The universe has a bitchy sense of humour. She also has some pretty exceptional comic timing. This is a story of the universe’s nasty streak.

I love beauty. However, sometimes I fail in the beauty stakes. A couple of months ago, I was getting ready for a day at university, mindful of the fact that I had a little thing called Melbourne Writer’s Club on that evening which I always vamp myself up for nicely. So I got up early, chose a nice dress and rushed to my beauty cupboard.

I had acquired a hair curling product that required no blow drying or heat styling. This was very exciting because I’m lazy and blow drying makes my arms hurt. It instructed to scrunch the product though damp hair and let it dry naturally.  At first, I scrunched in a very reasonable amount. I noticed that my normally wavy hair was beginning to spring up as it dried, into gorgeous curls. They were PARFAIT! Advice nugget one: If it’s parfait, maybe leave it that way.

I began scrunching more and more and even more through it. My curls got springier and springier. I was basically having a curl party in my bathroom. The best kind of party. Or so I thought.

I felt fab. In my sister’s dress, my fave lipstick, my (fake) ray bans and most importantly my curls. I visited a friend and she commented on how good I looked. Externally, I flipped my hair and babbled along the lines of “oh tosh…just threw this together…insert attempt at an attractive giggle/chuckle combo” Advice nugget 2: attractive giggle/chuckle combo is notoriously hard to achieve. Avoid at all costs.

All the while, inside, I was reliving my curl party and thinking “preaching to the choir, girl!” Advice nugget 3: Never get cocky. Always be confident. But crossing this line seems to make the bitchy universe act like she’s on universe sized PMS.

Later on, something changed. No matter how I moved my head, my hair stayed still. And every now and then I heard an odd crunching noise.  I ignored it until I popped to the loo before heading to Melb Writer’s Club. The only words to describe my feeling were Holy. Merde.

A very dear friend of mine once said “I believe all hair product only ends up making your hair look worse.” Big call. And I have devoted my life to proving her wrong. But in this case she may have been right.

My hair was stiff. It was greasy. And, possibly worst of all, it crunched.  Actually, looking back, it’s hard to pick which was the worst part.

After hovering in front of the mirror for a few minutes in utter disbelief, I shoved my crunchy hair into a bun. Good God, it looked worse.I thought I had hit rock bottom. But the universe had an ace up her sleeve (when does she not?) Who would I meet that night at MWC? None other than Gaynor Alder. Also known as the most naturally glam lady to grace the world. I had not envisaged meeting her with greasy, crunchy hair. Touché, universe, touché.

But, darlings, this is where the REAL message comes in. I crunched my way through that night, yes I did. I was brave and I spoke to Gaynor, faked confidence until I gradually forgot about my hair. And somehow, I ended up with this internship. I think the universe figured she’d thrown enough merde my way.

So, in my first column to you, I say, no matter what merde the universe throws your way, think fabulous thoughts and you’ll get through it. And even if a hair product is really amazing, it pays to use it with restraint.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Despite her mammoth collection of beauty products, Amy is not particularly glamorous. However, she really, really wishes that she were. And it’s the thought that counts, isn’t it? She’s a communications student with an alarming curiosity for random anecdotes of strangers’ lives and an unusual passion for bridal shopping shows (where all the best anecdotes from strangers are revealed.) She’ll be putting this to use to source the best feature-worthy stories and pen a little about her own efforts at a sophisticated life. By the way, Amy is exceedingly chatty and would love to hear your random anecdotes. Should you feel like sharing, get in touch with her on Twitter @AmyLCassell

By Gaynor Alder – First posted on 9th December, 2011

We interrupt our holiday popular posts transmission to bring you this brand spanking new article. You didn’t think I’d really be able to restrain myself from the keyboard for a whole week now did you? Inspired by yesterday’s How to Overcome Power Trippers in the Workplace, I felt compelled to put down my margarita and fake tan to write this article.

Not all workplaces are created equal. Here are five reasons you should quit your job and hit Seek quicker than Kim Kardashian leaving a marriage.

Office Politics

There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to do your job and having to deal with other people’s bullshit. Some people simply have nothing better to do than to be difficult, gossip, meddle and create negativity. They thrive on it, gathering troops to make everyone’s life around them miserable, because deep down they are just plain nasty and insecure.

One of my personal favourites, are the ones who feel threatened because you can do what they can’t and it makes them feel inferior, thus they martyr themselves and constantly make niggling passive aggressive comments (because martyrs aren’t a fan of being honest and upfront you see).

Beware, these types of people are damaging, as they do all they can to make you feel bad about being good at your job (consciously or subconciously) and put a full stop on any kind of progress so that things can stay the same and they can stay in their comfort zone. Attempting to nurture their insecurity with kindness, empathy and understanding to make them feel valued for who they are, can often turn out to be an exhausting waste of time when they continue regardless.

The only way to stop office politics is to address it head on. Now this can go two ways depending on the strength of your management. Some will take it on board and get it immediately, because they respect your professionalism and understand your commitment to your work.

However, weak management will brush it under the carpet and often point the finger back at you because they don’t know how to deal with it or don’t want to deal with it, and somehow it becomes your fault. Thus the perpetrator of the politics becomes the victim and is empowered to continue. A complete head fuck and a grave miscarriage of justice.

Your Worth is Not Valued

I don’t need to be constantly reassured, nor do I expect a row of can can dancers in my office every time I do a good job, but sometimes all it takes is two simple words – thank you. And I do expect to be paid properly for what I contribute to a company. It’s not that fucking complicated.

However, at the end of the day, some managers just don’t get it. And it’s a mighty tough pill to swallow when they reward other people who sit around flat out doing fuck all.

The task before you here is to hold your head high, know in your heart who you are and what you have to offer and move on to somewhere that does get it, because banging your head against their office door until it bleeds trying to make them understand is futile.

Like the dodgy boyfriend who didn’t appreciate you, they all soon learn the hard way once you’ve left.

Your Boss is a Bully

Just because someone pays your wages at the end of the week, it does not give them the right to treat you badly. Nobody has the right to raise their voice at you, compromise you or intimidate you. The repercussions of staying in an abusive work relationship can be just as damaging to your self worth as a bad personal relationship.

Bullies come in all shapes or sizes. Some will directly verbally abuse you, some will undermine your confidence and some will make you tip toe on egg shells around them. Sure they are paying you to do a job, but that doesn’t mean you have to nurse their shortcomings. They have a responsibility to communicate effectively and treat you right in exchange for the services that you provide. This is a two way street.

You’re Doing the Work of 4 People

“Ummm, we’re going through some cost cuttings at the moment so we’ve retrenched some staff, and unfortunately we need to cut your hours too. But, oh, by the way, you’re now expected to do your job with less pay and less hours, and also pick up the slack from the other people we just sacked. And, oh, if things don’t get done like they used to, we’ll still point the finger at you.”

WTF?!? No, I don’t think so sunshine.

But I Wanted to be a Ballerina

So many of us unwittingly forge our careers out of what our parents and society expect of us only to sink into the quarter life crisis, trying to reconcile why when we have ticked all the boxes we are so miserably unhappy and spend most of our working days wanting to run screaming to board the next plane overseas.

When you’re bored beyond belief with your job, and the people around you make you want to call OOO to perform emergency CPR on your soul, then it’s time to get back in touch with what you really want to do, regardless of others expectations.

This is no easy feat. In fact, standing on your own ground and forging out a life that means something to you independent of what everyone else says is right, will prove to be your greatest challenge in your 20s.

Give yourself the freedom to to take risks and explore who you are. With that will come perceived failure, as you move from one venture to another. But I beg of you, please know this. It takes greater courage and strength to step outside the perceived linear expectation of “success”, than those around you robotically following the formula others have laid down for them.

Sometimes we can only know who we are, by who are not. “Failure” is just a stepping stone for us to build upon to reach our greatest heights. Without the courage of exploration in the face of societal judgment, we will never really find out who we really are and be able to live a truly fulfilling life.

Watch this space in January, when MWSG will guide you through the highs and lows of job hunting, including expert advice from the recruitment industry.

By Gaynor Alder / First Published on Feb 7, 2012

I’m desperately seeking serenity over thy inbox. It’s been strangling me with its incessant requests, and suffocating me with its relentless demands. I’m driven by a crazy compulsion to answer every single message as it constantly cries out for attention.

