the treatment. Upon conditioning my hair with the uber luxe moisturising treatment, my hair seemed to transform itself and ran through my hands like silk as I washed it out. Not a tangle in sight.

If that wasn’t enough, their Moist Repair leave in conditioner, ensured that when my hair dried it was super conditioned. That surely is because of the vanilla and aloe which replenishes lost moisture whilst also repairing damage. S.O.L.D. Sold.

BABYLISS PRO CERAMIC HOT AIR STYLER

Let’s get one thing straight. I adore good hair days. In fact, I live for them. Because as you may know, I believe the quality of your life is dictated by the quality of your hair. However, I am constantly at odds with my penchant for sleep and snoozing my alarm, rather than bouncing of bed to spend the 40 minutes or so it takes to tame my unruly not quite straight, not quite curly hair. Failure to commit to this hair care regime, results in a loss of moxy. Because if my hair isn’t right, then I’m not right.

Enter Babyliss PRO to save the day. Instead of having to wield a hairdryer and a brush with both arms in the hideously ungodly hours of the morning, this little baby does it all so you can dangle a toothbrush in your mouth whilst also waiting for the kettle to boil for your daily injection of caffeine.

A hairdryer and brush in one, it smooths your hair and also injects it with volume, bounce and body. The ceramic coating also smooths any frizz resulting in a smooth and super sleek look. This little baby is also perfect for touching up a blowdry that is a few days old, so that you can continue to crack on into the week with fabulous hair.

ILLAMASQUA

Touted as makeup for your alter ego, Illamasqua’s ‘faux paus’ matte violet nail polish sure will bring out the temptress in you. Rich and bold, this long wearing, chip proof formula is the perfect polish to strut out and make a statement with on the city streets at night. Seductively wrap your nails around a gin and tonic in a smokey lounge bar, whilst captivating and enchanting your male suitor.

For even more of an after-dark edge, smooth Illumine Oil over your skin for a shimmering and radiant finish, that no man will miss as you sashay your way through a crowd. Silky smooth to the touch, he will be powerless to resist your feminine wiles as you softly whisper sweet nothings into his ear.

You saucy mix, you.

PLUMP UP THE VOLUME WITH REVLON

If you were to ask me the classic desert island question, I’d struggle to whittle down my list to three items. Lip gloss, SPF, fake tan and bikinis would all vie for my attention, but there’s one product I could definitely not live without when stranded on a remote island in the Bahamas (well, I’m hoping my raft would end up there in such case I ever found myself navigating perilous waters). And that’s mascara.

So as a mascara afficionado, I’ve been trialling two of Revlon’s latest mascaras to hit the market. Grow Luscious Plumping Mascara does everything its name suggests. It’s as though they curl and grow before my very eyes (try it one eye and see the difference for yourself). Not only that, they appear voluptuously volumised. Thick and long. We like that.

Revlon’s Custom Eyes provides your peepers with two different options, all in one trusty wand. Twist the cap in one direction for length and definition, and twist the other way for length and drama. Considering the limited space when your cosmetics are jossling for a space in your handbag, this is a multi purpose mascara that is not only functional, but also fabulous.

DERMALOGICA

You know you’re onto a good thing when your BF asks, “What was that you used in the shower? That smells really nice”. “Oh, that’s my Dermalogica exfoliating body scrub darling- it’s the business, isn’t it?”

Infused with lavender, sandalwood, orange and rosemary, it’s the perfect start to my day to energise my senses (remember how I was banging on before about not being a morning person?). As always, this Dermalogica product is ever so kind to my skin, exfoliating and smoothing it without scratching or harming it. That’s thanks to super fine olive, date seed and fruit fig powders. Not only is it a divine way to start your day, it’s also fabulous for preparing your skin for fake tan.

Whilst we’re on the subject, if you have delicate skin like me you’ll also have trouble with harsh exfoliators on your face. Which is why I’m declaring my unadulterated affection for Dermalogica’s Gentle Cream Exfoliant. It contains non-abrasive hydroxy acids, which means there’s no harsh nut shells to damage your complexion. More like a face mask, you lovingly lavish your skin with this cream and after ten minutes you wash it off, and hey presto, it removes dull skin and dead skin cells to reveal a fresh new face.

COSMEDIX

If you’re looking for a cosmeseutical range of products with active ingredients to turn back the signs of ageing, then look no further than Cosmedix. This month I’ve been mixing their pure C crystals with their Emulsion Intense Hydrator with noticeable results. My skin feels smoother and re-texturised, and looks much brighter.

The hydrator is power packed with jojoba oil and shea butter within a unique crystal formulation. Infuse that with with their pure vitamin C  powder and you not only have intensely moisturised skin, you’re also protected from free radical damage. This potent formula is your secret weapon against wrinkles, sun damaged skin and pigmentation.

FAKE TAN SUPERHEROES

Stuck for a Valentines’ gift idea for your man? No time to go shopping? Well, The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide has got your cupid’s ass covered. Here are some fabulous ideas that are all available online. Just get your manicured nails at the ready and clickety click on the purple links. Easy. We like that.

1. iPad 2 from Vodafone

2. Steve Jobs autobiography $17.49 on Amazon.

3. iTunes voucher from the Apple store

4. iPhone 4 with Siri from Vodafone

5. Books from Book Depository (free worldwide shipping)

6. Discounted books from Amazon.

7. Personalised Valentine’s Day cards from Moonpig. Only $5.95, printed and posted the same day.

8. Buy a Wine Selectors subscription and have wine sent straight to his door.

9. Magazine subscription from iSubscribe.

10. Choose from over 2500 unique experiences from RedBalloon.

11. A giftcard from Westfield. or shop their 100 online stores with free delivery.

12. Get him a DVD subscription from Quickflix (with the first month free).

13. Clinique For Men

14. Ben Sherman shorts

15. Calvin Klein Underwear

16. Wallet from Saba

17. Tie from Saba

18. Redken for Men haircare at discounted prices

19. View the complete Saba for Men collection

I love Laura Valerie’s writing over at One April Morning. It’s soulful. It resonates. It’s utterly beautiful. She wrote a gorgeous and insightful article for The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide last year, called The Perfection of Ordinariness, and has since followed it up with From Here I Can Watch The World.

Her thoughts had me ponder my own striving. In striving to live a fabulous life, have I actually been missing the remarkability of the every day in front of me? Dismissing each day in favour of the future. Disregarding the beauty of the present. Deeply dishonouring the precious gift that it is to be given another day of life.

Yes, I want a book deal. BAD. I want to get out of this cramped shared apartment. I want a new job. Things I strive for because I deserve them. Now, I don’t want a book deal for fame (heaven forbid that my cellulite would end up on the cover of Woman’s Day or in a stars without their makeup expose) and it’s okay to want to change your circumstances, but, I realise that wrapped in my striving is a part of me that is rejecting ordinariness. As though if I capitulate to it, then I am losing myself. Giving up on my dreams. Accepting mediocrity. Settling.

Perfecting ordinariness isn’t about being mundane or losing your spirit. It’s about romancing the every day. Drinking tea out of beautiful french cups. Putting flowers on your desk. Decorating the dinner table. Showering with gardenia fragranced soap. Lighting candles. The smell of oriental lilies wafting through the house. Swimming in the ocean. Relaxing more. In fact it’s about injecting more of your personality and spirit into your life. Just because it’s ordinary doesn’t mean it can’t be luxurious.

But, how do I perfect ordinariness whilst still honouring my dreams? How do I live in the moment whilst also progressing towards what I want?  It’s letting go of the striving that has you beat yourself with a stick to work more, to get better, to get more and to be more. It’s letting your heart guide you and moving more gracefully towards your dreams. Enjoying what you do. Honouring every day along the way.

How are you going to romance the every day in 2012?

