I know that you have the talent and ability to create and live a good life regardless of anything I tell you or not. However now that I am a parent to two children {a daughter and a son} with wonderfully strong spirits whose presence has turned my life upside down, every day I walk the line between providing guidance and reassurance and telling them things that I know as wisdom but they hear as nagging.

Me who is you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jo Bassett from Living Savvy is an executive and performance coach, team leader and facilitator, wife, mother of two spirited little people, big-time dreamer and idea explorer (with a Masters Degree and PhD research underway).

She founded the living savvy movement to inspire people like you to live your dream life, and to give you the tools you need to make it happen. Click here to follow her on Facebook.

First Published in the Teenage Girl’s Survival Guide, April 2 2012

After reading Gaynor Alder’s most eloquent post on this subject, I thought long and hard about the very stern talking-to I’d like to have with my teenage self.

There were so many things I’d want her to know: that she should never clip the tags off her Beanie Babies and hang onto them for life and also find a way to buy some Microsoft stock; that the damage born of that savage tan she was sporting now would require thousands of dollars of beauty products and services to attempt to undo; that her seemingly perfect peers had already peaked and were actually on the down-slope {she’d be able to confirm this one day thanks to a yet-to-be-invented time-suck called Facebook}; that her “best friend” was in fact a catty, jealous back-stabber; and most importantly, that her dad wouldn’t live to see 60 and she’d better cherish every precious minute she had with him while she had the chance.

But then I realised something significant: That bitch wouldn’t listen to a word I said.

Sixteen-year-old me was a stubborn little narcissist. She thought she knew everything (in stark contrast to her parents, who knew absolutely nothing), and that the daily drama of her teen life was profoundly important.

Would J. ever notice her?

Should she pad her bra a bit and if she did would anyone know?

How could she get out of PE?

Would she ever find that prom dress she saw in Seventeen?

Would she make the cheerleading squad?

Who would she sit with at lunch?

Why wasn’t her Thin Thighs in 30 Days book working?

These things actually kept her up at night. {I’m not laughing at you dear; I’m laughing with you.} There may have been a big, crazy world outside of her window, but she was too busy crushing on boys who didn’t know she existed and scrutinizing her pores in the nearest magnifying mirror to notice most of it.

If I could sit down with that insecure, misguided, brilliant-but-clueless broad, I’d simply say this: None of that shallow, petty crap matters any more, not one teeny tiny microscopic bit. I’d tell her that it was okay that she was so self-centered, but only because I knew she’d grow out of it. Oh yeah, and I’d promise her that everything would turn out even better than she could have dared to hope in the end.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jenna McCarthy is an internationally published writer, TED speaker, former radio personality and the author of five books including If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-so-handy Man You Married {Berkley Books, 2011}.

{Please note that it says the blah-blah-blah man you married, not the one she married.Her husband likes it when she points that out.}

Her work has appeared in more than sixty magazines, on dozens of web sites and in several anthologies including the popular Chicken Soup series. Jenna likes it when you like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter {although she can be quite profane so you might want to keep the kids away}. You can find out how Jenna survived tanorexia and watch the hilarious trailer for her new book by visiting her website.

Image Credit // 1

The concept for this column comes from a book called ‘ Dear Me by James Woods. He asked celebrities to write letters to their sixteen-year-old selves. “No matter how accomplished and confident they seem today, at sixteen, they were like the rest of us—often unsure, frequently confused, and usually in need of a little reassurance.”- Ed.

By Gaynor Alder

Gaynor Alder talks with Sheri Bomb – a rockabilly, vintage, retro and western loving gal. She finds out what inspires her, where she likes to hit town with her cherry red nails and gets the scoop on her upcoming adventures.

1) You blog about Kustom Kulture, Rockabilly, Western, Vintage, Retro, Atomica; and 1930s to 1950s era pin up, fashion, music, style, lifestyle and décor. At what age did you discover your passion for this and how did it come about?

Growing up my mother was always into 50s Rock ‘n’ Roll, mostly the music. Brought up on a steady diet of this and having grown up with my own creative flair it was really only a matter of time.

By the time I turned 18 I was sick of the modern culture and just happened to stumble upon a quaint little bar one night when the in-house Rockabilly band was playing. It felt like coming home and from then I was hooked.

There began not only my love affair with The Ten Fours, but with the entire Rockabilly culture as I slowly began to discover, to my delight, every aspect of this amazing culture.

2) We love vintage glamour here at The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide. You have a particular penchant for the ’30s to ’50s. Who are your style and fashion icons from this era and why?

Of course the gorgeous sirens of the silver screen, from Marilyn Monroe to Rita Hayworth, Sophia Loren and pin ups like Bettie Page but to be honest, my main fashion heroes were the housewives.

These women always looked impeccable even when cleaning the house, cooking a meal or ducking into town for some groceries and without all the help of the modern conveniences we have today.

That is no mean feat in my book but these ladies achieved simple and stylish elegance with such flattering shapes and gorgeous fabrics.

3) Words are your weapons. Tell us more about your blog and why you started blogging?

I adore living the Rockabilly and Kustom Kulture lifestyle and incorporating it into as many aspects of my life as I can makes me extremely happy.

I have also always been interested in or affiliated with writing in some way and for years I had been saying I would love to contribute to Rockabilly/Kustom Kulture publications but had never done anything about it.

One day I just decided that the best way to combine the two was to start blogging about the lifestyle I lead and gain some writing exposure for myself at the same time. I must say, it has been effective for both in spades!

4) You mention magazine contributions, which publications have you been featured in? 

I have been very lucky to contribute to a number of national and international publications and have a few more on the horizon but so far, my main achievements include:

Cruzin – Australian hot rod magazine (#135 Greazefest Feature)

Vintage Caravan Magazine – Australian magazine (#5 Greazefest Feature)

Cruzin – Australian hot rod magazine (#132 Kat’s Kulture write up on Sheri Bomb)

Cruzin – Australian hot rod magazine (#130 Garterbelts & Gasoline Feature)

Pinstriping & Kustom Graphics – International magazine (#28 Garterbelts & Gasoline Feature)

Pin Up Perfection – International pin up magazine (#8 Bettie Page Reveals All Feature)

Plan 9 – Australian alternative magazine (#1 Iron Fist Feature)

Greazefest website – Kustom Kulture Fashion Article

Rusty Pinto Combo – Band Review (Facebook, Myspace & ReverbNation)

5) Reading your fabulous blog, I hear that music moves your soul. What music do you listen to and why does it move your soul so?

My music tastes are actually quite varied and I enjoy everything from Rockabilly to Psychobilly, Surf, Rock, Punk, Blues, Soul and (heaven forbid!) even a little Pop sometimes.

Music is quite an emotional experience for me so it’s not about what genre it is or who it’s by, it’s about the way it makes me feel when I hear it. That being said, I adore seeing music live and that is how I spend most of my weekends.

My favourite musicians or bands at the moment would have to be The Ten Fours, Mitchy & The Mayhem County Boys, Rusty Pinto, The ReChords…really I could just go on forever!

6) You’ve just recently been on holiday to Melbourne. Where were your favourite haunts and why?

Shopping-wise I spent up big at the Benefit counter in Myer, the Soap & Glory wall in Kit, Rubi and Betts Shoes in Chapel St, Gasoline Queen also in Chapel St and Faster Pussycat in Fitzroy – all quite self-explanatory I believe.

As far as nightlife goes I really didn’t journey too far from The LuWow. Aside from heading to The Espy one night, we pretty much set up camp The LuWow. It’s an AMAZING tiki cocktail bar in Fitzroy that really has to be seen to be believed but it offers the best atmosphere, décor, tunes, cocktails and dancing a girl could ever ask for – I never wanted to leave!

7) You hail from Queensland. You’ve just painted your nails in your favourite shade of cherry red. What next? Where should peeps interested in the same things as you head to when visiting the sunshine state?

We’re very lucky up here in that there is usually always something to go to every weekend. Generally rockabilly gigs at some of the usual haunts like the Black Bear Lodge, the Joynt, the Beetle Bar and Morningside RSL.

However we also get spoiled with a lot of regular festivals, weekenders and big events like the Twilight Hot Rod Show on the Australia Day long weekend, the Garterbelts & Gasoline Nostalgia Festival over the May Day long weekend, Greazefest on the first weekend in August, the Johnny Cash Tribute in October and the Rockabilly Christmas Party in December, not to mention plenty of ‘big name’ gigs throughout the year.