Na, na, na, na, na it taunts me, you’re never going to get to the end of all these messages. An empty inbox? Yeah, right. Good luck with that.

But, it’s time to make peace with the messages in my inbox, for they’ll always be there. It’s time to let go of the futile obsessive compulsive desire to continually have a clean inbox. And good heavens above, what does it really matter anyway? “Here lies Gaynor, her inbox was always empty.”

But, you can take control of it so that you can free up time to focus your attention on other things. Fun things. Productive things. Say, ahem, like finishing a book and sending it off to the publishers after agonising over its every sentence for eight years.

1. Unsubscribe from Crap

The first thing you want to do is reduce the number of unnceccessary emails flooding your inbox. Otherwise known as crap. Sure, we all want to know when Virgin is offering return trips to Paris for $100, but some of these subscriptions need to be banished like a Nigerian scammer asking for your bank details.

2. Delete each email after its been actioned. Like seriously.

Speaking of unnecesary emails in your inbox, what’s with all those emails you’ve read and actioned still hanging around taking up valuable closet space? You wouldn’t let last season’s frock that’s seriously seen better days clutter up your wardrobe, would you now?

3. Enough With the Thank You Already

For feck’s sake. One thank you and acknowledgement is suffice. No need to thank the thank you by starting a pointless email loop that lingers longer than Posh Spice in front of the paps.

From:  obsessivereplyer@yahoo.com.au
Sent: Tuesday, 7 February 2012 2:05 PM
To:  addictedtopointlessemailing@bigpond.com.au
Subject: Thank you

Thank you for writing that fabulous article for me.

From: addictedtopointlessemailing@bigpond.com.au
Sent: Tuesday, 7 February 2012 2:10 PM
To:  obsessivereplyer@yahoo.com.au
Subject: RE: Thank you

You’re welcome. Anytime darling.

From: addictedtopointlessemailing@bigpond.com.au
Sent: Tuesday, 7 February 2012 2:11 PM
To:  obsessivereplyer@yahoo.com.au
Subject: RE: RE: Thank you

Thank you again xxx

From:  obsessivereplyer@yahoo.com.au
Sent: Tuesday, 7 February 2012 2:12 PM
To:  addictedtopointlessemailing@bigpond.com.au
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Thank you

XX

From: addictedtopointlessemailing@bigpond.com.au
Sent: Tuesday, 7 February 2012 2:13 PM
To:  obsessivereplyer@yahoo.com.au
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Thank you

Mwah xox

4. Dedicated Email Times

For the chronically obsessed, I can feel the sick rising in your throat as I suggest this, but set dedicated times each day to answer your emails, and then, yes, I’m deadly serious, switch it off whilst you work. And, please, for the love of God, turn of that pesky dinging thing that notifies you every time you get a new message. It can wait, really it can.

Obviously you’re going to need to map out an email management system that works for you and your job. What works for me is an hour when I start work, again at lunch and again at the end of the day.

5. Get Your Lara Croft On

Combat your inbox with an effective strategy.

• If it can be responded to immediately, then respond.
• Delegate it if it needs delegating (and please remember not to fall into the trap of the perilous and pointless thank you loop).
• If it requires more time to action, put it straight into your to do list and continue to take on the rest of your inbox.
• Set up some trusty email folders to save information you may need at a later date.

“Here lies Gaynor, she penned the novel of a century.”

Image Credits: 1, 2

By Gaynor Alder / First Published on July 21, 2009

“I smoke all the time, one after the other” – Greta Garbo

Determined to divorce myself from the nasty on again, off again relationship I have with smoking (the classic love hate relationship), I am now Day 4 sans nicotine. Previous attempts (the best being an 8 month stint) were a painful affair with nicotine refusing to bow out gracefully and accept it was over between the two of us. It would call up, 5, 10, 20 times a day, begging for me to take him back. Come on, what do you say we get the old team back together? We used to be so good you and I, and now you’ve just gone and shut me out of your life. It was as mad as hell I’d abandoned it, and it would do anything to get me back. It was clear I was going to need a good divorce lawyer.

I armed myself with bottles of water, chewing gum, hypnosis cds and enough lavender oil to sedate a class room of children with ADD. I even had a cheer squad who would wave their pom poms at me and shout, “gimme a G”, every time I felt like giving in, but all I wanted to do was to tell them to fuck off and take their pom poms and shove them up their ass (not my finest hour). However, no matter how bad it got, persevere did I! There were mood swings, stomping feet and tantrums as I fought the craving for nicotine that was surging through my veins, but it was time for nicotine to go. I had seen the truth of who he was – a master manipulator who was only in the relationship for himself. The up side of surviving the withdrawals was that my skin was radiating dewiness like a supermodel in a million dollar cosmetics magazine contract (vanity was always the main motivator). “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline?” …. maybe it was no longer smoking a packet of Peter Stuyvesants a day.

So why did I go back? Why did I let him into my life again? Well, it all started with just one (yes that old nutshell). Looking back at the relationship with rose coloured glasses (like every woman in post relationship denial), I wondered if he really was that bad for me, and maybe we could just start seeing each other again on the weekends? Pretty soon, he had barged his way back into my life, taking over me one cigarette at a time until before I knew it, I was completely hooked again. I tried to hide it from my friends (you see, they had nursed me through the bitter break up and I felt ashamed I had taken him back), but the smell of him lingered in all my clothes. When they eventually found out, they couldn’t quite look me in the eye, because they had said all those nasty things about him.

Like all uninvited house guests, he started to wear out his welcome. I was constantly picking up after him, as he was leaving ash trays lying all around the house. Like all useless ex boyfriends, it was time to slam down the phone on him once and for all. This time it was over, really over. So here I am again, detoxing nicotine from my system. Surprisingly, I haven’t had a desire to throw the stapler at any one’s head, nor abuse the person in front of me because they are walking too slowly.

Perhaps leaving things behind that are bad for us, is much easier when we truly realise how much better off we are without them.

One thing is for certain, being a woman comes with it’s challenges. One such challenge begins with H, and unbeknownst to us can, at times, wreak more havoc than we are aware of!

Yep! Those marvelous little things called hormones! They affect, influence and determine a whole range of things from our mood, to our appetite, to our confidence, our energy levels, our body composition, our motivation and our metabolism!

Once upon a time I was quite an androgynous female and had little to no female hormones circulating in my system. Thanks to being an addicted runner with an athletic body fat percentage of just 7%, I was more testosterone than oestrogen or progesterone. Although I did not realise it at the time, this was the primary reason my pain threshold was so high, my motivation and confidence over-brimming, my moods even and my energy enviable!

Fast forward a few years later, and a much healthier body fat percentage of around 20%, I have rather rudely been initiated into the world of raging hormones. In fact, to be more precise I have actually been diagnosed with a condition that officially means my hormones are MESSED UP!

For those who are familiar with it, my condition is called Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Increasingly common in today’s world it is an affliction that varies widely in it’s symptoms and effects for each individual, but over ridingly it will translate to an “insulin resistant” type physiology.

So to add to the usual challenges and swings of everyday women hormones, this diagnosis means that paying particular attention and diligence to diet, exercise and stress-management is especially important.

For this reason, I am acutely aware of how hormones can affect us women, and what is within our locus of control to encourage as much as possible, hormone harmony.

Here are my TOP 5 Tips for balancing your hormones through healthy lifestyle habits:

1)   Eat as though you have diabetes

This may sound like a strange recommendation, and perhaps it is, but truly 98% of our population would do very well to pretend they have this condition and eat accordingly! In a nutshell that means loads of fresh veggies and salad, lean proteins, good quality carbohydrates in controlled quantities, as well as moderate amounts of nuts, seeds, fruits and ‘whole food fats’ (ie avocado, coconut, olives, etc).

2)   Move your body everyday

Truly we were designed to move! Physiologically we are perfectly ‘styled’ to move, move, move! Getting your heart rate up each day will enable you to metabolise a million times better, improve your energy levels and balance out your sugar and insulin levels. The type of movement you choose to do is completely up to you! We are all different, and also go through different stages. Some people are more suited to “short and sharp” styles of training, others prefer “long and slow”. As Nike says JUST DO IT! Anyway you like! Dance, walk, run, ride, swim, lift weights, kyak, do yoga, jump on the tampoline! The options are only limited by your imagination.