Image Credit: 1 2

For those of us who have visited or lived in the UK, we all know a number of things:

1. Standing on the right side of the elevator in the underground is a crime punishable by death.

2. Sharing an apartment with 13 other people in London will cost you more per month than the Italian national debt.

3. Marks and Spencer’s fabulous food hall is the only place to shop for gourmet take home meals.

But, there are so many more reasons why Marks and Spencer (or ‘Marks and Sparks’ as it is affectionately known) is an institution in the United Kingdom. Think exclusive designers like Conran tailoring homewares for the high street, style experts keeping you abreast of key fashion trends and new season must haves, tips from wine connoisseurs on M&S TV and sublime recipe ideas to bring out the Nigella in you.

For those of you in the UK, well I have to say is – you lucky doers. Because you can not only swan in and out of their stores, but you can also shop online with free UK delivery for orders over 30 pounds.

Do not fret, for those of you have returned to the motherland after years of living in the UK and are still pining for Marks and Spencer, you can still order from them online and keep abreast of the latest in UK fashions, homewares, gifts and sale items. Because we may not miss jostling for a spot on the train as though the carriage contained a sandwich and none of the passengers had eaten for a month, but we sure do miss the cutting edge designs and clothing.

Or, you can send your friends gifts overseas without having to pay exorbitant amounts in postage and the hassle of worrying whether your parcel will get through customs in one piece. M&S deliver to 80 international destinations, making it quick and easy to send a gift abroad to loved ones from Marks & Spencer.

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching on February 14th, why not I say I love you by sending flowers, chocolates or gifts from Marks and Spencer?

Click here to visit the range of Valentine’s gifts and flowers on offer from Marks & Spencer.

Click here for delivery information within the UK.

Click here for delivery information for international deliveries.

First Published in Onya Magazine, January 12 2012

When seeking a bar destination in Sydney, it’s not often that you have to go off the beaten track – for there are a myriad of bars on the city streets that you can traipse into with your Manolo Blahniks and order a gin and tonic. But, if you’re searching for something different, something that beckons you away from the bright city lights with its style, sophistication and substance, then I suggest you seek out the award winning Eau De Vie, hidden at the back of the Kirketon Hotel in Darlinghurst.

The owners describe Eau-de-Vie as an intimate, dimly lit, jazz infused speakeasy created for the discerning bon vivant, that transports it guests back to a forgotten era where great service, cocktails, tommy guns and good times were king. Our Hendricks Tea Party was no exception. Served in high tea style in a Victorian tea pot, myself and my guests were treated to a gin cocktail inspired by the owner’s time from their summer in London. Not only were our drinks expertly mixed by Barry our bartender, we were also impressed with the smooth and seamless service, sumptuous lounges and paramount dedication to quality. Nothing was too much trouble.

Read the full article in Onya Magazine.

By Steph Little

“Ever wondered what really goes on behind the slick facade of the PR world? Strictly Confidential will knock your Manolos off!” Gemma Crisp, Editor of Cleo

Strictly Confidential is the hot debut novel from Sweaty Betty PR founder and Sydney socialite Roxy Jacenko. It’s a fun, fresh read that lifts the lid on the inner secrets of the PR world – the good, the bad, and the downright glamorous.

Jasmine Lewis is a smart young publicist at Wilderstein PR in Sydney. Desperate to get her foot firmly on the PR worlds’ cutthroat career ladder, Jazzy Lou (as she’s known) does the office coffee runs, the 5am starts and even her crazy boss Diane Wilderstein’s dry-cleaning pickups. So far, so Devil Wears Prada.

Then one morning Jazzy Lou gets a 3.30am wake up call – superstar client Raven has fallen off the wagon in a Kings Cross nightclub, there are paparazzi clamouring over each other to get a picture of the star and it’s down to Jazzy Lou to clean up the situation, whatever it takes. But the next morning she’s summoned into Diane’s office and her PR dream is over. Or is it?

Luckily for Jazzy Lou, events conspire to help her pick up the pieces and set up her own PR agency, Queen Bee PR. But even then a whole new world of nightmares get in the way: impossible clients; man trouble; dangerously high stress levels and an unexpected stint in hospital; deceptive employees and even more deceptive former bosses.

Following a monumental PR disaster at the Coco Man of the Year Awards, Jazzy Lou has one last chance to pull things together at Australian Fashion Week. Can she save the day, her career and her reputation?

Now let’s be clear – this book isn’t going to win any literature prizes. It’s full of stereotypes and clichés, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to predict exactly how the plot is going to pan out. But the characters are good fun and if you’re interested in the fashion world you’ll get a kick out of the glamorous setting.

The book also delivers on its promise of being a fun, fast read, absolutely jam-packed full of gossip. And sometimes in life, we all need a book like this. If you’re able to get over the slightly annoying ‘PR’ dialogue being thrown around all over the place (OMG! Dah-ling! That’s amaze!) there’s much fun to be had guessing which of the stories are true and which of the celebrities are based on real-life clients at Sweaty Betty PR.

And it’s impossible not to draw the comparisons between Jazzy-Lou and Roxy Jacenko herself: the high-flying career and cutthroat business tactics, the high profile boyfriend and the enviable designer wardrobe.

Strictly Confidential is the perfect light entertainment for fans of Gossip Girl and Sex and the City.  And stay tuned for a rumoured reality TV show set in the Sweaty Betty offices!

Available to buy now, $24.99. Also available on Kindle, $9.99

By Gaynor Alder

First Published in Onya Magazine, 28 December 2011

As a former beauty editor of another magazine, and firm believer in the quality of your life being dictated by the quality of your hair, it won’t come as any surprise that I’m a tough crowd when it comes to wholeheartedly placing my trust in a hairdresser. But I wasn’t left with much choice upon running down Sydney Road in Brunswick whilst hyperventilating into a brown paper bag in search of a hairdresser who could tame my tresses prior to a television debut. Enter Sara Jade Hairdressing. It was a decision I wasn’t to regret.

Of course, in the midst of said crisis I had my friends on speed dial who all reassured me that Audrey Hepburn was on my side. Not only did Sara have images of Audrey throughout her stylish and glamourous salon draped with chandeliers and damask wallpaper, she immediately made me feel at ease by organising me a vintage inspired designer dress from Rubie Patootie, a professional make up artist and a glass of wine with the click of her fingers. Needless to say when she proceeded to place a book entitled, ‘What Would Audrey Do Now’ in front of me, I knew my prayers for hair nirvana had been answered and that I was in good hands.

Her expertise combined with an uncanny intuition for exactly what I wanted not only transformed my unruly tresses to those worthy of prime time television, but also left me bouncing out of her beautiful salon with a smile on my face and feeling good within and outside of myself – a rare skill indeed. It’s for this very reason that I placed the future of my hair in her capable hands, and since she’s been lovingly tending to my locks my hair has never looked better. For what Sara doesn’t know about hair isn’t worth knowing.

The same determination that saw her walk again post an accident that left her in a wheelchair is the same determination that has seen her scale the heights of the hairdressing industry. Combine this with her undoubted expertise, unbridled passion for hair, meticulous attention to detail and commitment to the customer experience, and it’s no surprise that she’s not only running her own salon but was also selected to work at Melbourne Fashion Week.

With over 15 years experience within the hair and beauty industry, having worked and trained with some of the most talented hairdressers in the world, Sara Jade can offer you expert hairdressing along with professional beauty and makeup services.