You mention the GB&G Nostalgia Festival, a quick glance at your blog tells us you’re playing a role in this year’s festival. Can you tell us more about that, any scoops?

I’m very lucky to have been named the Official Blogger for this year’s festival so I’ve been involved in a lot of promotion and social media in the lead up however I’ll also be Assistant Pin Up Coordinator over the actual weekend of the festival. Aside from what has already been publicised, I can’t give too much away but suffice to say that THIS year is shaping up to be even bigger and better than LAST year – and I didn’t think that was even possible!”

Held at the top of the beautiful Mount Tambourine, the 4-day long festival brings together the best of the Rockabilly and Kustom Kulture. From rockin’ tunes and both national and international bands, to a heart-stopping hot rod show, vintage soap box derby, low brow art show and of course the infamous pin up competition judged by none other than the world famous US pin up photographer Mitzi Valenzuela.

9) What advice do you have for women of style and substance yet to be discovered?

Stop waiting to be discovered and make yourself known! It’s only a very lucky few people in this world who actually get ‘discovered’. Most of us have to work hard to get where we want to be, be persistent and find every way possible to get your name and skill set noticed. Any woman of style and substance has the class, strength, confidence and intelligence to find a way to make it happen.

I know from experience, I sat waiting to be ‘discovered’ for too long. As soon as I actually started to be proactive and do things, my blog and my writing quickly took off. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re heading or how you’re going to get there, the important thing is to just take the first step.

10) What’s next for Sheri Bomb and your blog?

Sheri Bomb is going through some very exciting changes at the moment. I’ve just registered for an ABN, have moved from a blogspot address over to my very own domain and am currently in the process of having the blog completely redesigned, which means saying goodbye to the western theme.

As much as I love my western theme, I feel like the blog has been lacking the punch and colour that reflects my personality. So the new design will still be sticking to my Rockabilly/Retro roots but will feature a lot more colour and fun. But never fear, I’ll still be the same old Sheri Bomb and my words will still be my weapons.

W: www.sheribomb.com.au
E: contact@sheribomb.com.au
T: @SheriBombBlog
F: facebook.com/SheriBombBlog

 Q: Why did you decide to become a life coach?

Becoming a life coach was a natural step for me, an extension of what I had been doing for over a decade prior. My background is in Occupational Therapy and as a life coach I draw upon my  experience working with government, non-government and not for profit organisations in a variety of roles including team leader, facilitator, consultant and educator.

I have worked in senior clinical positions in mental health services where I focused on working with young people with a mental illness.  I also established an employment agency that specialised in supporting people who experienced a mental illness find or keep employment and lectured at the University of Queensland and Griffith University.

I was keen to move away from working within “sickness” models and use my expertise to support a wider group of people achieve what is important to them and create meaningful lives. I was inspired to start Living Savvy through my work as a coach and a consultant where I have come to know many fabulous women.

As I listened to their stories, I began to recognise the key characteristics that distinguished those women who were fulfilled, happy and truly successful. Of course, each story was different – some women were very rich while others lived incredibly simple lives, some had families they loved dearly while others treasured complete independence, some had endured tremendous struggle and loss.

I wanted to create a place where these stories could be shared.  I believe that women learn through storytelling and that it is difficult not to hear a story and not be moved in some way. Story telling is a magical gateway through which we can connect with others  and emerge educated, enriched and perhaps even a little enlightened. This is why I created Living Savvy has a place where people can come and be inspired and entertained by the stories shared.

Q: What does it mean to live savvy?

When you are living savvy you are living your life with an understanding and awareness of what you have in life, what you desire and the pieces that are missing.  Living savvy is how you create your dream life – one that is fulfilling, satisfying and joyful.  What does your dream life look like? Who’s in it? How do you spend your time and energy? What will you leave behind?

The answers to these questions, and the vision of your dream life, is as unique as you are.  Living savvy is not about fixing something that is ‘broken’ and it’s not about radically overhauling your life.  Living savvy is about the choices you make every day to create a life that is fulfilling, satisfying and joyful.

Living savvy is about being well-informed – not just consuming quality information but taking also taking the next step to creatively apply new ideas to your life.  Living savvy is about living consciously, forming meaningful connections with others and valuing the process as much as the outcome – savouring the moment as much as the final success.  Living savvy is about the small changes you can make to your daily life, your habits and your mindset to produce amazing results – fine-tuning the ordinary to live extraordinary.

http://livingsavvy.com.au/living-savvy-jo-bassett

Q: Can you tell our readers about your approach to your clients?

My coaching is centered on the belief that everyone has the right to access or create  opportunities that allow them to be the best they can be.  It’s about always seeking to be the best you can be, not about being labeled as ‘broken’ nor trying to implement unsustainable life overhauls.

As a coach I provide a safe and supportive environment in which issues can be honestly explored and clients can find answers to important questions: What am I creating? What do I believe? What will I commit to, to deliver my best? Self responsibility and accountability are the values that underpin all of her coaching conversations.   I have created the 5 steps to Living Savvy Ask, Do, Discover, Commit and Celebrate.

Step 1 Ask: The first step to creating your dream life is to ask yourself the big (and sometimes difficult) questions, and to be prepared to receive the honest answers.

Step 2 Do: To dig deeper, and find your own unique answers to the living savvy questions, it often helps to experiment with different activities and forms of creative expression.

Step 3 Discover: A core characteristic of living savvy is being open to new information, ideas, people and experiences. We learn by making connections – with others and their stories – and by creatively applying what we learn to our own lives.

Step 4 Commit: Living savvy is about committing to change. Make a choice, try something new, take action and see what works and what doesn’t.

Step 5 Celebrate: It’s so important to acknowledge and celebrate our efforts and achievements.

http://livingsavvy.com.au/5-steps-to-living-savvy

Q: What can clients expect to achieve by hiring a life coach?

Life coaching is about using questions to think differently, which leads to behaving differently and, ultimately a different result. If you have a goal of changing something about your life, life coaching is a process that will help you make that change. For life coaching to work for you, you need to be willing to engage, willing to share and ready to change.

Are you open to ideas and new information that may lead to a different thinking and behaving? Are you ready to commit to what’s important to you? If the answer is yes, then you will benefit from the life coaching process. Life coaching creates a space (dedicated time) to think about life, what is important, and what you want to achieve.

Many people report feeling the benefits of having a coach, who acts as a sounding board, to share ideas, talk through decisions and to offer them different perspectives.  A coach’s role is to keep you focused, committed and accountable.  Each person gets something different from coaching.  However during and after coaching you most likely will:

• find that you are able to be present for those you love the most, and also pursue your personal dreams
• define your own success and realise your full potential
• create a life that is fulfilling, satisfying and joyful
• do all this without being busy and stressed.

http://livingsavvy.com.au/how-life-coaching-can-help

Q: You were recently interviewed on The Circle about mentoring. Can you tell us more about the role mentors can play in our lives?

A mentor will offer new perspectives, ask questions, share ideas and (if you are really lucky) challenge you to go places you may have never dared to go.  Creating mentoring relationships is a valuable way to discover, one of the steps to Living Savvy.  I believe that creating a network of mentoring relationships work best for women (instead of the traditional  “male” model of a mentor who wants to mould his mentee  into an image of himself).  The network of relationships better reflects the diversity of life roles women have as they move through the various stages of life.

http://livingsavvy.com.au/life-coaching-mentor-the-circle

Q: Tell us about Monday Bites and Champagne Friday on Living Savvy?

Sometimes the world in which we live spins so fast it seems like it is on warp speed.  Champagne Friday and Monday Bites are designed to slow us down, live mindfully and recognise what we have, what we have done and what we can do.  Champagne Friday complements the discover  (step 3) and commit (step 4) of Living Savvy.

Having a Champagne Friday moment each week is important to me in my quest to live savvy, it is my way of capturing insights and discoveries that without this ritual I  would register for a moment only before my attention gets swallowed up by something else.  Writing this post each week is my way of staying connected to my life, insights, hits and misses.

I have never been one to journal (I know a life coach who doesn’t journal, shocking isn’t it), writing random thoughts and ideas down on sticky notes is as close as I ever got, until 18 months ago when I created Champagne Friday.  It’s so important to acknowledge and celebrate our efforts and achievements, this is what Champagne Friday is all about.    Monday Bites is the post the kicks off the week at Living Savvy and captures what Living savvy is all  about  – not unsustainable overhauls but the  small changes we can make to create a life that is a little more fulfilling, a little more satisfying and a little more joyful.  Each Monday I share three simple ideas I have to fine-tune my own ordinary to live extraordinary during the upcoming  week.  I keep it simple and usually all about me. 