3)   Meditate

This is the tip I most struggle to get clients to take on board, yet honestly, it is one of the most effective! Our stress levels today are at best high, more commonly insane, and it does absolutely nothing for harmonious hormones! The chemical changes that occur in our body whilst we meditate are beyond incredible and with regular practice will go a long way to encouraging balanced and blissful hormone management.

4)   Change how you think

Again this may sound like a strange recommendation but “what goes on between our ears” is without a doubt the most influential factor on our internal physiology and chemistry. If you are interested in knowing more about this I highly recommend reading ‘The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles’ by Dr Bruce Lipton, as well as Deepak Chopra’s ‘Ageless Body, Timeless Mind’. It is a lifetime work to become increasingly aware and conscious of how much choice we have over our thoughts, emotions, reactions and behaviours, and how much these indeed DO determine our experience and reality- and yes, our hormones!

5)   Give yourself a break!

One of the most important things you can do to help yourself achieve Hormone Harmony is to remember that they are a very real factor in how you feel, think and operate! Instead of endlessly criticising yourself for feeling moody, low, unmotivated, unenergised and self-conscious, consider that you may be in the 2^nd half of your cycle and waning testosterone and increasing oestrogen and progesterone could be at cause! Remember that you are not a man with predictable daily hormone shifts, and that you are instead a woman with fluctuating monthly cycles. You need nurturing, nourishing, supporting and flexibility. Be kind and implement the above tips to give yourself the very best chance of not being endlessly at effect of these powerful little chemicals!

Finally I will say…..every time you are “hormonal”, celebrate the fact that you are a woman! Having been “cycle free” for a solid two years I cannot tell you the joy I now experience when I get my “friend”, and how much more light-hearted and forgiving of myself I am when I have a hormonal moment

You are a delicious, feminine being and you are now supposed to be like your male counterparts: predictable, even, always strong, focused, regimented and structured! It is our role to be as Mother Nature demonstrates: wild, spontaneous, sometimes harsh, sometimes beautiful, dynamic and intuitively in flow…

I hope this helps you to LOVINGLY embrace your feminine, hormones and all!

Image Credits: 1

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bridget Jane is a fully accredited and qualified Dietitian who undertook her 4 year Bachelor of Nutrition & Dietetics in Melbourne. Having once been overweight, bullied and incredibly uncomfortable in her own body, Bridget sought out at a young age to find a way to create the health and body she craved, yet in a way that was fun, easy and still allowed her to eat!

It has been almost a 19 year journey, and not a day has gone by in that time that Bridget has not studied some aspect of health, happiness and truly holistic wellbeing. Having evolved from purely a “physical/body” approach and focus, to intensely studying the mind and psychology of it all, to now a completely integrated holistic mind, body and soul approach, Bridget has truly left the title of “Dietitian” in the dust! Bridget does do it differently and to her clients that is an ever so welcome change!

www.newleafnutrition.com.au

With all those bags to push, why does this bitch look so happy?

Oh, why, yes of course, due to her devastatingly good looks, the concierge is about to rush over and alleviate her plight {sound familiar Samantha Brick?} and someone has stretched her legs to kingdom come in Photoshop.

Speaking of bags, I just spent the past two days moving house. Did I handle it with the same amount of style, panache and grace as the aforementioned?

Sheesh no.

Can the moving Gods please tell me …

Why do you always need more boxes than you think you do?

Why can you never find the end of the sticky tape?

Why can’t you find the allen key to undo your Ikea furniture?

And why do the five you actually have not fit, resulting in you having to lower your bed over the balcony {whilst praying to God it will land on the ground in one piece}?

Why are newspapers so slim nowadays?

Why do supermarkets no longer carry cardboard boxes?

Why do you have so much more shit than you realise?

Why are fridges so hard to get down stairs?

Why do we choose to live on second floor apartments, knowing fridges are so hard to get down stairs?

Why are the lifts at Fort Knox so freaking slow?

Why is moving so damn stressful, no matter how organised you are?

Now, where the feck is my hair brush? Anyone?

By Bridget Thompson

In the final part of our Health Expert, Bridget Jane’s new years health series, she reveals another two ways to avoid committing new years resolution suicide on your health goals. She clarifies what works and flags dead-end pathways that will leave you nothing but frustrated, deflated and right back where you started – Ed.

GOING GUN HO ON THE TAE BO AGAIN

I am all for moving your body and I encourage all my clients to find something they love to do that gets their heart rate going. What I am not for though, is pushing your body and mind into a regime and routine that it just darn well hates!

Above all else this creates a great deal of stress within your body and the stress response causes a release of adrenaline and cortisol into the blood stream which, long story short, encourages the body to store fat. So whilst you may think you are doing great things for your waist line by hauling yourself through gruelling workouts that you hate, in essence you are actually training it to be the world’s best fat storage machine!

As a traditionally trained dietitian, there was a point in time in which I truly believed the weight-game was a simple caloric balancing equation; eat less calories than you use, or use more than you eat. However life was to teach me the hard way that in fact there was much more to this uber simplified equation than meets the eye. I won’t go into nitty gritty here but let me please make it clear that you’re not a programmable robot and you are subject to many more laws, dynamics, influences and chemical complexities than you realise.

The most important factor in achieving successful weight loss and long term health is the stress:relaxation ratio. Simply, stress equals fat gain; and relaxation equals metabolic maximisation. I know it seems and sounds contrary to all that has and is longingly drummed into us, but all I can say in the proof is on the pudding. What works, works. And as far as I have seen, sweating, suffering and swearing your way through torture will never lead to sustained change.

Embrace movement that you love, as often and as intense as you enjoy. It’s that simple. If you happen to love sweating it out as I sometimes do, go for it! If you love meditating on a cushion and doing some gentle stretches, go with that. Variety is the spice of life and listening to your body, rather than brutally over-riding it is the key to success.

DON’T MAKE IT COMPLICATED

Without a doubt, one of the most guaranteed ways to sabotage your New Years Resolve on the health front is to make it complicated! In all honesty, good health is simple! When you start feeling like you need a degree just to make sense of what it is you “should” be doing then you know damn well you are on the wrong bandwagon! Jump off before you go nutty!

Honestly, I have that degree in nutrition and if I was to buy into all the “research” and “evidence” out there I too would go stir crazy! One group of “experts” declare that Paleo is the way to go, another that raw is the Holy Grail… one thing is for sure, everyone has an opinion, and everyone knows best!

What I believe is as I have said, good health is simple. I also believe that you are as unique as your fingerprint and that you are a dynamic, ever-changing being who’s need also change from moment to moment. What suits you now, may not in a few months, years or decades.

I do not believe there is one way that works for everyone. What I do know though is that you are the very best expert that you could possibly go to for advice and I bet that if you were to listen to yourself and take just one little ‘intuitive nudge’ at a time, you would end up finding a way that works great guns for you.

The very worst thing you can do is take on everyone elses advice and end up with a complicated mess in which you are unsure which way is up, down, left or right! Go with common sense and what feels right to you. Drink more water. Eat more veggies. Eat mindfully.

Make 2012 the year that you FINALLY listen to you and connect with what is true for you, and only you, in the realm of health, weight and fitness.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bridget Jane is a fully accredited and qualified Dietitian who undertook her 4 year Bachelor of Nutrition & Dietetics in Melbourne. Having once been overweight, bullied and incredibly uncomfortable in her own body, Bridget sought out at a young age to find a way to create the health and body she craved, yet in a way that was fun, easy and still allowed her to eat!

It has been almost a 19 year journey, and not a day has gone by in that time that Bridget has not studied some aspect of health, happiness and truly holistic wellbeing. Having evolved from purely a “physical/body” approach and focus, to intensely studying the mind and psychology of it all, to now a completely integrated holistic mind, body and soul approach, Bridget has truly left the title of “Dietitian” in the dust! Bridget does do it differently and to her clients that is an ever so welcome change!

BridgetJane

Food Body Lifestyle Guru

www.newleafnutrition.com.au

By Bridget Thompson

In part two of this four part series, Bridget, our Health Expert explains why you should go cold on the cold turkey, unless you want to commit new years resolution suicide – Ed.

If you’re anything like me and enjoy a tipple here and there, then the idea of banishing alcohol from your lifestyle makes you want to cry. No Friday evening wind down? No bubbles to add to celebrations? No beer to quench the thirst of a hot summers day? To me that just sounds like a drag.