Sara Jade Hairdressing

Shop 19/459 Sydney Road, Mariana Hardwick Building, Brunswick VIC 3056

(03) 9388 1322

Rubie Patootie

Shop 14, Sparta Place, 459 Sydney Road, Brunswick VIC 3056

(03) 9388 0497

MISSING PERSONS REPORT – GAYNOR ALDER

• Sporting hair on my legs that of a creature from the Amazon Jungle in the absence of being seen to daily with my a trusty gillette
• A hair emergency requiring a 000 call to my hairdresser
• Chipped and worn nail polish that would make Betty Draper have a litter of kittens
• No one hearing hide nor hair from me on the airwaves or online. Please do not contact emergency services if you have left messages on my phone and I have not replied. Yes, I am still alive.
• A constant state of anxiousness that I am a crap friend re the above
• A crisis of confidence as to whether I will be able to sustain myself financially as a writer – as though the missing piece of the puzzle fell under the table and either the dog ate it or mum hoovered it up in a cleaning rampage
• Fatigue that had me looking around at everyone whilst nursing a glass of Berocca wondering whether they were taking lines of speed every morning. Sometimes I plain just couldn’t keep up.

First Published in The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide on November 27, 2010.

By Gaynor Alder

Mothers everywhere, please let it be known – I’m in awe of you. Do tell me, how do you do it? I’ve been working full time this week and my niece is over from Perth with my parents – and I wonder to myself, how the feck does any woman do this motherhood malarkey with any amount of aplomb or grace?

I must confess. I used to judge those mothers at shopping centres, pushing their trolleys wearing tracksuit pants and sporting disheveled hair that looked like it was in good need of some frizz serum. Now I think they deserve a medal for just managing to have enough energy to be even pushing a trolley.

Like right now. I’m typing this with my niece wriggling around on my lap. We’ve spent the day shopping, and I’ve come to understand that shopping and children are mutually exclusive – to the point I abandoned a Country Road outlet with already discounted prices at 50% off.

I’m exhausted (hence why you’ve heard hide nor hair from me this week). Yet, when my seven year old niece turns to me and says, “aunty Gaynor, you’re the best aunty a kid could ever want, because you do art activities with me, buy me things and love me nice”, I get it. No matter how tired you are, this is the reason you do it all. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year.

You women who do this all the time, seriously, you deserve some kind of award. From what I can gather you seem to constantly run on empty, whilst working, running a home, spending quality time with your children and then trying to look after yourself. I get the tracksuit pants. I get the frizzy hair. I promise never to judge again.

As much as I love my niece (and let it be known she is the love of my live, my very reason for being) I don’t have the maternal urge. People constantly tell me that I’ll change my mind, because I’m so good with children and I’ll make a wonderful mother, but I just don’t feel it, nor do I think I’d be any chop at it.

I am at peace with that decision, even if my Dad isn’t, who I know desperately wants me to have children, and keeps telling me that I’ll end up lonely and regretful if I don’t. But I accept my limitations and I can’t live my life to make someone else happy.

Yes, I love being an aunty, but I just can’t see me being a full time mother, and that is okay. Actually it’s more than okay, because as Liz Gilbert writes in her second book Committed, being an aunty is a very special role, not only in a child’s life, but also for the mother when the aunty is able to step in and contribute something to a child’s life that a tired and exhausted mother may not always be able to.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to paint a picture of motherhood as one of complete sacrifice and recipe for fatigue, because I know some mothers who seem to take to it like ducks to water, and absolutely relish in it. But, I don’t believe I am that woman. Well, definitely not now, and at 34 years, I can’t see that changing in the foreseeable future. Then again, I could do a Nicole Kidman at 39 and change my mind, but a nanny and a cleaner sure wouldn’t go astray.

But, you mothers who are bringing up children, I think you need more praise. You need to be recognised more. Not just with breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day, but every day. Because you freaking amazing women day in and day out, who do what many may consider the normal every day acts of life, in my book are heroes. Let it be known, that I’m in awe of you.

Nina from The Proper Lady has a thing or two to say about what it means to be a proper lady in our modern times. And whilst she loves white gloves and pearls, it’s more about what you cultivate from the inside and how you treat others. – Ed.

Throughout my time writing The Proper Lady, I’ve gotten emails from women who seem to believe that one needs to live like a Victorian in order to be a lady. This may be true on certain sites that discuss how to be ladylike, but not mine. There are some traditional values that I admire and embrace, such as my role as the pillar of the family, however I feel that it’s unreasonable (and silly) to hold onto all traditional values in a modern world. One needs to adapt to the changing times. After all, a lady (at least on my blog) is more than elegant and well mannered. She’s also smart with a healthy dollop of common sense.

So what does it mean to be a 21^st century lady? The first time someone described me as a “lady,” I was sixteen years old and volunteering in a museum. “You’re a young lady,” the security guard said to me. At the time, I wasn’t so sure about how to take his comment because I also viewed ladies as wearing white gloves, being prudes, and having way too much time and money on their hands. I soon realised that I had in mind what being a lady meant in the 1950s, and not in the 21^st century.

Certain traits will always remain ladylike, no matter the century. They are timeless, just like a lady is. Those traits are kindness, dignity and virtue, and intelligence.

I believe that the amount of kindness and consideration for the feelings of others a woman possesses is the greatest measure of how much of a lady she is. A lady thinks about others and how they may feel before she acts.

She has consideration for those around her and does not want to do anything that may hurt them: she thinks about others and aims to make people feel better about themselves and about where they come from. Her aim is to make her friends feel cared for, to make strangers feel welcome, and to make her romantic partner feel respected.

A lady also has a sense of dignity and virtue. What does this mean? This means that she has self-respect, self-confidence and she acts like a woman of value.

My personal view on sex is that it is no one’s business but your own (and your partner’s). I personally take a more traditional stance, but I respect those who do not share my beliefs.

Although kindness is crucial to being a modern lady, I also feel that if a lady is wronged, she will politely put the person in their place. It’s not rudeness if the other person is being cruel; it’s justice and self-respect. Not only would a lady be respectful of other people and of their belongings, but also she will restrain those who aren’t.

I also feel that it is very important for the modern lady to be intelligent. A modern lady will read newspapers (or news sites), she will read non-fiction, and she will make herself well informed. She will be aware of world events, of what is going on domestically and abroad, and of the world’s crucial historical events.

A modern lady will be knowledgeable enough to stand on her own two feet, to be independent, and to be intelligent enough to hold a conversation, however she will also understand that there is an appropriate time and way to display her knowledge and academic accomplishments and that there is also an inappropriate time and way to display her opinion.

Being a lady isn’t a defenestrated concept. Ladies will always be present and always be respected by both men and women for their grace, their dignity, their consideration, their compassion, and their intelligence.

However the modern lady has a greater place in this world than the ladies of a bygone era. She not only understands the modern society that she lives in, but she understands her role in it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The Proper Lady is where Nina records her studies on being classical, elegant, lovely, generous, kind, warm, feminine, charitable, cultured, knowledgeable, and worldly.

http://theproperlady.blogspot.com/

In my mid 20s, I learnt the art of boundaries. Just because I was a generous of heart and all round nice girl, that didn’t mean that I had to like everyone, nor take on their problems. By the time I was 28, I had a strict VIP entry only policy. Sure there were plenty of nice people out there, but you had to be special, really special, for me to extend the full extent of friendship to you. I learnt not to feel bad about it, because being somewhat selfish was a good thing, contrary to what we are told.

However, after one bad relationship where I was stripped of my self esteem, and a few questionable friendships where I witnessed the extreme end of selfishness, I became all Mother Theresa taking on everyone’s problems and dispensing advice without being discerning enough as to whether there was a proper foundation of friendship.

This led to me being done over a few times and being sucked up in the vortex of other people’s neediness. Yes, you’re a really nice person, but I’m sorry, I can’t fix ALL your problems for you. You need to do that for YOURSELF, especially when your problems are the complete topic of conversation. There needs to be more to friendship than just problems.