Q: How do you live savvy in your own life?

Simple things like burning all natural scented candles in the office and bedroom, fresh flowers in the house, time spent with friends, sharing the love with my fella and our children), a run in the sunshine, putting a conditioning treatment into my hair, having  ABC classical radio on in the background during our family dinners, my Thursday night yoga class, having my nightly cup of tea made for me (not by me), creating space to watch my favourite TV shows (the best way for me to unwind), a book to read for a few minutes before I go to sleep, being asleep by 10.30pm.

Q: What are the challenges you believe modern woman are facing today?

We modern women live in interesting times so many opportunities and yet life doesn’t seem to be getting any easier and in fact if you believe research we are becoming less happy and more stressed.  We have so much information available to us that it can be overwhelming when making a decision.  There is immense expectation that we get our decisions right and not make a mistake, we live in risk averse times.  We are expected to make major life decisions and achieve all major life milestones (travel, study, career, marriage and family if that is your cup of tea) by the time we are forty. We are raised to be independent with an expectation to cope with anything that life throws up with asking, accepting or buying in help is seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence.

I have coined the term “airbrushed lives” and recently wrote about this phenomenon. http://livingsavvy.com.au/airbrushed-lives-unhappiness

Airbrushing lives is when we are presented with stories of women living the perfect life in the media, the goal is to maintain the appearance of the ‘perfect’ life and conveniently edit out anything that doesn’t meet the standard (or else find a way to use any difficulty as part of an inspiring tale of triumphing over tragedy), I believe this type of air brushing is just as damaging to our self confidence and happiness as airbrushing photos.

The challenges faced by the modern woman is perfectly illustrated in this response by  Germain Greer to the reporter Ellen Fannings, in a the channel 9, 60 minutes programs that featured a story called Housewife Superstars (http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/stories/824791/housewife-superstars)

ELLEN FANNING: What do you think of the fact that women are coming to the conclusion, even some of the ones who are doing it, this is just too bloody hard, this juggling?

GERMAINE GREER: I agree. When people say to me, “Nowadays young women have it all, what have you got to say to them?” And I say what I’ve got to say to them is, “They’ve got all the work, that’s the only thing they’ve got all of.”

Q: Who is Jo Bassett, the Woman behind Living Savvy?

My life coach “bio” describes me as … executive and performance coach, team leader and facilitator, wife, mother of two spirited little people, big-time dreamer and idea explorer….this is me. I am genuine, I don’t pretend to be something I am not.  The personal is the professional.

At Living Savvy, I write honestly about my lack of perfection, my quest to discover the answers to the big questions in life and the challenge to sparkle bright every day.  I  believe my relationships are the essential nourishment for my soul and spirit. This means I choose to create time and space to spend time with the special people in my life.

I believe that a strong and healthy body underpins everything. This means creating the space in my life to exercise and move is a priority.  I also believe in fairness, authenticity, credibility and optimism. So when I interact with others I always do my best to understand the world from their perspective, and to be genuine and honest in my interactions.

Do I live true to my values perfectly every day? Definitely not, I am human after all! But being clear on my beliefs and aware of who I am and how I am (or am not) reflecting them in my activities and behaviour, gives me the energy and motivation to keep living my life true to me.

 Jo Bassett | Creator

Living Savvy Lifestyle Program

m 0419 020 873 | e jo@livingsavvy.com.au | w livingsavvy.com.au

1. You are currently the editor of  ’Chasing Aphrodite’. Can you tell our readers why they should start chasing Aphrodite on your site?

We all need a dose of the beautiful and the lovely, and sometimes, living the goddess life doesn’t have to be something for myths and fables. In the modern day, women are juggling a bit of everything, Chasing Aphrodite is a site where we can find something to cheer us up – a sneak peak into another woman’s closet, a beauty product to buy, a restaurant to try, a destination to dream about, an experience to add to our life-list, or even, something to add to our shopping wishlist.

Chasing Aphrodite indulges the frivolous things that make life a tad more exciting. As we mention on our site, it can be everything from silk pillowcases to delicate cupcakes and the perfect pink champagne. We put on our rose-tinted glasses, reveal all the latest and greatest products, and chase the stuff that makes our life bigger, better and sweeter, in the hope that we can translate it to you. The aphrodite life is a treasure, and we chasers are the Indiana Jones equivalent of treasure hunters.

2. Can you tell us about the Aphrodite in your life?

3. You have a real flair for writing. Can you tell us about your writing background? What other sites and publications have you written for?

4. For me, I write because I must write. It’s what gets me out of bed everyday and it’s also a cathartic release, otherwise my mind as Judith Lucy so eloquently put it, “is like a cross between a fly blown chop and question time at Parliament House”. Why do you love to write?

6. What are your favourite holiday destinations and if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I love the big cities, and the super-small towns. Paris and New York have been my favourites of late, but I also love Santorini, and my parents’ village in Northern Lebanon. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would probably be Paris, but I think NY has a better foodie scene.

By Gaynor Alder

I interview Paula Joye and get the lowdown on Life.Styled., discover her style icons, snare expert beauty tips from her time working with supermodels and get advice for up and coming writers who want to break into the industry. Bet you didn’t know she cooks a mean pavlova?

You were the Founder & Editor of Madison (04-10), Editor-in-Chief of Shop Til You Drop (02-10), Editor of Cleo (98-04) and Editorial Director for Cleo and Cosmopolitan (07-09), so it goes without saying that you are intrinsically in touch with the modern woman. What do you think are the main issues facing women today?

Choice. There is so much on offer. Too much I think and it can make life tougher. I’m a firm believer that you can’t have it all – certainly not all at the same time. The biggest issue for women is finding space in their lives (forget balance – that’s impossible). I have yet to crack the code.

What inspired you to create Life.Styled.?

When I create something, it’s a direct response to not being able to access what I’m looking for elsewhere. Not terribly scientific, but I figure that if I’m looking for it then others must be too. I was passionate about learning and understanding new media – getting my hands dirty and building something from the ground up proved an excellent teacher.

Tell our readers about Life.Styled. Why should they bookmark it stat and make it their go-to destination for all things beauty, fashion and lifestyle related?

It’s an edit of all things stylish – a daily hook-up of news, inspiration and shopping. I’m currently working on the second generation of the site and it’s going to have some fun bells and whistles.

What are the main differences between being an editor for print and online publications?

It’s not that different really. The biggest change is that the web allows you to work in real time and have conversations in the moment. You’re not running with a two month lead time, and if something happens you can respond. The thing I loved most about magazines was the incredible people that I worked with. My editorial teams were filled with talented, funny, fabulous women (and a couple of top blokes) and I really liked making something new each month – something tangible.

As a style icon yourself, who are your style icons and why?

You’ve jumped the shark on that! I’m not a style icon. But my own top five style heroes echo the five kingdoms in my wardrobe – Carolyn Bessette, Debbie Harry, Grace Kelly, Kate Moss and Carine Roitfield.

You offer beauty advice on Life.Styled. What expert beauty advice would you give to our readers? We all know we need to drink more water, slather on SPF 30+ and cleanse, tone and moisturise like a demon, but do you have any other advice for our reader’s beauty regime, including any beauty products that you can’t live without?

Keeping out of the sun, exercise and sleep truly are the king tips but …. white eyeliner will make the tiredest eyes look awake, tangerine blush will make you look healthy (I love Stilla and Shu Umera), fake eyelashes make you feel like a movie star and speak to your GP about a prescription vitamin A and an antibiotic for pimples (every supermodel I’ve worked with had it in her handbag).

As a former editor of Cleo, what did you think of ‘Paper Giants – The Birth of Cleo Magazine’? Personally, I have a new-found appreciation for Ita Buttrose and what she did to empower women in the ’70s – not only for her readers, but also for women professionally.

I loved the show – loved it. It was such an honour to edit Cleo. I had so much fun on that title – there was a lot of freedom to push the envelope and we did. Ita is remarkable – she’s been nothing but kind and nurturing. She’s the real deal.

As an editorial guru, what practical advice would you give to budding writers wanting to break into the industry?