One of my most important rules for success (if you haven’t caught on by now) is fun! I’m definitely not an advocate of irresponsible or over-drinking, and definitely a supporter of moderation, awareness and maturity, however I’ve seen over and over how people have gotten all “tough love” on themselves in this department and have only ended up suffering for as long as they can before bingeing.

I know there was a stage of my life when I was worried I could easily end up in the “alcoholic” classification, as I couldn’t come home and wind down without a wine (wine-d down). So, yes for a while I tried to abolish the vapour from my life, but quickly discovered it was a recipe for disaster as I found myself in some quite embarrassing predicaments due to “let loose binges”.

I decided I had to be smart about this. If I wanted a drink I could have a drink, but I made a pact with myself to spend more on what I was having and drink less. One glass was fine. Two would be my limit. I also made sure I had at least 2 alcohol free days (AFDs) a week.

I stayed connected to how I wanted to feel the next day (energised, hydrated and bright eyed instead of moody, thirsty and concealed) and kept reminding myself that it was totally within my control and choice. After a while the attraction to the drop waned and I found myself naturally having more AFDs.

These days how much I drink waxes and wanes naturally but barely ever do I drink on more than 3 days of the week – and all by doing it consciously and freely. No impositions or rigid rules. Just working with myself. I have used this very same technique with many of my clients and any time they tell me they are going cold turkey, you can guess right what I suggest. They always thank me in the end.

Catch up on part one of this series and follow The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide this week for the next installment.

Image Credit: 1

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bridget Jane is a fully accredited and qualified Dietitian who undertook her 4 year Bachelor of Nutrition & Dietetics in Melbourne. Having once been overweight, bullied and incredibly uncomfortable in her own body, Bridget sought out at a young age to find a way to create the health and body she craved, yet in a way that was fun, easy and still allowed her to eat!

It has been almost a 19 year journey, and not a day has gone by that Bridget has not studied some aspect of health, happiness and truly holistic well being. Having evolved from purely a “physical/body” approach and focus, to intensely studying the mind and psychology of it all, to now a completely integrated holistic mind, body and soul approach, Bridget has truly left the title of “Dietitian” in the dust! Bridget does do it differently and to her clients that is an ever so welcome change!

www.newleafnutrition.com.au

Now Christmas is over and the New Year is well and truly here, we have but little excuses left to hide behind as to why we aren’t taking action on all those well intentioned health resolutions and goals we made.

The reality is there is NEVER a perfect time to tackle your health, fitness or weight goals by the horns. So here today I would like to offer you a new way of entering the New Year and getting back in touch with your health and fitness, and one that you can sustain well into the next few New Years at least!

The top 5 ways to commit New Years resolution suicide:

1. Do A 180

Obviously making any New Year’s resolutions at all brings with it the inevitable possibility of failure. The number one thing not to do is to set yourself up for failure by attempting an about face.

What I mean by that is going totally against your nature. If you are a meat and eggs kind of gal, attempting to go vegan or vego in any degree is going to feel like walking over thumb tacks! We are designed to avoid pain and seek pleasure; it is an age old survival strategy!

So, if you would really love to bring more alive, vital and bright plant foods into your world, do it in a way you enjoy. Make it fun, be creative. Work with yourself, not against. Take small steps and focus on only one step at a time – just like I encourage my clients, one new leaf at a time.

Focusing on one new health habit at a time is enough and it also makes it much easier to sustain and build upon. So choose one thing you can do consistently and have fun with- e.g bring more green into each day; have a veggie juice 3 times a week; have salad or veggies with every evening meal, and so on.

2. DIET

Yep! You’ve no doubt heard me say this before and perhaps this one is a lot like the one before, but it must be said. If you want to totally kill your NY health resolutions, DIET. It is your guaranteed way to fail!

In all the years I have done this work I have never ever seen anyone successfully stick to a diet for life, or even for 5 years, or 2. Diets are so last century! The new cool is definitely honouring your uniqueness and finding your own way.

Learn to listen to your body and as above, work on making the one change you know within you will give you the biggest health “bang for your buck”! Some fabulous health changes that make an incredible difference to my clients within a few days include:

• Upping their water intake (the end goal is always 3 litres, however we do this in incremental stages- e.g. 1 litre first, then 1.5, then 2 and so on)
• Replacing one coffee (preferably an afternoon one) a day with a peppermint or other herbal tea. I have recently discovered Yogi Tea Sweet Chilli and it is da bomb! Sweet, satisfying and full of body. On top of that the spices and other aromatic ingredients make it incredibly healthful and nourishing for your body, mind and soul. There is also the famous Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice. Yum!

• Having a breakfast that includes bright fruit (berries are one of the best!); nuts or seeds; oats or quinoa, plus or minus a natural skim yoghurt. A divine way to start the day! You can add cinnamon too for not only great taste but also beneficial blood sugar stabilising effects.
• Replacing 1-3 red meat meals a week with fish, seafood or vegetarian options. For most people, the “dislike” of fish lives in their imagination and once they start experimenting they become converted addicts. Promise. But think outside the square too – falaffels, chick pea curries, lentil patties, dahl, bean burrito’s… sO many wonderful ideas!
  

As you can see, NO need to diet at all. Find what works for you and what you find easy and enjoyable.

Follow part two of this four part series tomorrow, when I will explain why you should go cold turkey on the cold turkey.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bridget Jane is a fully accredited and qualified Dietitian who undertook her 4 year Bachelor of Nutrition & Dietetics in Melbourne. Having once been overweight, bullied and incredibly uncomfortable in her own body, Bridget sought out at a young age to find a way to create the health and body she craved, yet in a way that was fun, easy and still allowed her to eat!

It has been almost a 19 year journey, and not a day has gone by in that time that Bridget has not studied some aspect of health, happiness and truly holistic wellbeing. Having evolved from purely a “physical/body” approach and focus, to intensely studying the mind and psychology of it all, to now a completely integrated holistic mind, body and soul approach, Bridget has truly left the title of “Dietitian” in the dust! Bridget does do it differently and to her clients that is an ever so welcome change!

www.newleafnutrition.com.au

Image Credits: 1 2

First Published in The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide on November 27, 2010.

By Gaynor Alder

Mothers everywhere, please let it be known – I’m in awe of you. Do tell me, how do you do it? I’ve been working full time this week and my niece is over from Perth with my parents – and I wonder to myself, how the feck does any woman do this motherhood malarkey with any amount of aplomb or grace?

I must confess. I used to judge those mothers at shopping centres, pushing their trolleys wearing tracksuit pants and sporting disheveled hair that looked like it was in good need of some frizz serum. Now I think they deserve a medal for just managing to have enough energy to be even pushing a trolley.

Like right now. I’m typing this with my niece wriggling around on my lap. We’ve spent the day shopping, and I’ve come to understand that shopping and children are mutually exclusive – to the point I abandoned a Country Road outlet with already discounted prices at 50% off.

I’m exhausted (hence why you’ve heard hide nor hair from me this week). Yet, when my seven year old niece turns to me and says, “aunty Gaynor, you’re the best aunty a kid could ever want, because you do art activities with me, buy me things and love me nice”, I get it. No matter how tired you are, this is the reason you do it all. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year.

You women who do this all the time, seriously, you deserve some kind of award. From what I can gather you seem to constantly run on empty, whilst working, running a home, spending quality time with your children and then trying to look after yourself. I get the tracksuit pants. I get the frizzy hair. I promise never to judge again.

As much as I love my niece (and let it be known she is the love of my live, my very reason for being) I don’t have the maternal urge. People constantly tell me that I’ll change my mind, because I’m so good with children and I’ll make a wonderful mother, but I just don’t feel it, nor do I think I’d be any chop at it.

I am at peace with that decision, even if my Dad isn’t, who I know desperately wants me to have children, and keeps telling me that I’ll end up lonely and regretful if I don’t. But I accept my limitations and I can’t live my life to make someone else happy.

Yes, I love being an aunty, but I just can’t see me being a full time mother, and that is okay. Actually it’s more than okay, because as Liz Gilbert writes in her second book Committed, being an aunty is a very special role, not only in a child’s life, but also for the mother when the aunty is able to step in and contribute something to a child’s life that a tired and exhausted mother may not always be able to.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to paint a picture of motherhood as one of complete sacrifice and recipe for fatigue, because I know some mothers who seem to take to it like ducks to water, and absolutely relish in it. But, I don’t believe I am that woman. Well, definitely not now, and at 34 years, I can’t see that changing in the foreseeable future. Then again, I could do a Nicole Kidman at 39 and change my mind, but a nanny and a cleaner sure wouldn’t go astray.