So, of late, I have been thinking about bringing back the part of me that isn’t always nice. Please, do let me explain. By nature, I am a giving, caring, good person. However, sometimes people don’t respect nice. They walk all over you. Trample you. Ignore you. Drain you. This by no means, means that I am going to start being a bitch. It just means that people will start to see the other side of me again.

The side that takes no crap. The side that knows someone being “nice” doesn’t necessarily constitute a friendship. The side that draws a line in the sand and says, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to offer you advice unless you are one of my close friends. The side that says you’re not going to be part of my life unless I want you to be.

Too many women end up exhausted and depleted, because they are spreading themselves too thin. Spreading themselves too thin helping people who should be helping themselves. Spreading themselves too thin by being too nice to everyone. Spreading themselves too thin by saying yes too often. It’s never easy turning someone away or saying no, however, when you start to focus what you want from life, really want from life, it becomes very apparent what is holding you back and needs to go.

It’s VIP entry onto my red carpet. Even then, you can’t expect to go straight to the velvet lounges of VIP – we need to have a few drinks in the downstairs bar to get to know each other first, and please, a few gin and tonics doesn’t necessarily mean we are BFFs. Yes, I genuinely feel bad when I can’t always pursue a friendship, but it’s not where I make my decision from. Because I can’t – otherwise I would be living my life from what people wanted from me, instead of what I wanted from life.

Just because I am a nice person, don’t think that I am going to let you behind the red rope straight away. Don’t think you can fuck me around. Don’t think that you can dump all your problems on me. Don’t think you can take me for granted. Because you can’t. There is a bouncer at the end of my red carpet, and I have no qualms in raising my hand in the air and pointing at you if you have not respected me, you have been too pushy or have drained me.

I need to remind people of that, because like I said before, sometimes I’m too nice.

Image source

By Gaynor Alder

We interrupt our holiday popular posts transmission to bring you this brand spanking new article. You didn’t think I’d really be able to restrain myself from the keyboard for a whole week now did you? Inspired by yesterday’s How to Overcome Power Trippers in the Workplace, I felt compelled to put down my margarita and fake tan to write this article.

Not all workplaces are created equal. Here are five reasons you should quit your job and hit Seek quicker than Kim Kardashian leaving a marriage.

Office Politics

There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to do your job and having to deal with other people’s bullshit. Some people simply have nothing better to do than to be difficult, gossip, meddle and create negativity. They thrive on it, gathering troops to make everyone’s life around them miserable, because deep down they are just plain nasty and insecure.

One of my personal favourites, are the ones who feel threatened because you can do what they can’t and it makes them feel inferior, thus they martyr themselves and constantly make niggling passive aggressive comments (because martyrs aren’t a fan of being honest and upfront you see).

Beware, these types of people are damaging, as they do all they can to make you feel bad about being good at your job (consciously or subconciously) and put a full stop on any kind of progress so that things can stay the same and they can stay in their comfort zone. Attempting to nurture their insecurity with kindness, empathy and understanding to make them feel valued for who they are, can often turn out to be an exhausting waste of time when they continue regardless.

The only way to stop office politics is to address it head on. Now this can go two ways depending on the strength of your management. Some will take it on board and get it immediately, because they respect your professionalism and understand your commitment to your work.

However, weak management will brush it under the carpet and often point the finger back at you because they don’t know how to deal with it or don’t want to deal with it, and somehow it becomes your fault. Thus the perpetrator of the politics becomes the victim and is empowered to continue. A complete head fuck and a grave miscarriage of justice.

Your Worth is Not Valued

I don’t need to be constantly reassured, nor do I expect a row of can can dancers in my office every time I do a good job, but sometimes all it takes is two simple words – thank you. And I do expect to be paid properly for what I contribute to a company. It’s not that fucking complicated.

However, at the end of the day, some managers just don’t get it. And it’s a mighty tough pill to swallow when they reward other people who sit around flat out doing fuck all.

The task before you here is to hold your head high, know in your heart who you are and what you have to offer and move on to somewhere that does get it, because banging your head against their office door until it bleeds trying to make them understand is futile.

Like the dodgy boyfriend who didn’t appreciate you, they all soon learn the hard way once you’ve left.

Your Boss is a Bully

Just because someone pays your wages at the end of the week, it does not give them the right to treat you badly. Nobody has the right to raise their voice at you, compromise you or intimidate you. The repercussions of staying in an abusive work relationship can be just as damaging to your self worth as a bad personal relationship.

Bullies come in all shapes or sizes. Some will directly verbally abuse you, some will undermine your confidence and some will make you tip toe on egg shells around them. Sure they are paying you to do a job, but that doesn’t mean you have to nurse their shortcomings. They have a responsibility to communicate effectively and treat you right in exchange for the services that you provide. This is a two way street.

You’re Doing the Work of 4 People

“Ummm, we’re going through some cost cuttings at the moment so we’ve retrenched some staff, and unfortunately we need to cut your hours too. But, oh, by the way, you’re now expected to do your job with less pay and less hours, and also pick up the slack from the other people we just sacked. And, oh, if things don’t get done like they used to, we’ll still point the finger at you.”

WTF?!? No, I don’t think so sunshine.

But I Wanted to be a Ballerina

So many of us unwittingly forge our careers out of what our parents and society expect of us only to sink into the quarter life crisis, trying to reconcile why when we have ticked all the boxes we are so miserably unhappy and spend most of our working days wanting to run screaming to board the next plane overseas.

When you’re bored beyond belief with your job, and the people around you make you want to call OOO to perform emergency CPR on your soul, then it’s time to get back in touch with what you really want to do, regardless of others expectations.

This is no easy feat. In fact, standing on your own ground and forging out a life that means something to you independent of what everyone else says is right, will prove to be your greatest challenge in your 20s.

Give yourself the freedom to to take risks and explore who you are. With that will come perceived failure, as you move from one venture to another. But I beg of you, please know this. It takes greater courage and strength to step outside the perceived linear expectation of “success”, than those around you robotically following the formula others have laid down for them.

Sometimes we can only know who we are, by who are not. “Failure” is just a stepping stone for us to build upon to reach our greatest heights. Without the courage of exploration in the face of societal judgment, we will never really find out who we really are and be able to live a truly fulfilling life.

Watch this space in January, when MWSG will guide you through the highs and lows of job hunting, including expert advice from the recruitment industry.

First Published on The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide on 2nd June 2011

We’ve all worked with people who get an erection whilst wielding their over inflated sense of self importance over others, just because they have a title. Otherwise referred to as a wanker.

They regularly like to let you know that you are their subordinate (directly or indirectly), just in case you forget that you are beneath them in the corporate food chain. Even if your job title doesn’t happen to fall below them in the organisational chart, they manipulate others in higher positions (otherwise known as wrapping equally retarded senior management around their little fingers) so that they can make other people’s lives a misery.

Me? I’ve experienced my fair share. Retail in particular seemed to be a breeding ground for mediocre women lacking in substance, carrying around their clip boards and reprimanding their employees for coming back five minutes late from their break or enforcing complete silence during a stock take. The glint in their eye that they were enjoying exercising their power over you did not go undetected.

When the General Manager for the state cut me off in a conversation to speak to someone else “more important” I quickly handed in my resignation. General manager or no general manager, she wasn’t going to treat me like I was nobody. I later heard through the ex employee grapevine that she was sacked by the company after numerous complaints for how she treated her staff.

My “small penis of the year award” for 2009 went to the guy in charge of the stationery cupboard at David Jones, who despite having the key in his pocket and standing in front of said cupboard, refused to give me a pen because he only opened the cupboard between 9 and 11 am. What one was meant to do when their shift started at 12pm was beyond me, but pushing the issue only served to heighten his satisfaction over being able to hinder my ability to get what I needed. Little, little man.