• You can do it.
• Make sure you really want it (because it’s hard) and then dig your heels in.
• Work experience is essential and your first job is likely to materialise that way.
• Start a blog or website as an outlet for your writing – it also becomes your CV.
• Don’t forget it’s not just magazine, online and newspapers – there is film, television, book editing – throw the net wide and see what you can catch.

What are three things our readers may not already know about Paula Joye? Go on, spill it.

I am a music nerd, my pavlova is legendary and I’m possibly the clumsiest person you’ll ever meet.

Visit Life.Styled. for style inspiration.

Follow Life.Styled. on Facebook.

Stalk Paula Joye on Twitter.

Image Credit: Carolyn Bessette taken by Vanity Fair.

What are the struggles you have faced when transitioning from an independent single woman to that of a mother? 


Before we had children, I thought I would definitely want to be a stay-at-home-mum, but after my first maternity leave I realised I wasn’t quite ready to leave my professional life so I returned to work four days a week.

When our second child was born I felt differently; there was so much to juggle with two children and a job and a long daily commute from our home to my job in Dublin. With school looming for my eldest, I had started to think about how long I would continue working. Finding the right work/family balance is a very real dilemma for many mothers.

As a mother, how do you carve out time for yourself? Or is that an unachievable and whimsical fantasy?


It’s tough! In terms of my writing, I’m not sure I could say that I organise my writing time; it’s more a case of grabbing it when I can! I’m lucky to have a wonderful attic conversion which I disappear to when the boys are both in bed or before they wake up. This is where, and when, I have done most of my writing.

I can see that as the boys grow older, and are both at school, it is going to get a little easier for me to have scheduled time to write. For now, it really is a case of stolen time. As a freelance writer, it’s difficult to predict when a piece will be commissioned so when I do get a deadline, I have to re-focus and get my head down.

My blog occasionally gets completely neglected and as for writing my novel, I grab any time I can and try to get as many words written per day as is humanly possible. Sometimes it’s zero; occasionally it’s thousands. My ‘leisure’ time has definitely been sacrificed for my writing. I don’t lounge around on the sofa channel-surfing and I, equally, don’t go to a gym or go running.

I now regard my ‘free time’ as the evenings after the boys are in bed and I use that ‘free time’ to write – sometimes I write for pleasure (i.e. my fiction novel) and sometimes it is for work (i.e paid articles etc). Of course, the boys often want my attention when I’m working – any time I am trying to have ‘me time’ will always be difficult for them to accept at the moment. As I am trying to write this, I have one child sitting on my knee asking me to put his shoes on and the other asking for a drink and both of them needing various other things – it is a fairly typical scenario!

Despite a good G&T, what advice do you have for mothers to stay sane whilst juggling their career with motherhood?


The G&T definitely helps! I think for many mothers juggling careers and family life, we end up feeling constantly guilty – about the children, the house, or our career which, in my case, is my writing. Over the last two years I have become much more realistic about what I can achieve and am better at leaving my writing when I have to, because ‘real life’ takes over.

Society in general, the world over, puts immense pressure on women to be the perfect mum. Modern mums are expected to be all things to all people and the endless coverage of celebrity mums in the media adds to the perception that we, too, should be a size 8 immediately after the birth of our baby and be immaculately presented wherever we go. The reality is very different.

As a result, we put ourselves under enormous pressure which often leads to feelings of failure or inadequacy. My advice is to be the best mum you can be and be comfortable with your parenting skills and decisions; good, bad or otherwise! For me, becoming a mother did result in making a decision to step back from my professional career, but in a roundabout way, it is because I am a mother that I am now in my second career – as a writer – and I couldn’t be happier.

What do you love about motherhood?

For me, being a mum is a whole package – the laughter, the tears, the pride, the frustrations – I don’t think you can separate things out when it comes to being a parent, so I guess I love everything about motherhood: the entire experience. Through my blog and writing career, I’ve fortunately managed to turn redundancy into a great new opportunity which allows me to work at home and have this time with my boys while they are young and still enjoy my kisses and cuddles!  I feel extremely lucky. My children are my inspiration and the basis of most of my subject matter. If it wasn’t for them, I simply wouldn’t be writing.

Do you have any other writing projects in the pipeline?

Always!! The most exciting thing happening RIGHT NOW is that my fiction novel is currently being read by an Irish publisher. It is a complete departure from the blog, parenting or anything to do with my life as a mother which has been a challenge and a fascinating journey. I am keeping everything crossed for a publishing deal – what a dream come true that would be!

Find out more about the ebook ‘Hot Cross Mum – Bitesize Slices of Motherhood’

Read her fabulous, hilarious and honest account of motherhood on her blog, Hot Cross Mum.

Stalk Hazel on Twitter & Facebook.

Want to win a VS Sassoon Goddess Slimline Hair Straightener valued at $156? Well, we here at The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide want to know who inspires you and why?

The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide is passionate about showcasing women of style and substance - fabulous women, past and present, whose spirits move and inspire us. From Coco Chanel, Audrey Hepburn, Edith Piaf, Tamara De Lempicka, Florence Broadhurst, Billie Holiday to modern day marvels.

They follow their hearts.

They express a beauty from within.

They have a clear defined sense of self.

They have grace and style.

They have unstoppable spirits.

They push boundaries.

They live by their own rules.

They have an immeasurable strength.

They are real.

To enter, simply leave a comment below telling us who inspires you and why?

This weekly competition closes on Friday the 9th of September. Click here to view other competitions.

Tell us more about your ebook?

‘Hot Cross Mum – Bitesize Slices of Motherhood’ is intended to be a humorous, warm and honest account of family life. It is written in a series of short, diary-entries which follow the first year of my journey as I adjusted from the corporate world of deadlines and boardrooms to the domestic world of washing lines and bathrooms!

To quote from the online description, ‘There are many highs; days when she bursts with love and pride for her two boys and days when nothing gets spilt or broken. But there are also the lows; when the days seem endless, the dinner is thrown on the floor and there isn’t any tonic for the gin. Written with a wry humour and honesty which only someone who has lived through the experience of raising young children could do justice to, ‘Hot Cross Mum’ will reassure any parent that it isn’t just them and, apart from anything else, will provide a welcome distraction from the housework!’

Rather than being a straightforward reproduction of the blog, the ebook includes new material, so there’s plenty of new reading for my loyal blog followers, as well as for people who have never seen the blog and discover the ebook first.

What inspired you to start blogging on ‘Hot Cross Mum’?


I started blogging after being made redundant in March 2009. I’ve always dreamed of writing a fiction novel and looked into freelancing as a way to develop publishing credit and to generate some income whilst being at home with my children – I had written nothing, other than tedious management reports up to that point and didn’t even know what a blog was!

My breakthroughs really occurred quite quickly and unexpectedly so it was a bit of a roller coaster ride for a while. At the time I started my blog, my youngest was 15 months – by the time he was two, I’d been approached by literary agents, was blogging for ‘Hello’, had regular freelance work, was being interviewed for The Sunday Times and Irish TV and had started working on a fiction novel.

It was a crazy time really; trying to maintain the momentum which had started and managing two small boys; whilst still adjusting to life at home as opposed to a professional career. Two years on, I consider myself extremely lucky to have found something I love doing which I can combine with being at home with my children. My blog has also given me access to an incredible network of smart, intelligent, motivated women; many of whom have become real friends after starting out as virtual ones.

What can readers hope to benefit from reading your ebook?


Personally, my hope is that anyone who reads ‘Hot Cross Mum’ will recognise a lot of their own experiences of parenting with all its ups and downs and realise that it is not ’just them’ – if I can make people laugh and cry in equal measure, then I will have done a good job! For women, in particular those who have given up a professional career since having children, I hope that they will feel encouraged to read about someone else’s journey and struggle to adjust to life at home.

The following comments from readers of the ebook probably sum it up best:

“I loved this book, it was like having a catch-up with another Mum over coffee, minus the screaming toddler and mess that ensues! It made me laugh out loud and nod in agreement. It’s fun to read but I also found it to be quite inspiring. It made me realise that this time we have with our children while they’re so little is fleeting and precious. Sure, there are some not-so-great times but for the most part it’s a wonderful journey with lots of laughs, cuddles and pleasant surprises. “

“Last night I finished reading your ebook (I downloaded it from Amazon) and I love, love, LOVED it! Truly, it’s a special book. Made me want to be a better Mum!”

Can you tell our readers about Hazel Gaynor, the woman behind ‘Hot Cross Mum’?