But, you mothers who are bringing up children, I think you need more praise. You need to be recognised more. Not just with breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day, but every day. Because you freaking amazing women day in and day out, who do what many may consider the normal every day acts of life, in my book are heroes. Let it be known, that I’m in awe of you.

First Published on The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide on 2nd June 2011

We’ve all worked with people who get an erection whilst wielding their over inflated sense of self importance over others, just because they have a title. Otherwise referred to as a wanker.

They regularly like to let you know that you are their subordinate (directly or indirectly), just in case you forget that you are beneath them in the corporate food chain. Even if your job title doesn’t happen to fall below them in the organisational chart, they manipulate others in higher positions (otherwise known as wrapping equally retarded senior management around their little fingers) so that they can make other people’s lives a misery.

Me? I’ve experienced my fair share. Retail in particular seemed to be a breeding ground for mediocre women lacking in substance, carrying around their clip boards and reprimanding their employees for coming back five minutes late from their break or enforcing complete silence during a stock take. The glint in their eye that they were enjoying exercising their power over you did not go undetected.

When the General Manager for the state cut me off in a conversation to speak to someone else “more important” I quickly handed in my resignation. General manager or no general manager, she wasn’t going to treat me like I was nobody. I later heard through the ex employee grapevine that she was sacked by the company after numerous complaints for how she treated her staff.

My “small penis of the year award” for 2009 went to the guy in charge of the stationery cupboard at David Jones, who despite having the key in his pocket and standing in front of said cupboard, refused to give me a pen because he only opened the cupboard between 9 and 11 am. What one was meant to do when their shift started at 12pm was beyond me, but pushing the issue only served to heighten his satisfaction over being able to hinder my ability to get what I needed. Little, little man.

Although “Fabio” did have very curly long hair and I think he fancied himself as a bit of a ladies’ man. It may have worked for him in the 80s (coupled with a double denim stonewash ensemble, or so I am imagining … actually, eeek, I think I’d rather not), but his locks only made him even more tragic in my eyes.

Another manager enjoyed asking me for files and snapping her fingers to ask where they were not a minute later. I can still hear her ugly shrill descending down the office corridor as she demanded, “GayyyyNNNOR, where is that file?” Listen lady, you may think you’re the Queen of Sheba sitting there in your big chair and fancy office (which quite frankly I find hideous in the extreme with its gaudy decor and framed glamour shot of yourself, but hey whatever works for you), but I’ve only been here a day, so how about pointing me in the direction of your filing cabinet?

The thing is this. You’re never going to make me feel small by withholding a pen from me. You’re not going to affect my confidence in my abilities by placing unrealistic demands on me. You’re not going to belittle me by sending me bullshit emails, and you’re sure as hell not going to impress me just because you’re carrying a clipboard. In fact, your hideous displays are a source of entertainment that make me laugh at you on the inside.

Do not continue to work for people who do not respect you and get their self worth by stealing yours. Kick these kinds of people to the kerb, and step over them in your Christian Louboutins with complete disregard and disgust as you would a drunken bogan spewing up in the middle of the footpath. Protect yourself from these vampires, just as you would your new designer shoes whilst stepping over said bogan.

Arm yourself with the knowledge that what you’re dealing with are very weak, small, tiny, sad, little specimens. For empowered people with style, substance and self belief, have no need to power trip over others to make themselves feel important. Do not let them steal your confidence, self worth or time and energy. Rise high above them, for you my friend are the stronger, more fabulous, better, much much better person.

By Bridget Thompson

Health doesn’t just happen. Yes, well this here is my second post on this lovely space and I will just say it was going to be about a completely different topic, but we will save that for next month! (To give you a heads up we will be tackling how to effortlessly make your menu gluten free. Yes an area that many these days struggle with!)

I will say though that this piece is a perfect pre-read to what will come next month, and in fact furthermore, a brilliant and necessary foundation.

You see, as brutal and unflattering as it may sound, health is not instant. It does not come from a packet, and will not be effortlessly achieved and maintained with a “few week’s” bootcamp, program, shake or pill….

As much as we might like to think that health will happen to us, it just won’t. I know better than anyone the life long journey and commitment creating and maintaining health involves (if you do not know my “overweight and bullied childhood story, then please go here) and I am also here to say that it can be fun and actually quite simple. I am living the example, and I have taught it to hundreds of clients.

Simple does not mean “requiring no effort”, in fact quite the contrary. It does require effort. Time. Investment. Choices. In fact health is a value we must put first if we are to forever after enjoy it’s associated benefits.

Yes, family are important, very much so.

Yes, money is important. Unfortunately the game that we call ‘reality’ insists that it is what makes the world go round.

Yet the reality remains that without your health, you are NO good to your family, in fact you may become a burden, and unfortunately health really can’t be bought (not sustainably anyway), so what good is having money when you do not have your health to enjoy it?

This might sound all idealistic but let me add that the very inspiration for this post has come from witnessing a dear and young friend (28 years of age) suffer the effects of not putting his health first.

Diagnosed over 2 years ago with Type 2 Diabetes- that is, lifestyle induced (poor diet, morbidly obese, sedentary, high alcohol intake, excessive work hours, etc) – this wonderful young man did little to really heed the relatively “kind” warning his body was sending him. Not to say that he did nothing, but in the grand scheme of things, he really didn’t shift health to Number One on the priority list.

Instead he did, as I see most people do, try to carry on as per usual- same crazy schedule, same “default” habits- yet attempting to squeeze in on top of it all, some health behaviours.

I say this with all the love in the world. And compassion. I truly do believe that in the eyes of these people, my friend included, that they are doing their best. They really are trying. Yet as one of my very best coaches once taught me, there is no trying. Exactly what is trying? Can you try to drop a pen? Try it now. Try to drop a pen. You cannot do it. It is a none existent situation. You either DO or DON’T. There is no trying.

For true and permanent health shifts to occur we must really wake up to this reality. As I quote on my business card, “Health is everything”. It is the foundation for life. Without it, all else falls apart.

We all have the opportunity to discover our true health potential. And let me say I have seen people of all backgrounds and ages recover a level of health they never thought possible. They had literally written themselves off as “too old”, “too sick”, “too beyond help”, and then together we showed them how they too could look and feel incredibly amazing, younger, fitter, more energetic, positive and passionate. It is honestly the pleasure of my life to share such a journey with a person.

What is takes though is for a true shift in priorities. In values. I dare say too a belief that you deserve to feel good. That you deserve health. That you deserve to put yourself first.

For some it is self worth issues, some a belief that career/money, family or something else is more important. At the end of the day though, as I mentioned above, what good are you without your health?

YOU are the most important person in your world. YOU are the centre. It’s about time we examined and shifted our priorities and values so that we can be all that we want and more to those and that which we love most.

What do you think?

If you have health related question that you would like Bridget to answer in her next monthly column, then please click here to send it to her.

Bridget Jane is a fully accredited and qualified Dietitian who undertook her 4 year Bachelor of Nutrition & Dietetics in Melbourne. Having once been overweight, bullied and incredibly uncomfortable in her own body, Bridget sought out at a young age to find a way to create the health and body she craved, yet in a way that was fun, easy and still allowed her to eat!

It has been almost a 19 year journey, and not a day has gone by in that time that Bridget has not studied some aspect of health, happiness and truly holistic wellbeing. Having evolved from purely a “physical/body” approach and focus, to intensely studying the mind and psychology of it all, to now a completely integrated holistic mind, body and soul approach, Bridget has truly left the title of “Dietitian” in the dust! Bridget does do it differently and to her clients that is an ever so welcome change!

BridgetJane

Food Body Lifestyle Guru

www.newleafnutrition.com.au

By Gaynor Alder

Instead of hurtling towards January one canape and creamy cocktail at a time, I’ve decided to put the clappers on Christmas, and take a week out to have a health kick to abate the partridge in a pear tree. Getting ahead of my game and all that, so when January does roll around, I’ll be five kilos up on my thighs.

DAY F*%KING ONE

Vitamins – check.

Eat only salads, bown rice, lentils and other health food marlakey - semi check. Consumed salad for both lunch and dinner, but was also tempted by chocolate mousse cake in the fridge. It would have gone in the bin if I hadn’t of eaten it, so I was being environmentally sustainable. Do I get points for that?