Although “Fabio” did have very curly long hair and I think he fancied himself as a bit of a ladies’ man. It may have worked for him in the 80s (coupled with a double denim stonewash ensemble, or so I am imagining … actually, eeek, I think I’d rather not), but his locks only made him even more tragic in my eyes.

Another manager enjoyed asking me for files and snapping her fingers to ask where they were not a minute later. I can still hear her ugly shrill descending down the office corridor as she demanded, “GayyyyNNNOR, where is that file?” Listen lady, you may think you’re the Queen of Sheba sitting there in your big chair and fancy office (which quite frankly I find hideous in the extreme with its gaudy decor and framed glamour shot of yourself, but hey whatever works for you), but I’ve only been here a day, so how about pointing me in the direction of your filing cabinet?

The thing is this. You’re never going to make me feel small by withholding a pen from me. You’re not going to affect my confidence in my abilities by placing unrealistic demands on me. You’re not going to belittle me by sending me bullshit emails, and you’re sure as hell not going to impress me just because you’re carrying a clipboard. In fact, your hideous displays are a source of entertainment that make me laugh at you on the inside.

Do not continue to work for people who do not respect you and get their self worth by stealing yours. Kick these kinds of people to the kerb, and step over them in your Christian Louboutins with complete disregard and disgust as you would a drunken bogan spewing up in the middle of the footpath. Protect yourself from these vampires, just as you would your new designer shoes whilst stepping over said bogan.

Arm yourself with the knowledge that what you’re dealing with are very weak, small, tiny, sad, little specimens. For empowered people with style, substance and self belief, have no need to power trip over others to make themselves feel important. Do not let them steal your confidence, self worth or time and energy. Rise high above them, for you my friend are the stronger, more fabulous, better, much much better person.

MONDAY

Dear Diary,

I have just signed up to Oasis Active to see what kind of men are on these sites. Out of the 300 that responded today with the likes of “I think you’re hot” or sending me animated cartoons of flowers and kisses, there haven’t been any that I have felt compelled to reply to.

Perhaps I should be flattered that so many men have responded to my profile, right? But, it’s more insulting that some of these men who make me want to do a small vomit in my mouth think that they would warrant a date with me?

Let me give you an example so you my diary (keeper of my inner most thoughts) don’t go all judgmental on me and think that I’m a snob. My profile listed my interests as drinking wine in hidden Melbourne lane way bars, vintage glamour, Paris and the likes. So, why on earth would a bogan standing in front of a selection of racing cars in his profile picture respond to me? I also take umbrage to the thought of ever being called “chikkibabe”. I’m sure the ladies are forming an orderly queue.

Male 30 Australia

outgoing like to travel fully cashed up for the right young chikkibabe

TUESDAY

Dear Diary,

This Oasis Active thing is almost as addictive as Facebook. I find myself trawling through pictures and profiles of people I don’t even know for hours on end.

I don’t want to jump the gun, but I think this site is a waste of time. I think there are better odds at the local boozer, although it’s easier to just delete someones contact request if you don’t like them, rather than have to run from them in your stiletto heels, like my friend and I had to do in Perth the other week.

Sure, his offer of a drink was nice and all, but we didn’t realise he was taking us to his backpackers hostel where he immediately showed me his room like it was the penthouse at the Crown Casino, pulled out some cask wine and then proceeded to show me all his Facebook photos. Umm, yes, it’s a backpacker’s hostel – if you were trying to impress me, I would be keeping the fact that you’re living in a hostel when you’re not even a traveler under closely guarded wraps, and secondly, you showing me your bed so early on in the piece is giving me the heebie jeebies.

After photo 86 of 440 I tried to walk back to the table for another “wine” and he got angry. Hmmm, yes, that was the point in the story where my friend and I abandoned our “wine” and made a run for it. I’m not sure what was worse – feigning interest at his kodak moments on Facebook or him catching up to us when we ran away from him and having to spend the next half an hour declining his insistent requests for my phone number.”Listen sunshine, besides the fact I find you repulsive and creepy to say the least, we live on other sides of the country” (note to diary: not that I said that in those exact words, but you get the gist). “But, I really like the look of ya”, didn’t score him any additional brownie points.

a video game arcade, dinner, going bowling, food/cooking, films, sports, no car

WEDNESDAY

Dear Diary,

Do any of these men know how to spell? Sure, I can handle standard text message abbreviations (although if you’re too lazy to write out your ten line profile in full, then it does make me think that you’re lazy in other areas of your life too) but atrocious spelling and grammar is a real turn off. I am a writer, after all.

I finally found someone who I was happy to converse with on the online chat. He then asked for my real name? Was he mental?! I said I was happy to email him directly, but promptly set up a fake email account with my online dating name. As if I was going to give away my identity to some guy I had been chatting with for ten minutes?

THURSDAY

Dear Diary,

I would have thought that clothes weren’t an optional item in your profile picture, no? Especially when they are 18, and I am 34?!? I would have also thought that if you were 18 and not what you would call muscular, that a shirt would be the way forward? Just saying.

I’m also curious as to why women are responding to my profile? Umm, I specified I am a “female looking for a man”. Did she think sending me a picture of her in her underwear was going to make me start batting for the other team?!

I signed up to RSVP to see if there was a better calibre of clientele on their site. Oasis is a free site, whereas RSVP is free to register, but you have to buy “stamps” to actually communicate with people. After trawling through the profiles, they are definitely a better specimen of punter, however still no one I would actually date – although perhaps if I gave it more time, this site might prove more fruitful and there would definitely be less time wasters.

Male 31 Australia
Im Robbi”I ROCK”.EVERY DAY Above ground is a”GREAT DAY”..Play Bass/Vocals in 3Pro Kick Ass bands..Drive Taxi’s(Iv herd&seen it all)”Hahaha..Im Aussie/Italian..Dont smoke..No kids..Very Down to earth..Very Creative/Youthfull…I Beleive there’s a Time&Place for Everything..Dont like Negative people,Cant be fucked with that..Love clubbing&drinking till ALL hours”Hahaha &love kick’n back at home to..Love old Cars..

FRIDAY

Dear Diary,

I have decided to hang up my hat and gloves. I’m thankful that this was just a piece of online investigative journalism, because if I was serious about this online dating malarkey, then the pickings are grim, very grim indeed.

Over and out.

By Gaynor Alder

First Published in Art of the Cocktail Hour, November 24th

Following on from yesterday, today we visit the ’50s and ’60s when Grace Kelly and Brigitte Bardot were redefining beauty and style.

GRACE KELLY, 1950s

“I believe that it is right to honor all those who create beautiful things and give satisfaction to those who see me wearing them.”

• Grace Kelly’s hair was beautifully styled with a curl that flicked either ends up or under. Make sure you finish a look like this with shine spray for super smooth, luscious locks.
• Try peach coloured lipstick for a fabulous ‘50s feel.
• Create a flawless foundation by priming with Clarins Beauty Flash Balm before applying Chanel Vitalumiere for a dewy complexion – don’t forget to finish with powder.
• Elizabeth Arden’s Alberta Ferretti is a classy and elegant fragrance that will perfectly compliment your look.

Grace says…

• Do carry a small can of the classic Cedel hairspray to tame any fly-aways, especially if your hairstyle needs to take you from day to night.
• Don’t forget to maintain your mani and pedis. Chipped nails are a frightful faux pas for any modern day lady.

BRIGITTE BARDOT, 1960s

“Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.”

• Brigitte Bardot is a ‘60s icon, a time for thick eyeliner with flicks at the ends, or false eyelashes with extra helpings of mascara. Compliment your strong eyes with a pale pink lipstick and nude lip liner – but blend, darling, blend. A visible lip liner is always a no-no, no matter what era.
• For a modern take on the beehive, backcomb some under sections of hair to create height. Then, either leave your hair out with height at the crown, or tie into a pony tail, also with height at the crown and a side swept fringe. Don’t forget the hairspray!
• Paint your nails in ‘Sweetheart” by OPI.
• Scent with Baby Doll by Yves Saint Laurent.