Hmmm, that’s a tough question! Perhaps it is best summed up by my Twitter profile ‘Mother, aspiring author and book review blogger for Hello magazine. Partial to a large G&T’! I guess the person I am now is the sum of all the parts of my life so far; a lovely childhood growing up in a rural Yorkshire village in England, my crazy university years, the devastating loss of my beautiful mum to cancer in my early twenties, my year living in Sydney, forging a corporate career in London, meeting my Irish husband in Dublin, having my two beautiful children…..it’s been a busy forty years I’ll say that much!

Where else do you write?

I now write regular features on parenting for the Irish press and am a regular contributor to parenting magazines and websites in the UK and Ireland. I also write for the national Irish writing resourcewww.writing.ieand tutor on ‘Blogging and Beyond’: an online and one day writing course for aspiring bloggers and freelancers.

I recently started a new blog for HelloMagazine.com, ‘Off the Shelf’ which features book reviews and author interviews – this combines my two loves of reading and writing and it’s great to be able to interview the authors and get an insight into their writing life.

Follow part 2 of this interview next Friday, when we talk about more about her transition from single and independent professional woman, to becoming a stay at home mum, wife and freelance writer.

Find out more about the ebook ‘Hot Cross Mum – Bitesize Slices of Motherhood’

Read her fabulous, hilarious and honest account of motherhood on her blog, Hot Cross Mum.

Stalk Hazel on Twitter & Facebook.

1) How long have you have been writing Life and Other Crises and what inspired you to start the blog?

I began L&OC in May 2009. I’d been a freelance writer for years, but after my sister died in November 2007 I had period of complete writer’s block – it was awful. I couldn’t write a word for 18 months. Then in April 2009 I read an article about Twitter and decided to give it a go. It totally helped me get my mojo back, and within a month of starting on Twitter I obeyed the commands of hundreds (okay, two) Twitter buddies and started my blog.

2) You have an avid following on your blog, with a readership who seem to engage with your candid and tell it like it is style of writing. Do you think this has been a major contributor to your success in the blogosphere?

You know what? I honestly try not to think about why people like my writing because I don’t want to become self-conscious and ruin it. But I do want people to feel better about their own lives by laughing at mine, so hopefully that’s what’s happening!

3) You have a natural flair for writing, so it’s no surprise you have released a book. How did your publishing deal come about?

I was soooo lucky. My divine agent Pippa heard through the online world that I was writing a book, and she approached me and asked if I’d like to discuss being represented by her. By the time the book was finished she had several publishers reading my blog, and it was sold within a few weeks to Random House.

4) Can you tell our readers more about your book? What inspired you to write the book?

I was really tired of reading books about falling in love and walking off into the sunset, or about breaking up and finding strength after that. I was more interested in what happens after you walk into the sunset – years and years after, when you’ve been living with the same person for about 100 years, had the same fights with them 1000 times, tried to avoid having sex with them after a long day, and had kids with them. Oh, and I also wanted to make people laugh. So I wrote a memoir of marriage and motherhood.

5) If not thoroughly entertained for one thing, what do you think people will get out of reading your book?

Women will realise that they are not alone, and men will realise that the women they are living with are normal!

6) Who is the target audience for your book? i.e. what kind of woman needs to put down her glass of wine and google your book stat?

Really, my book is for any woman who has ever been in a relationship or has had kids, or who is contemplating getting married and having kids. And it’s also for the men who will sneakily read the book over their shoulder, realising ‘Oh, so that’s what she’s thinking!’.

7) Who is Kerri Sackville, pre Life and Other Crises and published author?

Mother, wife, friend, daughter. Underachiever. Copywriter. Freelance writer. Nail biter. Avid reader. Diary keeper. Young Talent Time enthusiast.

Do you find it hard to find the time to write whilst juggling motherhood?

YES! I basically just write in any spare minute I have, in between looking after the house, the finances, the rabbit, three kids, and a workaholic husband.

9) How do you find time for yourself? What are your favourite ways to relax?

I love to read, I love to watch stupid shows like Real Housewives of Beverley Hills, and I love to meet my friends for breakfast…. but sadly when I do have an hour spare I am usually so tired I collapse in a heap on the bed (or couch, or floor) and sleep.

10) Desert island. 3 items. (Not including Simon Baker.)

1) The World According To Garp. It’s my favourite book ever and I could read it a thousand times.
2) Pictures of my kids. Even seeing their faces makes me smile.
3) A pen and paper (okay, so that’s four items….). I seriously cannot survive without writing materials. The ideas will go round and round in my head and I won’t be able to sleep till I get them down. And writing in the sand isn’t quite satisfying enough.

Click here to visit Kerri’s Blog ‘Life and Other Crises’

Click here to find  out more about Kerri’s book ‘When My Husband Does The Dishes’

Gaynor Alder is a Melbourne based writer with a penchant for vintage glamour and all things Parisian. Constantly living outside of her means, she brings new meaning to living the champagne lifestyle. She believes that one should never leave home without gloss (universal law 1.1), wouldn’t dare attend a red carpet worthy occasion without false eyelashes, and isn’t interested in doing anything where she can’t wear her heels – although she can be tempted by a lovely pair of Audrey Hepburn ballet flats, should the occasion call for them.

Sarah Prout is a best selling author, entrepreneur and social media expert who has followed her passions to self publish a book that sold over 9000 copies, which educates people how to earn money online doing what they love (what a woman). Since then she has attracted over 42,000 Twitter followers (so she must be doing something right). Naturally, I was intrigued by Sarah’s success and passion, and contacted her to find out more.

Q: You are a entrepreneurial self published social media expert. What inspired you to start Sarah Prout and Sprout Publishing?

I’m a writer so I love to write and connect with people. I’d say that I’m a true entrepreneur at heart and have always been thinking up creative business ideas since the moment I figured out that there is an awesome feeling attached to building something from the ground up. I started SPROUT PUBLISHING in 2006 as a way to expand on my greeting card company. I first started compilation books for female entrepreneurs which has now expanded beyond my initial expectations.

Q: Tell us more about the books you have published?In 2009, I was headhunted by Wiley (one of the largest publishers in the world) to write The Power of Influence. It was really an ideal platform to teach people how to construct an inspired online enterprise. I also managed to weave in a lot of personal development and biographical material. The feedback has been amazing so far. In fact, it’s being translated into German for European distribution, due for release in November 2011.

 

However, my true love is publishing books myself. I love the process of creative direction. Under the SPROUT umbrella I have published two books. The first sold over 9,000 copies in pre-sales and featured bestselling authors, designers and even an EMMY award winner. My new company (Älska Publishing) is set to release two books in the next two months that feature teachers from ‘The Secret’. My partner and I are so proud of our 60 authors collected from all around the world for the first two editions of our Adventures In Manifesting series. It’s going to be a very exciting launch indeed. Q:  What can readers hope to gain from reading your books?

I’d like to think that they find reading my books inspiring. I get emails daily from people saying how much they loved reading The Power of Influence. Some of the words move me to tears with gratitude. Honestly, it means the world to me to be able to inspire change in people’s life.

Q: What is your formula for social media success? (Obviously we’re not asking you to give away all your trade secrets here.)

The best piece of advice that I can share is to be authentic. Allow your online lifestyle to flow directly from your offline experience. The beauty of social media is interaction, engagement and sharing. If you do this from a place of uniqueness, then you know the secret to using social media effectively.

Q:  You have a passion that comes through all that you do. On your website you list these as art, writing and metaphysics. Can you tell us more about what inspires your passion for this?

I am the daughter of two artists. I grew up in galleries and studios surrounded by creativity and vibrant entrepreneurialism – so I think being exposed to things such as art, literature and concepts of the workings of the universe, just naturally became what I loved. I really get inspired by good design. Blogs in particular that are well designed can be so compelling.

Q: If you had to describe Sarah Prout in ten words, what would they be?1. Creative 2. Artsy 3. Thoughtful 4. Loving 5. Hyperactive 6. Workaholic 7. Inspired 8. Eccentric 9. Vegan 10. Feminine

Q: You speak about your love of design. Who are your influences? Who are your favourite designers? How would you describe your design style?