Consume my entire body weight in green tea and water in lieu of vino – oh, crap! Two cups of tea, two litres of water, but the bottle of leftover vino somehow found its way to my glass. Is that being on or off the wagon? I thought the saying for good behaviour was getting back on the wagon, but isn’t that where all the liquor is? If it’s off the wagon, then the only way I’m jumping off is if there’s a sign in the distance that says Dan Murphy’s is having a two for one sale on Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc.

Yoga – downward dog anyone? The only stretching I’ve done today is to lift my arm to change the channel on the remote. I wonder if all the typing I’ve done on the keyboard counts at all towards exercise points?

… so clearly not the kind of start I was hoping for. BUT, yes, and oh but, let’s not throw the aspargaus out with the bath water. Because there’s always tomorrow, and don’t the best laid plans always need a bit of tweaking? Isn’t it easy to give up and let a bad day get the best of us? But, that’s not what us modern women are about.

We’re about being real and knowing that we may have a few hiccups along the way, but we’re still going to remain committed to our goals. We’re not going to let a few extra glasses of Sauvignon Blanc or a half eaten chocolae mousse cake thwart our efforts. We’re going to get back up, and commit to change. One can of lentils at a time.

Stay tuned tomorrow for day two. A-ha-ha-hem, promise I’ll try harder.

Gaynor Alder, Editor-in-Chief of The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide is a Melbourne based writer with a penchant for vintage glamour and all things Parisian. When not gallivanting around the countryside as a Travel Writer or being the Style Expert for ‘Art of the Cocktail Hour’, you will find her here, penning her thoughts and writing of her day to day adventures. You may even get a sneak preview of her book, but that all depends on her mood – a direct reflection of the state of her hair on any one day.

By Shitika Anand

I’ve never met her, I hardly know her, but her news hit me hard. My heart felt heavy. A heavy and sunken feeling that seemed quite ridiculous afterwards. I’ve always looked up to this woman. Everything about her is admirable, her career, witty humour, fitness ardour and innate capability to make relationships work.

Two weeks ago, E! host and journalist, Giuliana Rancic, revealed she had breast cancer. Her doctors have said it’s 100% curable as it was detected in very early stages. She will be fine. She will survive.

In the past, Rancic has ran two half marathons. She’s known for her controversially fit physique, healthy eating lifestyle. She also edits a health and fitness blog. Question is – how can she have cancer?

36-year-old, extremely fit woman, who treats her body like a temple shouldn’t be getting cancer. That’s not in the rulebook. It’s not in my ‘C rulebook,’ at least.

How wrong was I? Very.

Due to its astonishing quality, the news made headlines around the world, and I found myself alternating between the mirror and the floor. For the first time, in the last 22 years, I performed a self-breast examination.

Such is the power of the C-word.

This fatal disease can overshadow the monstrous of all storms and chomp away years from your precious life, all within minutes.

We can choose to live in fear and play the wait-game. Or we can leap up and prevent this.

The body isn’t a dustbin; it needs the love and care. Forget supermodel-hyped superfoods (looking at you, Miranda Kerr), a stroll along the aisle of your price regulated grocery store can minimise by the risk of cancer, drastically.

Revamp your pantry and fridge with wallet-friendly foods. Book an appointment with your gynaecologist. And smile! Your body says ‘thank you’.

Here are the top 10 cancer-fighting foods:

• Yellow and Green Vegetables: Not just your wardrobe let your insides wear ‘colour’ as well. Include vegetables like broccoli, yellow capsicum, cauliflower, cabbage and brussels sprouts to your diet. Also known as cruciferous vegetables, these beauties are rich in cancer-fighting phytochemicals, such as sulforaphane.
• Green Tea: Cancer Council NSW supports the intake of green, black or oolong tea, which contain antioxidant polyphenols called ‘catechins’. These are known to halt tumour cells and protect healthy cells from getting damaged. Consume three cups per day (without sugar) to help neutralise free radicals. If you’re not a fan of natural tea, add some raw honey to eliminate bitterness.
• Red Wine: As tempting as consuming an entire bottle of red with a side of green curry on a Friday night sounds, moderation is the key for red wine. A glass a day can actually help stave off cancer according to rigorous scientific researches performed over the years. The compound found in grape skins inhibits cell proliferation, also a great source of antioxidants.
• Tomato: Tomatoes have never received the kind of love and recognition they truly deserve. They’re very high in vitamin C and lucopene, the natural antioxidant that’s responsible for its redness. To attain its best properties, cook it on the stove. The body absorbs Lycopene better when tomatoes are cooked by being made into tomato puree, soup, sauce or ketchup. Remember to keep the sugar at bay, though.
• Turmeric: It doesn’t just spice up a curry, but has more health benefits to it than what you’d imagine. Popularly found in Indian and Thai curries, this natural anti-inflammatory inhibits the growth of new blood vessels in tumours. It’s all in the magic of ‘curcumin’, the active ingredient in turmeric. Add a pinch to homemade soups, curries or stews.

• Grapefruit: What’s not to love about a fruit that demands calories to metabolise in the body? Basically, you’re eating it and your body is burning calories to burn the food. Amazing, huh? This bittersweet citrus fruit contains phytonutrients that have anti-tumour activity. Its citric acid increases alkalinity in the body. Also brilliant for detoxification of the liver.
• Avocado: In 2007, Sydney’s Garvan Institute conducted a research that discovered a compound found in the leaves and fruit of the avocado tree can kill breast cancer cells. It’s the richest source of a powerful antioxidant, glutathione, that’s proven to block thirty different cancer-causing carcinogens. Holy Guacamole!
• Pumpkin seeds: These tiny babies are often shoved in the bin when the kitchen is inundated with a sweet and husky aroma of pumpkin pie. A great source of amino acids, Vitamin D and L-tryptophan (helps reduce stress – winner!), pumpkin seeds are a must in the shopping trolley. Delicious as a snack by itself, in your homemade trail mix or when added to your morning cereal. Cancer Council Australia recommends an intake of 300-600 mgs to boost the immune system.
• Seaweed: Contains high levels of vitamin B12, chlorophyll, protein and fibre, this 100% natural extract causes cancer cells to self-destruct. Eat it in sushi form or roast it at home (super easy). Sprinkle olive oil and rock salt, roast for 15-20 minutes in the oven – perfect on-the-go snack.
• Vitamin D: Not commonly found in food, this sunshine vitamin combusts breast cancer cells in the most natural form. Since it’s almost summer time, there’s no reason to not eat your lunch outside in the park. If you have fair skin, the recommended time is about 10 to 15 minutes each day or ten times as long if you have dark skin pigmentation. But always remember to slap on SPF30+ sunscreen before stepping out. Sun’s harmful UV rays can cause a contradictory effect.

Foods that promote cancer cells:

• Trans Fat: It not only raises your bad cholesterol levels (LDL), resulting in heart diseases and strokes but also fuels the development of cancer cells. A 2008 study conducted in America found women who consumed the most trans fat had a 75 percent increased risk of breast cancer. This includes margarines, hydrogenated oils and frozen meals. Read the labels and shop smartly.
• White sugar: To metabolise white sugar, while the pancreas makes insulin, your liver makes something called IGF, which is one of the chiefadvocators of breast cancer. Substitute it with natural Manuka honey, raw sugar or agave nectar.
• Processed food: Drop all processed foods that contain a chemical called, acrylamide. In 2002, Swedish researchers found the chemical to cause tumours in rats. Common foods such as potato chips, biscuits, sugary breakfast cereals, frozen pies and puff pastries, contain high levels of this substance.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Shitika Anand has a very flashy certificate in her drawer that reads “Bachelors of Journalism – with distinction”. But she finds her gradually increasing beauty cupboard and subsequent by-lines more rewarding. When she’s not tweeting or rambling on her blog, ‘Sweet Dreams in my World’, you’ll find her sitting in a corner of her nearest bookshop and hiding under a monstrous pile of international magazines.

She is a fully accredited and qualified dietitian who undertook her 4 year Bachelor of Nutrition & Dietetics in Melbourne. Having once been overweight, bullied and incredibly uncomfortable in her own body, Bridget sought out at a young age to find a way to create the health and body she craved, yet in a way that was fun, easy and still allowed her to eat!