Brigitte says …

• Do maintain your fake tan, but remember that not all fake tans are created equal. Try St Tropez Bronzing Spray for a streak free and natural tan that will leave you looking like you have spent the past month holidaying in the French Riviera.
• Don’t leave home without bobby pins and hairspray to readjust your modern beehive.

Catch up on yesterdays tip’s from the ’20s, ’30s & ’40s screen sirens.

By Gaynor Alder

First Published in Art of the Cocktail Hour on November 17th, 2011

When it comes to styling yourself for a cocktail hour, there’s no better cue than the screen sirens of yesteryear. They screamed glamour, sass and sophistication, and they turned beauty into an art form.

These women knew that what you do is as important as what you don’t do. And pssst, your secret weapon involves not only bonding with your beautician and hairdresser on a chummy first name basis, but also ensuring you never leave home without essential beauty items in your handbag.

Take a little bit of inspiration from these iconic women and you’ll look and feel the part:

LOUISE BROOKS, 1920s

“A well dressed woman, even though her purse is painfully empty, can conquer the world.”

• To recreate Louise’s 1920s vamp look, dark lips and nails are a must. Try Ruby Woo lipstick from MAC and paint your nails in Got the Blues from Red, or Lincoln Park after Dark by OPI.
• A grey smokey eye with lashings of eyeliner in the waterline is essential.  This is one situation where I advocate breaking makeup 101 rule: thou must not wear a strong eye and lip together.
• If you don’t have a bob, try finger waves (think Charlize Theron on the red carpet). You’re going to need bobby pins and gel – lots of it. Or, add an art-deco style hair pin.
• Scent yourself with the hypnotic Poison by Dior, it’s a heady and sensual fragrance that will create an air of mystery.

Louise says…

• Do carry lipstick and a mirror in your handbag to perfect your pout all evening long, especially if you’re wearing signature vintage red. It’s high maintenance but fabulously worth it.
• Don’t leave home without a spare pair of pantyhose in case of an emergency ladder in your fishnet.

MAE WEST, 1930s

“I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.”

• Try pin curls to emulate Mae’s soft and bouncy curls. You’ll need to arm yourself with lots of bobby pins and a curl setting spray. Alas, donot fret, this is easier than it sounds.
• Start by taking small strands of hair, then wind them in on themselves to create a flat circle on your head, then pin them down. The bigger the loop, the bigger the curl. Roll all your hair in the same way, making sure you spray each strand with a curl setting spray before pinning. Once complete, wrap your hair in a fabulous scarf, pour yourself a cocktail and relax for a few hours while your curls set.
• Makeup in the ’30s was personified by an uber pale complexion, pink blush and the rosebud lip – think full lips with an elongated bow that rounds at the corners.

Mae says …

• Do ask your manicurist to apply your polish in a half moon crescent in the centre of the nails with the tips and base of the nails left bare – an edgy, modern take on the ‘30s polish technique.
• Don’t pluck your eyebrows into a thin line of non-existence. This look needs to be left in the past as it’s not flattering on any woman.

VERONICA LAKE, 1940s

 “I’m no longer interested in doing what’s expected of me.”

• Veronica’s wave of cascading side curls were her trademark. Emulate her look by placing curlers in your hair and once set, take them out and soften them by brushing with a large paddle brush. If you don’t have a set of curlers, learn how to wield a ghd styler to create waves, and then pin one side of your hair back with bobby pins.
• Lacquer your nails with An Affair in Red Square by OPI, and, oh, it’s still all about the red lip. Ensure you find the right red for your complexion: blue based red for cool complexions and an orange based red for warm complexions.
• Line your eyelid with a thin line of liquid black eyeliner. Bobbi Brown’s gel liner will ensure a long lasting and super defined line, sans smudging.
• Scent yourself with the opulent and floral Gucci Guilty Intense perfume.

Veronica says…

• Do invest in a Borne Naked handbag liner for the perfect solution to take your handbag necessities from one cocktail hour to another.
• Don’t take your heels off no matter how many martinis you’ve had! Shoes are not an optional item in public. Ever!

Tomorrow we visit the ’50s and ’60s.  Can you guess which screen sirens we’ll cover from these decades?

Visit Art of the Cocktail Hour for a modern, entertaining and thoroughly useful guide to recreating the golden age of the cocktail hour, today.

By Sheri Bomb

Sheri was one of the lucky winners of our reader review competition, whereby she got to review a beauty product on behalf of The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide. Here’s what Sheri had to say about Benefit’s It’s Potent Eye Cream. – Ed.

I have always been a sucker for Benefit Cosmetics. I love everything they are about. The tongue-in-cheek vigour with which they approach their products, their penchant for all things old Hollywood glam and especially their adorable retro-feel packaging.

When the lovely ladies at The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide sent me a swag of Benefit beauty things to try out I was very excited, as although I love them, their line of products are slightly out of my price range to use in regular rotation.

Although in the past I had balked at the price, after just a single use of the products I could see why they fit their price range and are
worth every cent! Considering they are still on the generally more affordable end of the scale, these products are quality and actually work.

As I took the pot of it’s potent! eye cream out of its box I was immediately struck with how cute the packaging was. The cork-look screw top and glass stitching set into the sides of pot gave it that glorious vintage feel while its small size prompted me to apply it sparingly first time around. And I’m glad a did because they’re right, this stuff IS potent and a little goes a long way!

As someone who struggles with dark circles and a sometimes sunken or puffy under eye look, I was extremely impressed with how effective such a small amount of the product was. This put a big smile on my dial as I realised this tiny little pot of miracle would last me much longer than I had anticipated.

After just one application the area under my eyes appeared plumper and smoother with no sign of dark circles. I also noticed that the
results seemed to stick around, with dark circles appearing faded even when it was time for another application. Being an eye cream it was fragrance free but the cream itself is a very light peach colour that just LOOKS like it’s going to work.

According to the packaging, the cream contains a peptide complex that helps restore elasticity and firmness, a blend of hydrating botanical extracts including apple extract, which helps boost collagen, and loquat extract, which protects your
skin from free radical damage.

Considering many of the cheaper products that I’ve tried have had little to no effect, I’m so glad The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide gave me the chance to try some of the Benefit range for myself. The products not only last but are far more functional with some impressive results so to say I’ve been converted is an understatement. For just that little bit extra, I look forward to indulging my
own love of old Hollywood glamour and kitschy cute packaging.

About Sheri Bomb

Sheri Bomb has been writing in various forms of published and online media since 2008. Her words are her weapons and through a combination of magazine contributions and her blog, Sheri Bomb chronicles one girl’s love of Kustom Kulture, Rockabilly, Western, Vintage, Retro, Hot Rod, Atomica and 1930s to 1950s era pin up, fashion, music, style, lifestyle, décor and cars.

Sheri Bomb has led a life immersed in the Rockabilly/Kustom Kulture lifestyle and her passion and commitment to this culture has seen her involved in many of Queensland’s biggest car shows, music events and Rockabilly festivals including the annual Wintersun, Greazefest, Garterbelts & Gasoline and Cooly Rocks On festivals.

You can check out her retro ways on facebook, twitter and over at www.sheribombs.blogspot.com

By Gaynor Alder

Instead of hurtling towards January one canape and creamy cocktail at a time, I’ve decided to put the clappers on Christmas, and take a week out to have a health kick to abate the partridge in a pear tree. Getting ahead of my game and all that, so when January does roll around, I’ll be five kilos up on my thighs.

DAY F*%KING ONE

Vitamins – check.