This is such an exciting question! I am strongly influenced by ornate and feminine design. Anything that is intricately detailed with a tincture of style and a modern twist is beautiful. I love architecture from the Victorian era, Art Nouveau jewellery, floral motifs, bold typography, circus-esque imagery, glittery surfaces, sleek automotive design (eg. Masterati) and vibrant hues of fuchsia. These visual delights will get framed up in my mind as eye-candy. I love the paintings of Klimt, Waterhouse and wallpaper patterns designed by Florence Broadhurst.

I try to translate my love for these visual elements into everything that I create – whether it’s a blog post, an eBook, the front cover of a new book or the way I decorate my home – my vision is to surround myself with beauty on a daily basis. If you want to get a visual idea of what I’m talking about, then please check out my inspiration boards on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/sarahprout/

Q: Tell us more about your new Gratitude Revolution project.

This project is currently taking more of a definite shape. I’m planning to release an eCourse that will help people to tap into the awesome power of gratitude in their daily lives. This will work in conjunction with my AdventuresInManifesting.org community. We currently have over 300 students that have taken the course to create more magnificence in their realities. Q: What does the future hold for Sarah Prout?

Happy times with my amazing man, Mr. Sean Patrick Simpson and my beautiful children.  The expansion of Älska Publishing, SarahProut.com and the creation of more products. Manifesting even more amazing opportunities and connections with people. Whatever the future holds I know that it’s going to be filled with fun and creatively. What can I say? I’m an optimist!

Click here to visit Sarah Prout’s website for inspiration and expert advice on how to follow your dreams to become an online entrepreneurial success.

By Joanna Davy

Jackie Maxted was never very big on mapping out her future. When she came to Australia on holiday more than 20 years ago, the UK-native stayed because it just felt like “the right place to be”. As for becoming one of the country’s digital publishing gurus, Jackie says it all started with a great idea, and the desire to build something from scratch. “Having an interesting job was very much an ambition of mine, but I never knew what it looked like,” she says. “I’ve never had a clear plan in my life about anything.”

While many of us would label Jackie’s current role as Managing Director of online beauty hubs Beauty Directory and Beauty Heaven a little more than interesting, she remains very much aware of where it all started. Unwavering belief in Beauty Directory, an idea for an online database of beauty products available to brands and beauty media prompted Jackie to sideline a successful career in PR and begin creating a website back in the days of dial-up.

“In 1999, the Internet wasn’t an essential part of daily life yet,” she explains. “Beauty writers didn’t even have Internet on their own computers, and people were very wary of what could go wrong, rather than focusing on what’s great about it.” While Jackie admits the industry was perhaps not quite ready for Beauty Directory in 1999, twelve years in technology sure feels like a lifetime, because the site today boasts details of more than 26,000 products from almost 600 beauty brands.

Beauty Heaven was less a growth strategy and more a revelation for Jackie who, upon deciding to close Beauty Directory to those without media or brand member access, discovered 20,000 consumers using the site to explore the beauty products available to them. “We spotted an opportunity to launch a site just for them. It’s about offering a community the opportunity to become experts on beauty and share their expertise with each other,” she says.

With over 70,000 product reviews written by Beauty Heaven’s own members, Jackie has a clear vision of why the online medium works so well for the beauty industry. “It’s moving away from the traditional model of telling people ‘how to think’ and ‘what to do’,” she reasons. “We’re putting ideas out there to let them decide what works and what doesn’t.” Establishing what her readers expect from Beauty Heaven presents Jackie with the constant challenge of staying on top of an industry that’s continuously evolving.

The mother of four says that she’s constantly on the Internet, looking at what creates a good experience for web users, but also cites her children as an invaluable resource. “Their lives are very much more digital than mine was at their age,” she explains. “So they tell me what makes them interested and I know what doesn’t interest them.” Having dealt with the daily balancing act of motherhood versus career for more than 20 years, Jackie admits that whilst she applauds women who choose to become stay-at-home mothers, giving up work was never on the cards for her. “Having to balance work and family is what makes life interesting and rich. It also gives me an opportunity to get out of both situations at times,” she chuckles.

Certainly, Jackie would have had cause to run home and pull the doona over her head one morning in 2008 when her company’s US server went down, and both Beauty Directory and Beauty Heaven disappeared into cyberspace for several hours. However Jackie seems to have no trouble keeping things in perspective, pointing out that when it comes to a crisis in her profession, it’s very rarely life or death. “There are always solutions, you just have to calmly work through them until you find the right one.”

With her children growing older and a solid team of professionals behind both websites, Jackie says her relationships at home and work have taken on a collaborative nature. Having taken that step back to manage the ‘bigger picture’ of her publications, Jackie’s focus for her future in digital publishing is to remain ahead of the game. “I think it’s always been a challenge not to think that just because you’ve created something the job is done – it’s never done,” she says. “There are always more ideas, better ideas.” And while the long-term forecast might be foggy for Jackie and her team, she’s conscious that taking risks and leaving certain things to chance have stood her in good stead in the past. “It’s all evolved along the way,” she says. “Yes, I have goals in place, but it’s never been about me, it’s about what I’m trying to create.”

Click here to visit Beauty Heaven

Click here to visit Beauty Directory

Jo is a journalism and PR student at RMIT, who has more sides to her than you can poke a stick at (please don’t, she bruises like a peach). She enjoys being right, reading non-school books on the train, and arriving home with pretty shopping bags. Jo wants to be a features writer, travel Europe with a Birkin bag on her arm, maybe get famous, and never again run out of conditioner in the middle of a rinse and repeat.

Not satisfied with simply breaking all the rules, Blogger Gaynor Alder is intent on writing new ones.

Gaynor Alder has never been one for letting people tell her what to do. As a child, after lights out she would sneak under the doona with a torch to continue reading. When friends told her to abandon writing and focus on her successful career in recruitment, she sat down and wrote a novel.

But when a published author told her to start blogging to raise her profile as a writer, she decided this was a piece of advice worth taking, and The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide strutted into the blogosphere.

Gaynor says despite the fact that she initially started the blog to develop a platform for her book; she knew almost immediately that this was a publication that could take on a life of its own.

“It’s become a place where women come for a daily dose of vintage glamour, as well as to draw inspiration from the struggles that modern women face every day,” she says.

Gaynor’s other foray into the world of online media has been with Onya magazine, a web-zine (and soon to be bi-annual print publication) celebrating Australian people, places and products. She served as Onya’s first Beauty Editor, before a recent promotion to the role of Travel Editor in late 2010 has sent her around Australia, “testing thread counts – someone has to.”

Working full time as a Quality Assurance Manager in addition to her writing commitments means that Gaynor’s dream of moving to a French Chateau and putting pen to paper every day of the week isn’t realistic just yet.

“I write on weekends, and as often as I can,” she says. “The poor sods at work often have to bear witness to me turning up with scraped back frizzy hair, not an ounce of make-up on my face and clothes that could do with a good iron. Did I mention I used to be a Beauty Editor?”

A decade-long battle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome only bought Gaynor closer to her writing, and she credits her book for its role as loyal friend and confidant, even when illness prevented her from picking it up for months at a time.

But upon its completion, with a release date yet to be finalised, Gaynor says she has complete faith in her candid expose of life as a modern woman. While her hearing may be selective when taking advice from others, it seems Gaynor is all ears when there’s a higher power at play.

“A calling, my destiny, my whatever you want to call it – this book chose me to write it, not the other way around,” she maintains.

Whilst gaining control over the debilitating effects of Chronic Fatigue and completing her book is one of Gaynor’s proudest achievements to date, she is equally fulfilled by the influence that blogging has had on her writing.

She will often receive comments from readers asking whether she has peeked into their diaries, and it’s this strong resonance with a niche group of readers that is Gaynor’s formula for success in the blogosphere. She writes almost exclusively from personal experience, believing that honesty and candour are sure to stand you in good stead amongst readers.

“When you try to tailor articles to reach a certain audience, your voice loses its authenticity, she says. “I can’t appeal to everyone, so I focus on engaging with the readership who relate to what I am writing.”

Gaynor credits the success of The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide to her emphasis on the reader experience. This has meant keeping the site, unlike others, relatively advertisement free, save for the few affiliates carefully selected for their potential to be of use to readers.

In 2010, Gaynor’s risk taking and rule breaking landed her a nomination for one the Beauty Directory’s ‘Star’ Awards, the only online nominee against entrants from two high profile glossy print magazines.

But despite her successes, unruly hair can still leave the former Beauty Editor hyperventilating.  She very nearly declined an opportunity to be interviewed for a segment on Channel Seven when a journalist, after stumbling across her blog, asked her to appear at the last minute.