So without further ado, let me hand you over to Bridget …

I think most of you would agree that somewhere within you - either quite easily discernable, or more deeply buried, there lies a bitch. An unrelenting, unreasonable, critical and downright rude cow who can cause a person to run a mile with their tail between their legs just by glancing at them.

For the most part, this bitch is a magnificent aspect of ourselves that can serve and protect in so many gorgeous ways. When we use her properly, people don’t dare to cross us wrongly, or if they do they never do it again, we get what we want and we move forward in life confidently, with ease and a whole lotta “Yeah baby!”

However, when used wrongly, or plain and simply just too much, then a whole lot of unhappiness can ensue.

One of the main areas we do not consciously realize this bitch can run rampant is within ourselves. Always expecting, pressuring, analysing, judging, criticising, she just doesnot let up! Nothing is EVER good enough and when we do finally do something right, instead of praise, she turns her attention to yet something else we’ve stuffed up! Am I right?

Yep, if we are not careful, this unrelenting biarch can well and truly make life one uphill battle after another.

The reason I want to address this with you today is because from here on in I will be sharing with you in this monthly column, my utter most passion and that is health. You see for me, as a young overweight, picked-on, book-loving, couch-potato kid, health wasn’t so easy. I constantly felt tired, self conscious, uncomfortable, inadequate and just plain FAT!

All I ever wanted was to fit into a pair of trendo jeans and wear all the cool stuff my friends were wearing instead of the stretch, fluoro lycra that seemed to be the only thing that would fit my horizontally oversized body.

There were a few challenges to my would-be journey to health and the body I craved and they were:

a) I love food and LOTS of it

b) I deter vomiting and was not prepared to utilise that method to get into jeans

c) I hated physical activity and was also tragically bad at it! You know those kids picked last and grudingly on the school sports teams? That was me! I was also the kid that if you “stood on the lines” you loved me, and for most that was a totally gross suggestion!

So yes, my journey to where I am today was not so smooth, or easy, but I did my best to make it fun! In the early days I was really good at what I have now come full circle to realise is the missing key ingredient in a successful health/weight journey- and that is being your own best ally.

I never told myself “you can’t have”, “you shouldn’t”, you have to”, and so forth. Deprivation, dieting and struggle were NOT part of the equation. I focused on all the yummy foods I could eat, how I could make all my favourite things just a “little” healthier. I worked gradually and with curious wonder, excited about all the fabulous things I didn’t yet know and had to discover.

At some point however, I got off the “lets make it fun, enjoyable and sustainable” track, and somehow the bitch took over in full force. EVERYTHING was judged, analysed, criticised and picked to pieces- food, exercise, myself, everything….! Life, health and my body all became serious and matters that I could not relax about or enjoy. I constantly focused on being “right” all the time and prided myself on being “perfect” in so many areas; on being so disciplined.

A wall was built between myself and others and anything or anyone that threatened to interfere with or ruin my regime was promptly steamrolled. I loved being “on top of it”, of feeling so in control. Little could I see that so many areas of my life suffered because of my intense and irrational ways.

I created a world in which the way I was was acceptable. My partner accepted me, I didn’t have much time for friends, but those I did also endured me. All the while I had no idea that I had become a slave to an unrelenting, insatiable and condemning bitch. Constant criticism was my companion- again I really had no idea. I was a robot. I thought I was happy.

Along the way I have had many layers of learning that have shown me just how small, menial and superficial I had made my life. I had no time to ever stop and smell the roses, and quite frankly I didn’t understand why I would want to. These days I buy myself at least two bunches of flowers a week and admire and appreciate there beauty with so much gratitude it’s hard to describe. I enjoy enriching relationships and have time to talk to friends, strangers and family!

There is so much to share with you about the challenges that did ultimately help me to wake up, but we have plenty of time to get to know each other. For now I want to leave you with this one point.

If you cannot truly say you like yourself, if you constantly criticise and judge yourself, pushing to always be better, more, faster, prettier, then life will be a never ending treadmill and deep below fear will be your fuel. You may enjoy life however it will pale in comparison to what is possible when you simply make friends with you and decide that you are going to be your own best cheerleader.

In the area of health, and weight, I promise you that too, unless you learn to truly love and honour yourself, you will always ride the merry-go-round of “sometimes good”, “sometimes bad”, always “need to do something to feel/look better”…it never ends it just goes round and round, up and down. The alternative is that you decide to enjoy the journey as it indeed informs the destination.

Take advice from my wise 10 year old self; have fun, focus on what you love and what makes you feel good; don’t deprive and never EVER diet! And most of all, EASE UP on yourself! You are perfectly imperfect in every moment. Start to notice what IS great about you; what you DO do right; why where you are is exactly where you are meant to be; and you CAN do anything you put your mind to, IF you have YOU on your side!

Lots of Love,

BridgetJane

Food Body Lifestyle Guru

www.newleafnutrition.com.au

In our minds we tell ourselves that can apply for that new job, open our hearts to a new relationship or take off for overseas shores  … but deep down, fear is in the driver’s seat, and in reality it’s driving us around in an orange Datsun 120Y (definitely not draped in a scarf, Grace Kelly-esque in a Mercedes Benz).

So, how do we break free of the deep rooted fears holding us back? How do we stop fear running our lives? How do we let fear know that we’re in charge and that it can plain bugger off?

First of all we need to identify exactly what the fear is. Nine times out of ten, it’s some crappy low life from our past, holding us hostage in the present. But then there are the other fears – born of the what ifs and the potential for things to go wrong in the future.

What we need to understand is that fear, no matter how old, needs to firstly be honoured and respected. Like a plane crash victim who attempts to board a plane five years later. Because you can bet your bottom dollar that they are going to be reaching for the valium once the plane starts to leave the tarmac.

But then, as the plane starts to ascend into the clouds, and we move through things that were previously tarnished with bad memories, we realise that we are safe. For each time we do the thing we thought we could not, we are one step closer to being free.

Of course, it’s not always as easy as that, because we can’t always board a plane and have a hostess dispense us hot towels and serenity.We have to work through it step by step sans frequent flyer miles – we have to feel every inch of the fear as it holds our psyches hostage and has us breathe into brown paper sick bags.

This is your captain speaking. Please listen carefully to the following safety demonstration:

1. In case of emergency hyperventilation, please count slowly backwards from ten.

Yeah right, as if counting back from ten is going to calm the mounting hysteria this is escalating by the second in my mind? But, seriously, honest and for true, sometimes all it takes is a few moments to breathe and relax to realise that everything is okay, and all is going to be well.

2. Please note your emergency evacuation exits, here, here and here. If you can’t find them, then do please call a friend.

So often we bottle up our problems, when calling a friend could easily release them and have us realise how silly they were in the first place. Our friends help us to put things in perspective and alleviate the merry go round of thoughts needlessly terrorising our psyches.

3. Remember to fit your oxygen masks before tending to your fellow passenger.

Yes, sometimes you really do need to put yourself first. Like seriously. Shutting yourself off from the world (i.e. turning off your phone, and not logging into your Facebook) can be just what you need to get back in touch with yourself and process what you need to.

4. If you need further assistance, then please call one of the air stewards.

There is never any shame in admitting you need help. And help out there, there is. There are many counsellors and professionals that can guide you through what you are going through, to help you permanently alleviate the fears that are holding you back from living the life you really want to live.

How do you alleviate fear in your life?

By Shitika Anand

Heard of the saying, “love makes you fat”? Well, my story argues otherwise.

Eight years ago, my shameless teenage admiration for a boy I played basketball with escalated to a level that changed my life. And by changed my life, I mean, it really did.

This one particular evening is watermarked in my head. I remember dodging the ball around a court whilst adjusting my hair to grab his attention. Giggling like a silly teenager, attempting to talk about WWE wrestlers and even sharing a packet of chips with him, everything was fresh and very cute.

Until, one day he randomly yelled out five words that resonated like a broken record in my head.

Baby Elephant. Baby elephant with thunder thighs.

I skipped dinner that night. I stood in front of the mirror to analyse my ‘thunder thigh’ situation. Don’t get me wrong but I was a chubby teenager who loved cheese, cola and chips. Hearing the after-effects of the food from the boy was a huge realisation. Apparently more than my mother’s constant nagging of why I had to eat my vegetables.

Even though the one-way love ended hastily, my journey to a fit and healthy life started thereof. Four dress sizes, twenty kilos and a truckload of spinach later, I’m implausibly grateful to him for his honest, also nasty words.