Eat only salads, bown rice, lentils and other health food marlakey - semi check. Consumed salad for both lunch and dinner, but was also tempted by chocolate mousse cake in the fridge. It would have gone in the bin if I hadn’t of eaten it, so I was being environmentally sustainable. Do I get points for that?

Consume my entire body weight in green tea and water in lieu of vino – oh, crap! Two cups of tea, two litres of water, but the bottle of leftover vino somehow found its way to my glass. Is that being on or off the wagon? I thought the saying for good behaviour was getting back on the wagon, but isn’t that where all the liquor is? If it’s off the wagon, then the only way I’m jumping off is if there’s a sign in the distance that says Dan Murphy’s is having a two for one sale on Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc.

Yoga – downward dog anyone? The only stretching I’ve done today is to lift my arm to change the channel on the remote. I wonder if all the typing I’ve done on the keyboard counts at all towards exercise points?

… so clearly not the kind of start I was hoping for. BUT, yes, and oh but, let’s not throw the aspargaus out with the bath water. Because there’s always tomorrow, and don’t the best laid plans always need a bit of tweaking? Isn’t it easy to give up and let a bad day get the best of us? But, that’s not what us modern women are about.

We’re about being real and knowing that we may have a few hiccups along the way, but we’re still going to remain committed to our goals. We’re not going to let a few extra glasses of Sauvignon Blanc or a half eaten chocolae mousse cake thwart our efforts. We’re going to get back up, and commit to change. One can of lentils at a time.

Stay tuned tomorrow for day two. A-ha-ha-hem, promise I’ll try harder.

Gaynor Alder, Editor-in-Chief of The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide is a Melbourne based writer with a penchant for vintage glamour and all things Parisian. When not gallivanting around the countryside as a Travel Writer or being the Style Expert for ‘Art of the Cocktail Hour’, you will find her here, penning her thoughts and writing of her day to day adventures. You may even get a sneak preview of her book, but that all depends on her mood – a direct reflection of the state of her hair on any one day.

 

By Gaynor Alder

You could say I travel a lot. In the past three weeks, I’ve been on a plane six times (it’s part of the territory being a travel writer) which has required Lara Croft stealth like suitcase and handbag organisation. Three different suitcases – some containing false eyelashes and heels, the others fake tan and bikinis.

With the help of Zoe Foster, the uber gorgeous author of “Amazing Face” and other fabulous books, I have decided to get my make bags in order, to ensure that I won’t ever again be hurtling from one destination to the next in a complete state of dishevelment.

In the Essentials section of her book, Zoe details all the things you need for your different make up bags. Here’s my list to ensure you never again have to rummage through your hand bag desperately searching for lip gloss, coming up for air with a handful of mintie wrappers, receipts and ahem, tampons (no taxi drivers won’t accept them in lieu of payment).

Please note, this is not a sponsored post. The fabulous Miss Foster did not hold me to ransom to write this (because she’s nice like that), and I bought her book of my own accord. You should too. Although I can’t guarantee that if you don’t, that she won’t turn up on your doorstep and hold your family hostage until you do. Your first born in exchange would be a worthwhile investment at the end of the day.

Gaynor Alder, move away from your handbag, I repeat, move away from your handbag. Put your arms up in the air where I can see them. You are under arrest for crimes against thy Oroton handbag. Your passport, Europcar booking form and  boarding passes could not be found  due to the following …

• Used concert tickets
• Designer sunglasses sans case
• Leaking cleanser and equally leaky lip gloss
• Chewy and lolly wrappers … and, Miss, some chewies don’t even have their wrappers
• Receipts for last minute bikini and knicker purchases
• Swimming goggles (after upon interrogation don’t even belong to you)
• Tangled ear phones
• Tissues (non used, and, oh good god, yes, some used)
• Lid off spray tan (spray tan bottle MIA post a heavy session in the tropics)
• Hotel pens and pencils (okay, I’ll beg you pardon here, because I concede they’re always better to nick than the sub standard shampoo and conditioner bottles)
• An arsenal of beauty products sans make up bag

Please do beg me a pardon Officer *flutters eyelashes*.

Yes, what we’re looking for here is a small sized make up bag able to hold enough products to touch up your morning face in the middle of the day and cope with any emergency oh-my-god-what-you-want-me-to-go-to-dinner-after-work-tonight? requests from mail suitors.

Benefit Boiing

Peeps, this concealer is the bomb. Its smooth and creamy texture covers just about everything. Pimples, redness and under-eye circles be gone!

Benefit They’re Real Mascara

This mascara sure does pack a punch and is perfect in lieu of false eyelashes, especially if you need to take your day look into the evening after a long day at the office or on the fly.

MOR Cosmetics Lip Macaron

This wins massive handbag points as it’s in a tin and won’t leak gooey, sticky, lacquery, icky stuff throughout the contents of your bag. 

Clinique Happy 

This fresh fragrance bursting with citrus is the perfect all around perfume for day or night and it also comes in a convenient smaller size. My handbag says hurrah!

CLINIQUE Blushwear Cream Stick

As we’re looking for prods we can use on the go, this cream blush is perfect with it’s cream to powder finish – enabling you to apply your blush without a brush, nor get it all over your fingers, or, ahem, down the front of your brand spanking new Country Road suit whilst applying it on the train.

Bobbi Brown Tinted Moisturiser

Tinted Moisturiser is the fo shiz for a touch up when you haven’t got time to fully blend your foundation. Of course, make sure like this Bobbi Brown formula, it contains SPF.

Napoleon Lipstick

If you have to pick one lipstick colour, I think pink is flattering on every woman. You could also squeeze in a red for a bit of va-va-voom at night- but remember red lipstick is a commitment and can’t be haphazardly applied, so you could apply your gloss over your pink lippie instead. Voila!

Cedel Extra Firm Hairspray

Fight the dreaded frizzies and fly-aways with this super convenient travel size hairspray. It’s perfect for touch ups on the go, and is easily brushed out and doesn’t build up on your hair (we like that). Don’t forget to throw in some bobby pins, hair elastics and a small comb.

I also recommend that at all times every woman carries a packet of travel size tissues and emergency tampons in her handbag – need I elaborate on the consequences of such organisational mishap?

We’re talking the full arsenal here. So you’re going to need all of the above in your bathroom draw (so yes, do double up at sale time), plus the below. I may be a minimalist when it comes to my surroundings, but when it comes to my make up collection I am more extravagant with lipstick than Imelda was with shoes (as Patsy would say, “you can never have too may hats, gloves and shoes”), resulting in me having to shove the doors closed on my bathroom cabinets like a traveler sitting on their suitcase post a year’s “working” holiday. However, here is the bare minimum you should have in your bathroom cabinet.

Dermalogica Skin Resurfacing Cleanser

Cleanser and exfoliator in one? Oh oui, oui. Containing lactic acid, it promotes cell renewal (we do love those little cells turning over) and reveals smoother and more even skin. Sold.

Dermalogica Dynamic Skin Recovery

This is a lightweight yet highly effective day moisturiser with SPF 30+ has peptides that shake their pom poms for collagen production and primrose oil to prevent dehydration. Definitely a winner.

Cosmedix Refine Refining Treatment

This night time serum (Zoe recommends you use all serums at night regardless) is power packed with a potent levels of Vitamin A (the super star of anti aging). It tricks old lady or aging skin into acting like virginal skin (the skin you had before you subjected it to the sun or ahem, smoking and drinking too much) by increasing cell turnover and smoothing your skin like a baby’s bottom. We’ll forgive this little trickster for duping our fine lines and wrinkles.

Napoleon Auto Pilot Primer

Some beauty experts argue whether primer is necessary, but I say, yes, darlings yes, please do prime. Not only will it help your foundation glide on better, it will give your foundation more staying power throughout the day. Case closed.