“It nearly didn’t happen because I was having a bad hair day,” she chuckles. “But I ran down the street breathing into a brown paper bag to find a hairdresser, and it was all lights, camera, action!”

However, by keeping award shows and television appearances largely in her periphery, Gaynor would be the first to tell you that success isn’t defined by swollen bank accounts and well-tamed tresses.

“People have told me I’m a dreamer,” she says. “But I simply define success by having the courage to live life by your own rules. I’ll be sure to send those who doubted me a postcard from my French Chateau.”

In 1972, two women in San Francisco decided to open a beauty boutique that looked like an adult candy store. If only they knew that almost 40 years later, women around the world would still find a sense of escapism in that candy store. Something that puts a smile to their face and makes them feel beautiful. Just like a woman should feel. It’s a brand that needs no explanation or introduction. A brand that screams “Buy me, I’m so pretty,” from every beauty counter. It’s a brand whose inimitability is guaranteed for years to come.

If you haven’t already guessed it, then apart from getting medicated for silliness, you need to acquaint yourself with Benefit Cosmetics. The brand is celebrating its 10^th anniversary in Australia this year – and there was no better way to pop the champagne, than to invite the new generation Benefit girls to the country.

Maggie and Annie Dennison Ford are the daughters of Jean Ford and nieces of Jane Ford, the original Benefit ladies. For them, this decade in Australia is a milestone achievement. “Women in Australia love Benefit for our witty humour, knowledge of brows, and the welcoming counters. We will continue to grow and have another great 10 years in Australia,” says Maggie.

Though they joke that they’ll retire before their mum and aunt do, these ladies are certain they will be bed-ridden with Benefit fever for the rest of their lives. I was fortunate enough to meet the girls while they were visiting Sydney last month. The first words out of their mouths assured me that their passion for the brand is unwavering. “We still joke that it’s not blood pumping through our veins but it’s Bene-tint.”

How and when did you girls catch the beauty bug from your mum and aunt?

Maggie: When we were 14, we were introduced to the brand. This was the first time our mother allowed us to wear make-up which was only Benetint – of course!

Annie: Believe it or not, but we were tomboys. But there was no getting around not getting the bug. Jean and Jane were always talking the ‘Benefit’ language.

I read somewhere that Benefit doesn’t believe in ongoing make-up trends. Where do you get your inspiration?

Maggie: We concentrate on beauty dilemmas and create solutions in Benefit products to last for years. Fashion and trends change but beauty problems remain the same and that’s where Benefit differs from other beauty brands.

Annie: Women will always need to conceal, brighten, highlight and they want instant fixes – but we do look at what’s out there, of course.

How is an Australian Benefit girl different from an American Benefit girl?

Maggie: The Australian Benefit customer has embraced brow shaping and brow grooming faster than our American customer – who needs a more convincing.

Annie: Yes, that’s true but our target audience is a woman who wants to have fun. It’s not aimed at a continent or hemisphere.

How important is the collaboration between art and make-up for the brand?

Annie: It is huge. It differentiates us from every other brand. Make-up, at the end of the day is play. It shouldn’t be something that’s scary and something that causes anxiety.

Maggie: Our packaging makes you smile, the names make you laugh and the products work.

Have you ever cheated on Benefit with any other brand?

Maggie: I am proud to say I am 100 per cent loyal to Benefit.

Annie: If you had asked me this question three years ago, I would have said yes. Now that we have so many incredible new products, I have to say I am 100 per cent loyal and proud.

Name one product you girls don’t leave the house without?

Maggie: The POREfessional, is my handbag must have. I keep it with me for touch ups during the day.

Annie: I just can’t live without browzings. Your brows frame your face, and you wouldn’t put a pretty picture in an ugly frame, right?

What is an absolute must-have Benefit product on a beauty shelf?

Maggie: Benetint, without a doubt. Just dab some on your lips and cheeks and it stays on and on and on!

Annie: It’s the sexiest colour you can get from a bottle.

What is your beauty advice for Australian women?

Annie: Drink plenty of water, especially on flights, is my most recent beauty mantra. Being hydrated not only makes your skin look better, it helps you get over jetlag faster too.

Maggie: Sunscreen. With Australia’s harsh climate, it’s never too late to apply a moisturiser containing SPF every day.

One secret no one knows about you girls?

Maggie: We are totally CRAZY, LOUD, PLAYFUL women who love to have a great time. Did you know that?

High Beam or Girl Meets Pearl?

Annie: Girl meets Pearl, if I am looking for an overall youthful dewy glow that can be applied all over face.

Bella Bamba or Coralista?

Annie: That’s so hard.  If I want a slight sheen then Coralista, but if I am going for some drama then it is Bella Bamba all the way.

Another reason to celebrate is the launch of Benefit’s first-ever skincare range, b.right! Radiance. Of course, Benefit has always been synonymous with bright, glowing and illuminated skin, but It’s nearly impossible to stay out of the limelight, when this range is on your beauty dresser.

From cleansing, toning, polishing and moisturising to a hydrating mist guaranteed to have your skin singing, this range makes the perfect post shower prep. b.right! Radiance Skincare hit counters on Monday 2^nd May, run don’t walk.

Roxanne currently works as a casual reporter for Adelaide’s Sunday Mail and Messenger Newspapers, has dabbled in community radio, co-producing radio show ‘Y’, and writes on her blog, ‘This and That’. She is a soon-to-be-graduated media student at The University of Adelaide who has a dangerous affection for excruciatingly high heels and all things beauty. Having lived by the beach all of her life, she often catches herself dreaming of the warmer months basking in the sunlight, novel in one hand, sunscreen and tinted moisturiser in the other.

A science nerd at high school, she was an unlikely media entrepreneur and self-confessed beauty fiend. In fact, you were more likely to spot her memorising chemical compounds than camping outside DJ’s on the eve of the release of Chanel’s latest nail polish collection. But, thank goodness, she finally realised that her passion is writing and beauty products – lip-glosses, bronzers and facial scrubs; she adores the lot.

I discovered this fabulous blog, and fell head over my manolos for its fabulous style, candour and intrigue. The writer is anonymous, so it’s her no holds barred account of love and life. 

Here’s a recent post “Fake Photo Guy” detailing an adventure in the online dating arena.

“I agreed to meet FPG at a suburban bar, after the usual ritual of clicking online, texting, calling etc. etc. He informed me that he would be waiting outside the arranged venue next to his white Falcon. I should have cancelled right then.

Now. When you think about it, online dating involves a considerable amount of trust. We expect that the other person is telling the truth about their job, their age, their marital status. We expect that the photo that grabs our attention is genuine. Just as ours is. Sure we may have spent ages searching for a snap with perfect lighting, that makes us look thin; desirable; datable. But it is us. Albeit a VERY good us.  FPG breached that trust.

I anticipated my date. We had clicked on the phone. We had common ground as he had lived in the UK. I headed towards the venue with my eyes peeled for a white Falcon. Sure enough. There was one. Right where he said there would be one. But there was a problem. This was not the same man I had flirted with online. And over the phone.  He looked completely different. Withdrawn; skinny; gaunt. With clear evidence of facial surgery and blonde hair where there should have been dark.  Now. Weight can be lost or gained, hair can be dyed and people naturally develop complexes about  their scars and imperfections. But this was not the same man in the photo. No way. I kept walking. Looking for my date.

“FF? Its FPG. How are you going”

It was him alright But it wasn’t him… what to do? “Go inside you superficial cow” I told myself. “He’s self-conscious. You still are self-conscious. Give him a fucking chance.”

And so I did. The optimist in me won again. We headed in and I bought the first round. Pints. Something told me that although I was giving him a chance, we wouldn’t be putting away bottles of wine. I downed my pint quickly. There was nothing to do. The man had no conversation skills beyond “you’re so gorgeous” and “everyone in here must be wondering what someone like you is doing with someone like me” over and over again.  

I asked about his time in England. His travels, his sports… I had hit a wall. This was going nowhere. I may as well ask him about the photo. He’d had his chance. Personality was not winning me over either and as the night went on I realised that this man had really breached my trust. Not only that but he was not causing the entire pub to look at us with his erratic insecurity. My emotions yo-yoed constantly between anger and fear (after all, what else had he not told me?) and feeling his pain. I knew better than anyone about the debilitating effects of low self-esteem. I couldn’t decide where to steer the conversation. So I excused myself to the bathroom, picked up my bag and my coat… he’d understand later. Yes I was a coward but this date had run its course.