Every push up was dedicated to the vision of an elephant. I stunned and awed my family when I revolted against eating anything that was white or processed on my plate. I even went down the wrong street to shed the unwanted kilos, from unhealthy diets to spending four-to-five hours at the gym. These teary and extremely challenging eight years have taught me a lot of lessons. And I want to share them with all you MWSG ladies.

In this green corner, we won’t blindly follow celebrity diets or talk about the perfect exercise for abs. This is a corner where we release our inhibitions and take a step closer to leading a healthy life. We don’t obsess over our love handles or numbers on the weighing scale, but we talk about how to live in the present and enjoy the peas on the plate.

Change is uncomfortable and we will embrace that uneasiness. Whether it’s through a healthier pantry or by the means of increasing the intake of Vitamin D, we’ll first aim for a hale and hearty mind before we torture the body.

So gather around ladies, because this corner is going to open numerous green, clean and lean doors for you. Well, at least aim to. So many that you wouldn’t need to stick a baby elephant’s photo on the wall of your bedroom for motivation purposes.

Are you with me?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Shitika Anand has a very flashy certificate in her drawer that reads “Bachelors of Journalism – with distinction”. But she finds her gradually increasing beauty cupboard and subsequent by-lines more rewarding. When she’s not tweeting or rambling on her blog, ‘Sweet Dreams in my World’, you’ll find her sitting in a corner of her nearest bookshop and hiding under a monstrous pile of international magazines.

There was a time when I relished being healthy, trading in my Marie Clare for health magazines, drinking water and eating only organic food for the inner glow and the energy that it gave me. A picture of health was I.

But then, I was knocked around with health problems, and my health became a serious issue. I had to take so many vitamins that I rattled when I walked, and quite frankly, it sucked. When I got better, my all or nothing nature took hold, and I went on a bender for a number of years, consuming my entire body weight in vino and chain smoking cigarettes like a bingo lady.

But now, I’m getting back in touch with my health. I abstain from alcohol four to five days of the week, drink water and swallow more fish oil than a pubescent teenager with PMT. However, I’ve lost the joie de vivre I used to have for it. I do it because I know it’s good for me and if I don’t fatigue comes knocking back at my door, barging in uninvited and strapping me to me bed and holding my life to ransom.

So I still find it quite a chore to do all the things I need to do maintain my health. Drink water. Avoid gluten. Take vitamins. Abstain from alcohol. Quit smoking. Eat well. Do some yoga. Anyone for a gin and tonic?

But what I need is a shift in perception. Sure I have to manage these things, but can I enjoy them again? Can I find the passion I once had for embracing my health with all the gusto of Carrie Bradhsaw at a shoe sale.

So, whilst I sit here sipping on a green tea, tell me, do you find taking care of your health a chore or a pleasure? What inspires you to keep healthy?

Why? Because I’m used to managing things on my own. Translation – clamming up until I reach breaking point before I ask for help. Hardly a healthy pattern is it? Certainly not smart.

As modern women, magazines have cut through the superwoman myth, telling us that it’s okay if we can’t hold down the career, motherhood and a social life – and god forbid, time for ourselves. But has this really infiltrated our psyche, and allowed the peace of not having to do it all on our own free us? Do we deep down still expect more from ourselves than is humanly possible?

For me, as someone who works a day job, whilst working towards a dream of becoming a financially self sustained writer on the back end of chronic fatigue syndrome for a decade (which I have thankfully recovered from), things sometimes fall through the cracks.  And, holy hell, on top of that I beat myself up for not having frizz free hair seven days of the week, perfectly manicured nails or tending to my laundry basket as much as it demands.

As much as I know many of these things don’t really matter, they still quietly wreak havoc on my psyche and have a picnic terrorising my thoughts:

Psyche:  “Seriously, are you really going to leave the house with hair looking like that?”

Gaynor: “Oh, but please just let me hit snooze on my alarm a little longer. Pretty please. I’ve been working hard all week long.”

Psyche: “And tell me, what are you going to do about that bag of dry cleaning that has been sitting in the corner for weeks?”

Gaynor: “I promise I will get to it soon. How does tomorrow sound?

Psyche: “When was the last time you called your friends? They’ll disown you soon.”

Gaynor: “I know, yes, I’m such a bad friend.”

Instead of calling a friend when life gets on top of me, I bottle it up and try to manage it all on my own. This is especially crazy when I’m surrounded by beautiful friends who would give their right arm to listen to and support me, as I do them. So why don’t I lavish the same love on myself, as I do them?

Perhaps it’s just my DNA. The way that I am. But, there’s also my inherent fear of burdening people after being burnt by some shabby friends in the past, and not wanting to be judged when I lay things out exactly as they are, no holds barred.

However, those friends who weren’t there for me and showed me their true colours are no longer part of my present. The friends who are in my life now, all offer something different, but one thing is consistent – they love and respect me and want what is best for me – and they will never judge.

This is the beauty of friendship – we have different friends we can turn to for different things. One will comfort you and make you feel safe as you let down your guard and cry into a box of tissues. Another will shake their pom poms for you and give you advice to help you get back up and reach for all that you deserve. Another may dish out some tough love when you need it most (but in just the right way for you). Another will crack a bottle of vino and light your cigarette as you grapple with a crisis. And another will spend hours on the phone with you, just listening and letting you pour your heart out to them so that you can find the strength to dust yourself off and keep on going.

No matter what type of friend they are, one thing is for sure – we can’t do this thing called life without them. We are not superwomen and we can’t do it all on our own. So stop beating yourself up, yes, right this very instant, because no matter how together everyone around us may look, we all fall down. We all struggle from time to time. We all have moments when we think we can’t cope. However, one thing is for sure, it’s our friends who keep us going.

But don’t forget, the very best friend you can have in this world is yourself. So when that little voice in your head starts giving you a hard time, give it its marching orders, because, hell, we can’t always be frizz free god damn it.

Image Credits: 1

Having just returned from a beach side holiday alongside the pristine waters of Boracay in the Philippines, I was in awe of their photos and tales of their time in this beautiful paradise. Their top stress of the day was whether they swam in the beach before or after breakfast – a breakfast that consisted of mangoes and other exquisite local food delivered each morning to their 5 star resort.

After my friend told me how much I would love it, I began lamenting on how many people would find it difficult to just be in such a beautiful place. This is not the kind of holiday filled with things to do and sights to see, rather the kind where you fully surrender yourself to the moment and the beauty of your surroundings. No laptops. No iPads. And certainly no mobile phones.

The reason I love these friends and their family so much, is that they have the most beautiful outlook on life. They know what’s important and what is not, and just being around them, makes you want what they have. They are truly inspiring people who show others how to live a rich and fulfilling life.

This presence is certainly part of my DNA and something that I resonate with. However my relationship with time can sometimes be shaky. I work a high pressure day job with never ending deadlines and an unrelenting schedule, whilst working towards my dream of becoming a financially self sustained writer. And these dreams are not only something I strive for because I want to do what I love, but because I also want to live a life where I am more present and have time for what’s important. Every single day.

For, isn’t the present moment what it’s all really about? Isn’t that where true peace and happiness really lies? But for so many of us, we are constantly striving towards the next goal, the next deadline, the next achievement and discarding the present like a dirty rag.

These friends of mine inspire me to be more present. Enjoy the journey and not the destination (yes that old nutshell). However, I am sure I am not alone, when I say, for me, being present requires work. Mediation. A bit of yoga. Chamomile tea if you wish. And when I lose my footing with the present moment, I sometimes reach for a bottle of wine more than is good for me.

For us who can’t always be present, meditation is they key. But, meditation has always raised an equal fear of anxiety – thus canceling out its benefits. The mere thought of sitting quietly with myself for five minutes, can raise more anxiety than I had before I sat down and starting saying omm. However, I am learning that I am the master of these thoughts, and rather than attaching anxiety to them, I can in fact let them float through my mind, rather that resist them.

For meditation isn’t about being perfect. Yes, thoughts will come and thoughts will go (oh my gosh, did I pay that bill, have I replied to that email yet, and oh shit, did I forget someone’s birthday last week?) . But within this space, there will be moments where your mind will let go, even for a few seconds. A few seconds that will mean that when you walk back out into the world you will notice the beauty of simple things more. The sound of a bird chirping. The pretty colours of a flower. The smell of jasmine wafting through the air. Being more present to a conversation with a friend.

And this is something worth working on.