Pantene Pro-V Aqua Light Shampoo & Conditioner

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been a fan of Pantene and my hairdresser would threaten to chop off all my hair if she knew I was using it.  However, I must say I’m mighty impressed with the new Aqua Light range which has targeted the silicon concerns of its older sister. If you need evidence, well here’s a snap shot of moi at Barney Martin Hairdressing post my hair being washed and conditioned with Pantene’s new formula. It’s all about the bounce.

Still not sold? Well, here’s the commercial they shot for me as part of their blogger’s event last month. Fun huh? You can enter Pantene’s Make a Swish Competition for your chance to win $10,000 and become the new face of Pantene.

 Gaynor Alder Pantene Swiish Commercial

KMS Freeshape Treatment

We all know too much heat styling is bad, bajeesuz, have you seen my hair in its virginal state? This fabulous formula is specifically designed for those who subject their hair regularly to heat and leaves it feeling replenished and silky soft. Tong away darlings, tong away.

Joico K-Pak Revitalise

Here’s another great hair treatment that my locks are loving. A keratin peptide complex kicks dry and damaged hair to the kerb, infusing moisture deep into the cortex of each strand, whilst preventing colour fade. No need to call 000, this formula has your hair emergency under control.

Herbal Essences Set Me Up Hairpsray 

Cactus and bamboo infuse to create one of the most gorgeous smelling sprays whilst delivering maximum hold for your style. Zoe would surely wrap me across the knuckles if I didn’t also mention mousse. Yes, peeps, it’s made a comeback. Zoe says it provides scaffolding for your hair, and its worth revisiting the 80s for the height and hold it delivers.

YSL Touche Eclat

If you haven’t heard of this concealer, which beauty block have you been hanging around?

Benefit Eye Bright Pencil

Instantly brighten your eyes and look wide awake (like you’ve just injected caffeine into your veins), by popping some in the inner and outer sockets of your eyes.

Chanel Vitalumiere

This beautiful formula is dewy and smooth yet also provides effective coverage – and hell, doesn’t every woman need a bit of Chanel on her make up counter? If you’re going to splurge on anything, it’s your foundation, manicured hands down.

Bobbi Brown Bronzing Powder

Zoe loves her fake tan, but isn’t a fan of ‘The Eagle’ (brown body, white face) which is why she highly endorses the use of bronzing powder on your face. Gosh, she’s a clever little thing isn’t she, saving womankind one woman at a time from fake tanning mishaps?

Napoleon Lip Lacquer

This thick and super shiny and glossy lacquer is the business I say, the business.

Benefit BADgal Liner

You’re going to need lashings of liner to master the smokey eye. Do not fret, the fabulous Miss Foster talks you through a masterclass of smokey eyes with varying colours so you can seductively saunter into any soiree.

MAC False Eyelashes

No red carpet worthy event is complete without false eyelashes. Glide those babies on with a steady hand and precision, with all the confidence of a pilot landing a plane at JFK.

Napoleon Lip Liner

I love blending Napoleon’s Hot Mocha coloured liner with my pink lipsticks to create a chocolatey pink look - but, please, please, please, I beg of you (am down on my hands and knees and all) blend, blend, blend like a nanna at a Country Woman’s Association bake off.

Hello, Gaynor, this is Gourmet Traveller. We were wondering if you could do a piece on the French Riveria? All expenses paid of course. Can you be at Tullamarine airport tomorrow morning?

Oh, shit.

Surely, being a Travel Writer I am prepared for such occasions with a ready packed suitcase.

Passport – check.

Tickets – check.

Clean knickers ….

Oh, f&%K.

I now keep 3 make up bags (one for toiletries, one for make up and one for the plane) packed in my suitcase at all times, and when I return from holidays I replace it all, so should I need to swan about in Monaco at a moment’s notice, I can spend more time on picking out my kaftans and deciding on which colour bikinis to take.

Toiletries Bag

Shampoo, conditioner – oh, no, not on your nellie am I going to leave this in the hands of the hotel! Have you seen my high maintenance hair? Sure, you can buy the travel size versions of your favourite shampoo and conditioner, but prepare to fork out for these ridiculously small containers of product. Borne Naked Travel Liners to the rescue!

These fabulous make up bags have all the cutest little containers you need to decant your hair care, moisturiser, serums, body moisturiser, exfoliator and the rest of your beauty slap.  Best of all the bags are clear so you can see exactly what is in them without having to rummage.

I also advise you add deodorant, SPF 30+ and a razor. If you’re not a waxer like me, then finding a razor to use on a daily basis that doesn’t scratch your legs to buggery leaving you with a rather “attractive” red mottled look is no easy task. However, the Venus Razor is moisture rich featuring a gel bar to soothe your skin as you shave.

Cosmetics

We’re still trying to conserve space here, but your travel make up bag is going to need to take you from day to night and various different occasions. So in addition to what you’d normally have in your handbag, I suggest you add the following:

• Eye pencil for both upper and lower eye rims
• Smokey eye pallett for night
• Neutral shadows for day

Fake Tan

I also suggest you might whip up a fake tan kit. Again Borne Naked is a great solution here, so you can decant your exfoliator, fake tan and gradual tan into a container, along with a tanning mit and tan remover if necessary.

I don’t need to tell you that not all fake tans are created equal now do I? And we all know that we need a green based formula to counteract the orange, right? And I don’t need to remind you to exfoliate properly, surely not? Okay, now that we’ve cleared that up, it’s time to get your tan on.

Get your white paws on St Tropez Tan Optimiser Exfoliator, Tanning Mousse, Bronzing Spray and Everyday Gradual Tan, like stat!

Plane

For your plane kit, pack a hydration mist for your face, hand cream, air pressure ear plugs, travel pillow and sockies to keep your feet warm once you’ve taken off your shoes.

Suitcase

Now if you’re really keen, you can do as I do (but just not as I say … oh hang on a minute, do as I say as well) put seven pairs of clean knickers in your suitcase, because, like for feck’s sake, you can never have enough clean knickers at the ready can you?

Now, if you need expert advice on how to use all these prods, I suggest you get your manicured hands on Zoe’s ‘Amazing Face’. Like seriously, run don’t walk to your nearest book shop, or if you’d prefer not to ruin your favourite pair of Pradas, you can click here instead (you won’t chip your nail polish – promise).

First Published on The Flight Centre Blog, 10th November 2011

Flight Centre guest blogger Gaynor Alder is introducing you to five places she always takes her guests when they visit her in Melbourne. Take notes, this lady sure knows her stuff when it comes to her beloved Melbourne. – Sam Locke, Flight Centre.

Melbourne embraced me with open arms, and I’ve never looked back. Why do I love thee so you ask? Besides the undeniable style, culture, cafes, restaurants, bars, shopping, and the European architecture, it’s because in Melbourne you can be whoever you want to be. Come and explore Melbourne with me – the Melbourne that calls to me when I wake up every day, and says, I have secrets, come and find them.

Stop #1 The Spice Market

I distinctly remember the first time I entered the Spice Market. The grandeur entrance swept me off my feet with its opulence and the Middle Eastern inspired decor transported me to another world. I was taken on a sensory journey as I explored the bars and private lounges of the Persian Room and Shanghai Lounge, but it wasn’t until I sunk into my plush couch that I was able to fully absorb the ambience of the stunning and unique surrounds.

“The lavish Spice Market takes its inspiration from the ancient spice route travelled by traders of old, and has been exquisitely furnished to reflect this famous journey from Asia Minor through to the Far East. Honouring the Melbourne tradition of laneways and discovery, Spice Market is entered from Beaney Lane, off Russell St, adjacent to the Grand Hyatt Melbourne.” – The Spice Market.

Click here to read the full article on The Flight Centre Blog.

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