“FF the bathroom’s in the other direction. Through the back bar”

Busted. Served me right for being a spineless bitch.

“Thanks FPG”

I went to the bathroom. There was no window. I had to do the decent thing. I returned after exhausting all my emergency contacts to find that he had ordered a sharing platter. He was determined to stay in my company as long as possible. I couldn’t take anymore. I apologised and told him I had to leave. That I felt I’d tried my hardest despite his deceit but that things were going nowhere. I took a twenty out of my bag, placed it on the table, turned and left. As luck would have it there was a city bound tram at the traffic lights. I made my escape. I never heard from him again. His photo was later removed from the website.”

Click here to visit Fully Fashioned’s Blog

I have been following Clare Lancaster’s Women in Business website for some time, which focuses on providing a fresh perspective for women in business (put it this way, she’s one of the only newsletter subscriptions that made the cut after many of my crazy-must-minimalise-and-streamline-my-life inbox cleanses).

On her website, Clare describes Women as Business as:

- a one woman operation
- dedicated to little businesses sparked by passion and women who are pursuing their dreams
- a blog that publishes content about life and business and the ups and downs of one woman’s adventure in both
- a weekly newsletter that’s short, sweet and packed full of the best of business and marketing advice found online
- an online business and marketing resource for businesses that want to use the internet for business
- a place to be inspired by other women in business
- mighty fine

Additionally, with a manifesto like the one above, it’s not hard to see why I love her work. It’s women like Clare who bring me back to myself and inspire me to never let anyone sway me from the path I have been following, because I know where it’s at. I am very passionate about the notion of defining your own model of success instead of measuring yourself against other people’s expectations, and we need more women like Clare spreading that message.

Here’s an excerpt from Clare’s post, “When Saying No is Right For You”

“Last year, my focus was building my reputation and business consultancy. I had one objective that year – say yes to things that would make that happen – even if it scared me.

I was writing articles for business magazines and getting interviewed on radio and tv. The next logical step was to start speaking at events.

As is the way of the universe, I soon had an offer to speak at an online business seminar. Sure, I have a fear of public speaking as much as the next person but kept my objective in mind.

HOWEVER, when I was talking to the organiser I was growing more and more uncomfortable – words like, this will launch you on to the speaking circuit were like alarm bells ringing in my head.

I don’t want to be a professional speaker – that’s not part of what I want to achieve. So I declined. Of course, I beat myself up for months about saying no but I’m glad I did. It’s not easy to go against logic.

A couple of months later I was asked again to be a speaker – this time on a panel. I accepted. It was a smaller event with lots of Q & A. It felt right so I did it.”

Visit Women in Business to read more inspiring posts like this above, and I recommend that if you are a women in business, that you subscribe to her newsletter, which is always choc full of beneficial information.

The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide is excited, no, elated to bring you “Write To Tell,” a delightfully honest blog that will be sure to send you spiralling headfirst into a state of readers bliss. The author, Stephanie Crawford, will have you hooked at first read as she takes you on a journey of her life and passions.

Not only do we love her for the stories and thoughts she shares, but also for the wonderful way she writes – with integrity, truth and heart.

As a social media and news enthusiast who embraces blogging and freelance writing, Stephanie spends much of her day absorbing and creating news and media. After reading Write To Tell, you’ll see this passion for news media, but you’ll also learn about more intimate topics inspired by her own experiences. She explores subjects that interest her and issues she’s extremely passionate about.

“Blogging allows me to write and to practice my writing. It allows me to write using my own voice. It allows me to write about the things which excite and interest me. Blogging allows me to connect with so many like minded kindred spirits. I just love that!” – Stephanie Crawford

Click here, to visit Stephanie’s personal blog, Write To Tell.

First published in the Courier Mail on September 27th, 2010.

Bonjour mes belle amies.

How are you on this beautiful morning?  I hope you have had fabulous weekends and have managed to build some ‘me’ time into it at some point.  My ‘me’ time this week consisted of blissfully colour-coordinating my walk-in wardrobe.  It is now looking tidy, beautiful and tempting, and what is more, I excitedly discovered pieces I had forgotten about!

However, on congratulating myself on my wardrobe mini-achievement, it occurred to me that the real challenge was in fact going to be keeping it in this pristine and perfect condition on account of one rather busy toddler who liked to drive his ride-on car into aforesaid wardrobe and ‘helpfully’ rearrange items (especially carefully positioned handbags, shoes and scarfs).  And as I pondered on this thought with furrowed brow, my gaze fell upon a book sitting quietly and unassumingly on my bookshelf, and suddenly my little challenge didn’t seem so difficult at all.

Women Who Changed The World’ is about the fifty most inspirational women who shaped history – pioneers pushing at new frontiers of achievement and showing us how they helped shape the modern world for women.  As I picked up the book and flicked through the pages, something incredible occurred to me.  Not only was every single one of the women in this book an absolute icon, but nearly every single one was also a mother.

I felt proud, very proud.

From Cleopatra to Catherine the Great, from Margaret Thatcher to Audrey Hepburn.  Rulers, warriors, sportswomen, innovators, writers, artists, heroines and revolutionaries – they were all listed.  These women had achieved superstar status in so many different ways.  They had encountered struggles, tragedy and triumph.  And what is more, they had done it all whilst being mums.  Like you, like me.

So how did they do it?  When I couldn’t even work out how I was going to keep my newly organised walk-in wardrobe in order with a feisty toddler on the loose, how did these sensational women mark their significant stamp on the world whilst simultaneously managing to be a parent?  I wanted to know what their secret was and what’s more, I wanted some of it.  I set about reading the book from cover to cover to see if I could catch a glimpse of what this was.  And I did.  And it was something wonderful.

These ladies all had one thing in common.  An absolute unwavering belief in themselves and what they were doing. They lived through passion for their cause.  They knew they could do it and they never thought to question it.  They did not allow self-doubt to rule their worlds but trusted in their instincts, trusted in their success and trusted in their future.  There was no such word as ‘cannot’ in their vocabulary.  And that was their simple secret.  That was their weapon.

It seems to me that with a strong philosophy of positive thinking in life we really could all be super mummies in our own special way, much like these inspirational ladies.  If we spent as much time feeling positive and powerful as we do feeling worried and guilty, it is my view we would all be more efficient, more energetic and happier.  Positive energy is much like a child.  It is an astonishing force that blooms with nurture and it is capable of extraordinary things.  If you wish to learn a new hobby, move overseas, change career or undertake that long awaited project, it can be done if you have belief.

And if you have a hard time trying to inject your spirit with this serum of self-assurance, I give you one prompt to keep you focused.  Motherhood.  Being a good parent is the hardest (and most important) job in the world and if you can do this, you really CAN do anything.  As for me, my colour-coordinated closet has now been installed with a child-proof lock and life is rosy once again.

Jessica is a feature writer and currently writes for the Courier Mail, the Journal Weekender and Profile Magazine amongst other publications.  Jessica writes internationally and has been published in many high profile Australian and London print publications.  Jessica specialises in current affairs, beauty, health, women, family/parenting, lifestyle and business.  Jessica is also the business owner of Publicity (a public relations and communications consultancy in Noosa) and the mother of a gorgeous little ball of fire, Zac Xavier, who is two years old.  Jessica loves all things stylish, all things french and all things expensive and adores to be surrounded by pretty things.  Jessica has an innate ability to connect with her audience.

You can visit her website by clicking here.

Image Credits: 1, 2

If you haven’t been acquainted with Sandi Sieger, my Editor at Onya Magazine, then you surely should – quick sticks. Not only do I love her for her entrepreneurial spirit, strength and integrity, but also for the tres beautiful way she looks at life. Gorgeous of spirit and generous of heart, it is a real pleasure to work as her Beauty Editor for her successful online magazine (which is also soon going to print).

Besides reading her articles on Onya, you can follow her personal blog, ‘In The Thick Of It’. Trust me, one read is all it takes, before you’ll be speedily signing up to receive updates directly to your inbox. Along with her stunning writing, you will also be privy to her talented photography that captures the beauty in the simplicity that she joyously sees all around her.

It’s life through her eyes, and it will be a perspective that will surely inspire you to stop, breathe and take in all that surrounds you on a daily basis. Because, this is what makes life so very rich and beautiful.

Click here to visit Sandi’s personal blog, In The Thick Of It.